


Tokka One Shots

by Lazuli5



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:40:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 68,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26793022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazuli5/pseuds/Lazuli5
Summary: A collection of Tokka One Shots, written by me!
Relationships: Toph Beifong/Sokka
Comments: 109
Kudos: 143





	1. Breathe

"It looks like this is the end!"

Sokka's words were almost drowned out by the noise filling Toph's ears, but she heard him. She clung to her remaining senses like a lifeline, just like she was clinging to Sokka's fingers. Like she was clinging to her last chance at life. Which, of course, she was.

Hot liquid poured over Toph's face. She mumbled silently and let her tears stain her, because what choice did she have?

All she felt was Sokka. Sokka's arm. Sokka's hand, slick with sweat. Her own feeble fingers trying to stay bound to his. 

She heard his moan, his shriek that echoed down into the mouth of fire dancing threateningly below. All she wanted was for his pain to end, to cease, to be gone. She would have traded her own pain for his in a heartbeat.

Toph felt her heart speed up. Her breathing became shallow and fast, though she knew she shouldn't - the smoke was too think to be able to breathe properly. 

"Just breathe, Toph!" Sokka yelled, screaming his voice just to be heard over the mayhem. "Just breathe, it'll be all right, I promise!"

His voice cracked at the end of the last word, and Toph felt something hot slide down her face. A tear. But it wasn't her own.

He was crying.

Toph knew Sokka better than she knew herself, and he did not cry. She could only remember one instance before when she'd caught him almost crying.

That evening under the moonlight, when he had trusted her with his secret. 

"I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like," he'd said, and she had pondered this for a while. She supposed it was possible, since he hadn't seen his mother in years, but she didn't think she could ever forget her mother's face, even if she tried. In a way she envied him.

She remembered how she had marveled over the fact that he had told her. How she had let some of herself spill out of her body and into his. How she had blushed and punched him, because that was how she showed affection.

His eyes had welled up. She could feel it, felt his hand reach up and wipe them away. His heart rate was slow, very full of memories of him and his mother. She didn't need earthbending to know that. 

He missed his mother. He probably missed all the dead members of his tribe, but she couldn't let him see them too soon. He had a chance at life, and he had to take it. He had to grip it and cling to it, much like she was gripping and clinging to his arm.

But not for long. She knew what she had to do. She had to tell him first, though. He had to be sure of her feelings. She shouted to make herself heard.

"SOKKA!"

"I'm here, Toph!" He called back. His hand trembled, as if he wanted to tighten his grip, but didn't dare move in case she fell. "It's okay!"

"Sokka," she began, taking as deep a breath as she could, her voice brittle. "Sokka, I'm sorry."

"Wh-what?" she heard his panicked shout. "Toph, what are you talking about?"

"I love you, Sokka. I always have," Toph yelled in the direction of his voice. Her tears were hot and heavy now. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Toph - TOPH, NO!"

His agonized scream cut through her like physical pain, like a knife being wrenched into her stomach, and it was almost more than she could bear. She hesitated for a fraction of a second, but it didn't matter.

She let go.

Toph hadn't realized how long and yet how short her fall would be. Smoke clouded her thoughts. She couldn't see anything, and in this moment right here, right now, she was truly blind. No Earth beneath her feet. Wind whistled in her ears and her stomach plummeted. As she fell, she tried to relax her body, tried to remain calm, but it was no use. Her only coherent thought was that Sokka would be safe. And if that was true, then she didn't matter.

She could still hear his screams, his voice shrieking her name. She shut her eyes tighter, wishing she could block out the sound. She hoped his leg wasn't too hurt- he had to get up, he had to fight for his life. She'd given up hers to give him that chance.

Abruptly his cries stopped. Toph's eyes burst open, but obviously this didn't change her line of vision. She strained her ears, praying she was mistaken. The answer did not please her.

A loud yell. A collective groan. 

The air getting tighter around her falling body. 

No, she thought. No, it can't be. He wouldn't.

Evidently he would. Because here he was.

"Toph!" He said, no longer needing to scream, for here he was, falling right next to her. She'd never really noticed how he'd said her name before, with a puff of air, and sigh at the end. Maybe that was just because they were about to die and everything was more noticeable now.

"I love you," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. "If you go down, then so do I."

Toph felt a rush of emotions. How could he do this? He had a chance! And chance at life! How could he do this to Katara? To Aang? To Zuko? They would now mourn the loss of two bodies, not one. Not to mention that she had jumped first, therefore forcing him to jump after her. They were really going to die. There was no chance now.

And yet, even with all of this, she felt a sense of peace between them. He loved her. He had said it, those precious words that she had longed to hear for months and months. Maybe he didn't mean it in the way she wanted him to. Maybe that was okay. They loved each other, and that was all that mattered. 

Toph doubted a second had passed since he had fallen. But if there was one thing that was not building up in her body, it was fear. She was not afraid. She wasn't afraid of death. Not for her, or for Sokka. She closed her sightless eyes and held on tight to his strong arms, the arms that she had dreamed about.

And together they fell into the flames, locked in a last embrace.

-

It was over. The war that had raged on for some many years now had come to a dramatic conclusion at last.

Aang had taken Ozai's bending away, an ending that everyone agreed was brilliant. Killing was not the answer, despite everything he had been told. This was the solution to the problem that had torn so many people apart, had rampaged and tormented for years. Katara, Zuko, and Suki were very proud of Aang. 

So proud, in fact, that the subject of their two missing team members did not come up until it came time to clear away the rubble.

"Hey, Suki," Katara said at last, a few hours after the smoke had cleared. "What ever happened to the fleet of airships?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. Toph, Sokka and I got separated, but they must have managed to hold them off long enough."

"Where are they?" Zuko asked, straightening up from condensing smoke. "I didn't see them at all when we were clearing up the palace."

"Has anyone seen them?" Aang cut in. "Where would they go? Do you think they know the war is over?"

"Maybe they're hiding out somewhere."

"Maybe they're taking care of a few stragglers?" 

"Or they could be with Mai and Ty Lee, if they're all right."

"No, I just saw Mai, and she and Ty Lee are fine. They weren't with them."

Everyone began shouting answers to where Toph and Sokka might be, getting louder and louder and talking over themselves, until finally Katara yelled, "GUYS!"

Everyone turned to look at her; she had turned very pale all of a sudden, and had a strange expression on her face. 

"What if they're not okay?" She said quietly. "What if they're dead?"

They were silent for a moment, then Suki laughed nervously. "No! Katara, how can you say that? They can't be... they're not..."

"They could be," she whispered. 

Zuko looked angry. "Yeah, they could be, but they're not! They're fine! See, here comes Ty Lee right now, they're probably with her!"

But Ty Lee approached them alone. Her face, too, was strained and anxious. 

"Hey, guys," she said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Um, Mai and I found...I mean, you night want to come see...well, maybe not...Uh, there's...there's two bodies we found that might...might be your friends..."

"No," Aang said roughly. "No, there must be a mistake."

She fiddled with the end of her braid, her eyes welling up with tears. "Um. Well, Mai says its them, and," she laughed thickly, "she actually cried, she never shows emotions but I saw a tear, so, uh, I'm pretty sure it was them. There were two bodies, anyway..."

"Where?" Zuko asked, his golden eyes dilating with fury."Where are they? The bodies?"

Shakily Ty Lee pointed to her right, and didn't have time to say goodbye before he, Katara, Aang, and Suki bolted in the direction of her hand.

They didn't have to go far. Mai was standing next to what looked like two charred logs, except that logs didn't usually have arms that were wrapped around other logs, nor did logs usually have hair or headbands or boomerang pouches strapped to their backs.

The four of them stood silently, staring at the burnt flesh that was once Toph and Sokka. 

Katara let out a scream that pierced the air and sank to her knees, sobbing in front of her brother's dead body. Aang immediately went rigid, his eyes fixed on the bloody mass in front of him. Suki's eyes widened and narrowed like she was trying not to cry, her hand stroking Toph's singed hair as Zuko's silent tears coated Sokka in liquid.

"How did this happen?" Katara cried, barely audible, her chest heaving with heavy sobs. "How - how - how -"

Zuko was shaking with anger. "Whoever did this will pay. They'll pay with their life!"

"Katara, Katara, can't you heal them?" Suki asked desperately, shaking Sokka's nimble body at her. "Can't you? Can't you?!"

"They're dead," Mai said, but today there was a quiver in her usually set voice. Her cheeks had tear stains on them. "She can't heal them. They're gone."

"Shut up, Mai!" Zuko yelled, tearing at his hair. "You don't know what you're talking about! We can heal them, we can, right, Katara?"

Katara managed a shake of her head between anguished sobs. Aang let out a guttural scream, and began pacing around them, lost in his head, lost in his feelings. Suki fell into Zuko's arms, tears leaking out of her eyes. He gave a start but patted her back awkwardly, the fire still flickering in her eyes. 

"It's my fault, it's all my fault," she cried into her chest. "I - we - we were separated, if I had just been closer I could've done something -"

"If you'd been with them you'd probably be dead, too," Katara whispered mournfully. "It's my fault, I never should've let Toph out of my sight..."

"Katara, if you hadn't been with me, Azula would've killed me," Zuko said, softly stroking Suki's hair. "It's my father's fault we're in this mess. He will be punished."

"If anything it's my fault," Aang said angrily, kicking the ground. "If I had just manned up and killed Ozai we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"All of you, shup up!" Mai said dully. "It isn't any of your faults. Stop blaming yourselves, because if you do, you'll never be able to let it go. Trust me." She paused and looked down at Toph and Sokka, their arms wrapped tightly around each other. "Trust me," she repeated.

They all considered her words, the only sound Katara's incoherent mumbling and Zuko whispering softly into Suki's ear. Finally Aang spoke up.

"You're right," he muttered, his gaze locked on his friends. "It's not going to do us any good to stand around and feel sorry for ourselves. Look at them-" he gestured to Toph and Sokka's last embrace. "They didn't let death stop them. They're letting their love live on, and so will we." He set his staff firmly on the ground. "We won't let their deaths be in vain."

Katara sniffed, but didn't hesitate to get to her feet and lace her fingers through Aang's. "I agree. They wouldn't have wanted us to sit around moping over their bodies, they would've wanted us to get on with our lives."

Suki and Zuko looked at each other, then at Aang and Katara, then at Toph and Sokka's bodies. They nodded.

"You're right," he said.

"I can almost hear them telling us to get on with it," she said wistfully. They all perked up and stared at the sky hopefully.

And, just for a moment, they could almost hear two familiar voices laughing from up above. Two voices laughing together. 

That's enough for them.


	2. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suki wonders why Sokka's finger is bare, especially when she can see what's right in front of him and he can't.

When Suki first saw it, it did not bother her in the slightest. In fact, it reassured her more than anything. Her relationship with Sokka was fairly new, since it was only three years after the war. They had plenty of time.

Until they didn't. 

Suki wanted children, she wanted them badly, which Sokka knew. He knew and he ignored it as long as he could. It was one of the reasons they fell apart, for she was ignoring the fact that he was ignoring it. What they both learned about themselves cost them their relationship, and Suki was upset, but she moved on. The question was whether or not he did.

So when Suki noticed it, truly took it in, for the first time since they had broken up, she shrugged it off as she had long ago, but for different reasons. It was only seven years after the war, after all; there was no reason to worry, no reason at all.

The second time she saw it, she was quite distracted - Bumi was just beginning to crawl and Katara and Aang were conveniently late coming home from their date, leaving her and Sokka in charge - but she noticed it just the same. Unfortunately her attention was grabbed by Bumi smashing a large vase and several picture frames and the sight of it was driven from her mind for a few years.

The third time was no better. It had now been eleven years since the end of the war, and Suki was a regular babysitter for all the Gaang's children - Bumi, Kya, Izumi, and the newest addition, Lin Bei Fong. Occasionally Sokka joined her when she watched them, and they had a few good laughs at themselves when they got caught in messes. It was during one of these times that she saw it yet again, along with something else she hadn't seen before; Sokka's affection towards Lin.

When Suki saw it for a fourth time, Sokka seemed to know that she had noticed. He tried to hide it, concealed it whenever he could to avoid questions, which was difficult seeing as they continued to watch his nieces and nephews. Katara was quite pregnant with her third child and could no longer leave the house, so she stayed to help babysit while Aang did his duties. Suki saw that Katara avoided looking at it much like Sokka did, and it made her feel slightly put out. What did she know that Suki didn't?

When Suki noticed it for a fifth time, she could no longer hold her tongue, much like she could no longer find excuses for why his finger remained bare. Even her own was occupied by a shiny gold ring, and had been for years now. It was not unlike the one that entwined Katara's finger, nor the one that Toph wore. After all, one would think that fifteen years was plenty of time to find someone and settle down.

And yet Sokka's finger bore no ring.

It wasn't concerning more as interesting. Why did he remain bare? Perhaps he had simply decided that married life wasn't for him, or maybe he had put his heart out there and had been rejected. She decided she had to know.

But before she saw Sokka, before she knocked on his door, before she had even raised her hand. She heard. His laugh echoed through the door, chorusing through the window. She fixed her gaze through the gauzy glass and saw Sokka serving someone at his table, and she knew. She knew as soon as she saw the way he looked at her. The way his hand trembled next to hers, yet pulled away just so. The way her laugh made him light up. The way his eyes followed her everywhere.

The way hers seemed to as well, even though they were useless. 

Suki knew without being told, without asking questions, why Sokka wore no wedding ring and why Toph did. She prided herself in being a good observationalist, and it didn't take much to see that it pained Sokka greatly whenever Toph was with her husband. She also knew through such methods that it pained Toph to be with her husband, especially when both he and Sokka were in the same room.

This did not stop Toph from showing most un-Toph-like symptoms at his funeral a year later and sobbing uncontrollably, only able to be consoled by Sokka, whose finger was still bare as he smoothed her hair and whispered in her ear.

Suki felt bad for Toph, especially because she arrived at the funeral with a swollen belly and a very much living husband. Evidently Toph did not take much offense to this, for not even a month after her daughter was born she announced that she was pregnant again.

Katara was thrilled. She rarely left Toph's side for her first trimester, and eventually she gave up and moved in with her and Aang until her due date. It did not escape Suki's notice, however, that Sokka copied his sister and stayed by Toph throughout her entire pregnancy. It also did not escape her notice how his fingers lingered on her bulging stomach, nor how she placed his whole hand on it and matched her sightless eyes with his. Indeed, hardly anything escaped Suki's notice.

When Suyin Bei Fong was born, however, it was extremely difficult for anyone to avoid staring at her tanned skin, the perfect mix of Toph's pale complexion and Sokka's mocha one. It was extremely difficult to ignore her crystal blue eyes, so unlike her mother's emerald ones. It was extremely difficult to not put two and two together and confront Toph about it, as Suki discovered when Suyin was two weeks old. Only three things made her hold her tongue.

The wedding invitation that arrived that month, the simple gold rings that bound Toph and Sokka for life, and the smiles that curved both of their faces as they faced the crowd and held up their hands.


	3. The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph doesn't sing in front of anyone. Of course, whether she likes it or not, the exception is Sokka

Toph Bei Fong grew up in a world where society meant everything and where money was God. Her parents, being the upper class members they were, decided that their daughter needed to be educated in music.

Not playing an instrument, of course, because in their minds how on Earth could their blind daughter learn to read music? No, voice lessons were the way that Toph was pushed onto. 

And so they began: week and after sorry, miserable, mind-numbing week she was escorted to the home of the most celebrated singer in Ba Sing Se, were she sat for two hours listening to her rant about how hopeless she was and how she would never accomplish so much as a simple tune and how ashamed the singer was to be in her presence and how she tolerated her because she was paid very well for it.

After five years that can really take a toll on a person.

As Toph grew up, her teacher began shutting her in a separate room for the hours they spent together so that she would not, as she said many times, "have to look at those goddamn eyes." She still made her sing, however, sending a butler with instructions on which song.

And, much to her teacher's dismay, she got better. She had a high, clear soprano voice that carried through the windows and became one with the songbirds. She sang about rivers and mountains, about clouds and oceans, about sadness and love. About freedom.

For that was the thing Toph wanted more than anything in the world. The freedom that her parents sucked out of her. The freedom to go where she pleased without an entourage. The freedom to make choices she should've been making long ago. Like singing, for instance. Did her parents ask her if she would like to take it up? Of course not. And yet here she was, belting out a tune about the one thing she could not have.

So when Toph decided to take matters into her own hands and join the Avatar, she pushed her lessons out of her mind, far, far back where she would not have to think about it. She vowed to never again sing another song.

Until one night on the run from the Western Air Temple. They were having a campfire, and everyone was singing a tune. Toph remained silent, mouthing the words so as to knock off suspicion. But this didn't stop her from rushing to her tent the moment it was over, curling into a tiny ball and fighting back tears. 

Only Sokka's eyes followed her retreating figure, and only Sokka's hand was the one knocking on her Earth-woven tent.

"What do you want?" Toph cried angrily.

"I just want to talk, Toph," Sokka said. "Come on, it's just me."

"Just you," she muttered under her breath, but with a toss of her hand the door opened and Sokka slid inside, folding his knees up to his chest as he sat down next to her.

"What do you want? Come to tell me that I'm a horrible singer?"

"I'm gonna cut to the chase. You and I both know you weren't singing out there. How come?"

"Maybe because I don't like sing-alongs," Toph shot back, careful to keep the shock out of her voice. How did he know?

"True," he replied easily. "The Toph I know wouldn't succumb to such a juvenile activity. And yet," he said, leaning forward so that hs was on his stomach with his head propped on his hands, "you made the effort to mouth the words. So much extra work, wouldn't you agree?"

Toph muttered an inaudible reply, and Sokka grinned. "What's the big deal? You can tell me. My lips are sealed."

"I said shut up, Snoozles! Not everyone's an open book like you, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

"Why'd you have to come barging in here asking stupid questions anyway? Shouldn't you be out there cuddling with your little girlfriend, making everybody sick? Huh? Are you gonna answer me, or are you gonna sit there like a skunk fish with your mouth wide open? Huh? HUH?"

Sokka abruptly shut his hinging jaw. "Um...Sorry?"

Toph snarled. In truth she really couldn't stand to feel the vibrations of Sokka's lips locked onto Suki's, or feel her hand entwine into his. It made her stomach swirl, but that was not the cause of her anger tonight. Mostly, anyway.

"Just get out!" She yelled, her fists closing in on themselves.

Sokka blinked, his eyes sad. Toph heard him take in a shaky breath, but he didn't protest. He simply nodded and let himself out of the tent, leaving Toph breathing very heavily behind him. 

They did not mention the incident the next morning; on the contrary, they pretended it never happened. The only think that Toph could sense as different was Sokka straying at Suki's side, hesitant to be close to her. She couldn't imagine why. But Sokka talked and joked and teased her like normal, so she decided to react normally too.

In fact, she forgot about the incident until nearly two decades later, when she had just quietly shut the door to her eldest daughter's room and turned to go into her youngest's when she ran smack into a man standing in her way.

"Oof!" She muttered, rubbing her forehead. "Watch it, Snoozles."

Though she couldn't see it, she felt the grin curving her husband's face as he leaned casually against the doorframe of Suyin's bedroom. "I heard you, you know."

Toph blushed and stared determinedly at what she hoped was his face. He was much taller than her now, it was hard to tell anymore. Even at their wedding she had missed his lips and he had had to kiss her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Sokka inclined his head toward Lin's door. "I heard you singing to her. I didn't know that's why you always made me put her toothbrush back before saying goodnight."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should've realized," she said. "It's kind of a dumb excuse. I didn't think you'd actually listen to me."

"I've learned that it's very unwise not to listen to you," he chuckled. "But that's not the point. The point is -" here he jabbed a finger playfully at her chest "- you can sing."

"So what if I can? I never said I couldn't."

"Then why was it such a big secret?"

She crossed her arms. "I don't know. I... I used to take lessons when I was little, and, well..." She proceeded to tell him what her teacher had screamed at her, and how she sang about the freedom she could never have, and how once she did she vowed to never sing again. Sokka listened patiently, his hands never leaving her shoulders.

"I think I understand," he said when she had finished. She waited for him to say more, but he didn't. His eyes seemed to bore into her very soul.

"Do you now?"

"Yes," he said matter-of-factly, putting his arms around hers and hugging her tightly. Toph was surprised at first, but slowly melted into him. She would never admit it, but Sokka gave the best hugs.

"You have a beautiful voice," he whispered.

And despite everything her teacher had shouted at her, despite everything she had told herself, despite everything she stood, in that moment, without a doubt, she believed him.


	4. Sozin's Comet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who else would Sokka turn to when Suko breaks up with him but his best friend Toph?

It was one of those rare occasions where no one couldn't find anything to complain about. The sky was clear, the sea was blue, and the sand was just waiting to be sculpted. Everyone picked a spot and began building.

It didn't take long for Aang to perfect his sand Appa. "Check it out!" He laughed, admiring his horns. "I did Appa!"

Appa stared down his doppelganger and roared at it.

"Good job, Twinkle Toes," Toph said appreciatively. "But I've been working on my sand bending, and, well - see for yourself!"

She stomped her foot onto the ground and the sand sunk into the ground, leaving behind a miniature Ba Sing Se.

"Cool!" Aang said impressively. "You even made a tiny Earth King and Bosco!"

"Phsaw!" Sokka called over. "I can do better than that."

"Oh, yeah? Let's see it, Snoozles," Toph said as she and Aang walked over to Sokka's sculpture. Suki was laying on a towel nearby, watching Sokka work with a strange expression on her face.

Sokka finally stepped aside to reveal a grotesque sand blob with seaweed for hair, a starfish nose, and shells for a mouth. "Ta da!"

Aang scratched his head. "Is it a... blubbering blob monster?"

"No!" Sokka crossed his arms and turned up his nose. "It's Suki!"

Aang glanced at Toph and burst out laughing, both of them slapping their knees and gasping for breath. Suki merely stared at them, her face blank.

"Suki, we'll all understand if you break up with him over this," Toph giggled. When she didn't respond, Aang and Sokka looked at her.

"Suki?" Sokka said tentatively. 

She blinked and shook her head as though coming out of a trance. "Sorry, must have dozed off...What?"

"I said if you break up with him, we'd all be on your side," Toph repeated, nodding her head toward the sad-looking sand Suki.

"Oh...ha, ha, ha," she laughed weakly. "Uh, Sokka, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Oooooo," Toph and Aang catcalled as Sokka nodded and followed her into the think brush.

"So what's up?" He said when she stopped and turned to face him, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

Suki shrugged them off and avoided his gaze, biting her lip. "Um...listen, Sokka..." she took a deep breath and started again. "About the sand sculpture -"

"Oh, that," he said carelessly, tossing his hand. "I know it's not that great, but I was trying my best."

"No, it's not that," Suki said, sounding agitated now. She crossed her arms and looked him in the eye. "It's about what Toph said. Sokka, I'm really sorry, but I think we should break up."

Sokka half-laughed, a smile still on his face. He shook his head stupidly. "Uh - I'm sorry, what?"

"I think we should break up," she repeated determinedly. 

"Suki...wha - I mean..." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Where is this coming from?" 

"I'm sorry, Sokka, really, I am," Suki said in a rush. "Its just that, well, I don't feel that way about you anymore, and actually I've been doing some thinking, and I'm not sure if I ever really did, and, well -"

"You're doing this NOW?" Sokka interrupted, his voice coursing with anger. "Right now, right before the world might end? That's when you tell me you don't like me anymore?"

"But don't you see, that's why I am doing it now!" She pleaded. "I don't want - I mean, I couldn't stand it if - What I'm trying to say is that, well if you die I don't want you to die thinking I love you, and oh, oh, that came out wrong..."

Sokka let out a dark, cold laugh. "Wow. I knew you were harsh with the knives but I didn't know you were harsh with the words, too."

"Come on, Sokka. I'm doing the right thing."

"Yeah. You keep telling yourself that."

"I - Sokka, wait!"

He ignored her and turned abruptly away from the brush so she couldn't see his tears. The leaves brustled as he pushed them aside and looked up to see Aang, Toph, Katara, and Zuko staring at him.

"What?" He said defensively, trying to subtly wipe his eyes.

"Um..." Katara said hesitantly. Zuko scratched the back of his neck and Aang gave him a sympathetic half smirk.

"We heard," Toph said, breaking the silence. Somehow her voice seemed lighter than usual. Happy, even. Sokka didn't know what to make of this, especially now.

"Oh," he muttered. Their eyes, even Toph's useless ones, seemed to bore into, staring at his very soul. He didn't like it. Not here, not now. He glared at them all. "Look -"

He was interrupted by Suki shuffling her way out of the brush, carefully avoiding everyone's gaze. She failed when her eyes flitted up for a second and saw everyone's eyes on her. 

"What?" She echoed, realizing that she was standing beside Sokka and moving awkwardly a few feet to the left. 

"I'm...gonna go..." he gestured vaguely to the right. "Over there. Don't -" he raised his eyebrows at Katara, who opened her mouth as if to argue "- Follow me."

Before Sokka could move Suki shot Zuko a strange look and practically ran up to the house. Sokka angrily kicked the sand and set off in the opposite direction, toward the ocean.

The gang looked at each other uncomfortably, Aang and Katara having a silent argument while Toph jabbed her finger on Zuko then at Suki. Finally it was decided that Aang and Toph would go after Sokka while Katara and Zuki consoled Suki.

Toph held onto Aang's arm as she couldn't see very well in the sand and he led her to a nearby rock that was occupied by Sokka. She let go of Aang and started toward him. 

"I told you not to follow me."

Toph ignored him and sat down on the rock next to him, closing her sightless eyes and letting the sea breeze blow through her hair. They didn't say anything for a while, just sitting together, listening to the waves crash against the shore.

"I just never thought that it would end like this," Sokka said bitterly.

"Like what? Be specific."

He snarled at her uncharacteristically. "Like her screaming at me that she never liked me."

"Oh, come on, she wasn't screaming."

"It sure felt like it. And did she really have to use that word? Love? I don't love her! I mean, sure, I really liked her, but love?" He scoffed, his voice crawling higher and higher. "Love? Who said anything about love? I didn't - I wasn't-"

"Easy there, Snoozles. Don't get hysterical on me," Toph said lightly, putting her hand on his shoulder to pull his own away from his hair. "Look, whatever Suki says, she did love you, at least at some point. I could tell."

Sokka glanced at her, taking her in. He blinked, but she was still there. He stared like he was seeing her for the first time. She really was pretty, with her raven black hair and her pale green eyes. Sokka felt a dazed smile curl his face and quickly shook his head. No. 

"You really think so?" He said, his voice cracking as he forced himself to look away.

"I know so," she replied. "Believe it or not, I'm very good with feelings."

Sokka let out a howl of laughter that didn't match his miserable demeanor, actually leaning forward and slapping his knee. "You," he gasped, coming up for air, "You, Toph Bei Fong, good with FEELINGS?!"

"Shut up," Toph muttered. "Okay, maybe I'm not so good with my own feelings." 

As she said this, the strangest thing happened. A blush crept its way across her cheeks, blooming through her nose and giving the impression that she had been dusted in fine red powder. Sokka tore his eyes away from her to keep his own face from catching fire.

"But I'm good with other people's," she continued as though she had never paused. "I'm the human lie detector, remember?"

"Oh, are you?" He mused. "I thought you were the Greatest Earth Bender in the World?"

"It's such a bother being so amazing," Toph said, fanning herself comically. Sokka laughed, and she grinned 

"Thanks, Toph," he said quietly. His hand quivered next to hers, and his instinct was to pull away. But why not, he reasoned, it's only a friendly gesture. He gave in and squeezed her hand.

She gave a start, but squeezed back. "Anytime, Meathead." She directed her eyes to where she hoped his were and stared at them. He stared back. She didn't know how or why but they were drawing closer and closer and she could feel his breath on her, so full of ocean and salt and all the good things in the world and she wanted nothing more than for his lips to meet hers and she senses that he felt the same and they were almost there and she closed her eyes and -

"A-hem."

Toph jerked away from Sokka immediately. She had forgotten Aang was there, had listened to their whole conversation, had witnessed their almost kiss - she shook her head as her blush deepened. Sokka sounded annoyed when he yelled, "Aang!

"Hey, I've been here the whole time!" He said, holding up his hand in defense. "You just didn't see me."

"Argh!" Sokka threw his hands in the air, but Toph noticed he was careful to lay them back down neatly away from her. For some reason this left a plummeting feeling in her stomach. 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, geez," Aang muttered as he backed away slowly. "I'll just....go with Katara and Zuko, then."

He ran away quickly like he was anxious the get out of there, leaving Toph and Sokka behind to avoid each other's gaze.

"He's never really understood the word privacy," she said.

Sokka snorted. "No kidding." They fell quiet, unsure what to say until he leapt off of the rock and dusted himself off.

"Guess we should go find the others," he said, and Toph was about to jump after him when she realized he was holding out his hand for her. She bit her lip but took it, holding on a bit longer than was necessary as she crept down.

"Thanks." 

"No problem."

They're hands were still entwined as they set off toward the others. Neither of them planned on letting go.


	5. All Cried Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if the sandbenders had taken Toph as well as Appa?

It was hard enough to keep her feet planted on the squishy sand and her hands gripped on the sinking library, but when Toph heard the gritty sound of a sand-sailer behind her she felt all hope crumble out of her, much like the blocks that made up the tower were dropping like flies all around her.

No, she thought. No, I can do this.

"Who's there?" She croaked as loudly as she could muster, still struggling against the weight of the library. 

Voices rippled across the desert. "Put a muzzle on 'im!" One of then shouted. There was a thumping noise, a swish of rope. Appa roared.

"Don't make me put this down!" Toph shouted in the direction of the roars. She let go of the tower and cut a slice of sand at them, but it missed spectacularly. Quickly she turned and grabbed the library again.

The slap of the ropes against Appa's skin was a sound Toph hoped she'd never hear again, nor the grunts of pain that escaped his mouth. She let go again and tried to sandbend at the thieves, and knew she'd hit her mark this time when she heard a shriek and several cries of surprise. 

"Get the girl, too!" The muzzle man yelled. 

Toph wished she could let go and rub her ears, for surely she'd misheard. "Get the girl, too?" That couldn't be her. And yet she was the only girl in sight.

Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead and slipped down into her sightless eyes. The ropes that bound Appa to one of the sand-sailers were suddenly draped across her front, crisscrossing her chest and back, digging into her skin and weighing her down. Cursing, she tried to sandbend her way out of the chains, but they were too strong. 

"Put 'er on this one 'ere!" Another man shouted. Hands grasped at her and pulled her away from the tower, the library where her friends were drowning in sand...

"Get off me!" She shrieked. "My friends are in there, I have to help them! Get your hands off me, you slimy little -"

Her captor laughed. "Fiesty, this one is!" He leaned closer to her, his breath hot on her cheek. "You'll learn soon, girly, that an attitude gets you far."

In response, Toph bit his finger. He yelped and dropped her momentarily, and she slipped and slid across the sand, trying to feel her way to the tower again. Finally her hands found the stony surface and she dug her fingers into it, holding it up with a grunt. 

"You're not getting away that easy, girly!" The man shouted, grabbing her by a fistful of hair. Toph cried out, her hands feebly swatting his as he dragged her over to a sand-sailer and tying her firmly to a post.

The sandbender said something unintelligible and another voice laughed, and suddenly they were moving, the sailer flying swiftly across the desert.

Toph whimpered softly. She couldn't see anything when her feet were planted on the wood floorboard, her hair was sandy and whipping across her face, and she could hear Appa moaning in pain, in her direction.

"I'm sorry, Appa," she whispered, and, to her dismay, she heard the roar of the library sinking into the ground. "I'm sorry, guys."

And there was nothing she could do to prevent herself from being taken away.

-

Meanwhile, below the sand that was whisking Toph away, Sokka, Katara, and Aang were fighting for their lives, trying to escape the owl while desperately attempting to keep hold of their books as the library filled with sand.

"Your waterbending won't do you much good down here," Wan Shi Tong said, raising his head and unfolding his wings to attack. "I've studied Northern water style, Southern water style, even Foggy Swamp style."

Katara snarled and jerked her hand, but before she could do anything Aang flew his glider in with Sokka, who jumped off with a book in hand. He slammed the book onto Wan Shi Tong's head, knocking him out.

"And that's called Sokka style," he said triumphantly, clapping his hands together. "Now let's get the heck out of here!"

Light was pouring in from the ceiling, sand following it as it filled up the edges of the library. The three and Momo raced to the center of the bridge and grabbed the rope and climbed as fast as they could. For some reason, the library was shaking and sinking into the ground.

"What's the deal with this tower?" Sokka shouted to Katara. 

"Who knows? Just go!" She pleaded from below him. "Hurry!"

They reached the top, where the spiraled out of the tower just as it sank into the ground, sealing the entrance. They laid flat on the ground for a moment, appreciating the fact that they were still breathing. Then Aang hopped up and scanned the horizon, his smile fading as he took in what wasn't there.

"Hey guys..." he said hesitantly. "Where's Appa?"

Katara sat up, instantly alert. She, too, glanced around and evidently came to the same conclusion. "Oh, no..."

"No, no, no, NO!" Sokka yelled, his eyes whipping across the desert. "Where's Toph?!"

Aang didn't hear him - he was on his glider up in the air, searching the perimeter, but Katara did. She gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears.

"TOPH!" Sokka shouted, darting in every direction with a crazed look on his face. "TOPH! TOPH!"

Katara stared straight ahead, willing herself not to cry. She mustn't cry, she had to hold ot together for the sake of the group. 

"TOPH! TOPH!"

"It's no use, Sokka, they're gone," she said, unable to take his frantic yelling.

"No use? No use?! NO USE?" 

"Calm down, freaking out won't help anything."

"Calm down? Calm down?!"

"Sokka!"

"Guys, both of you, shut up!" Aang yelled, landing between them. His face was enraged, but they softened slightly when he took in the siblings. "Wait. Toph - ?"

"She's gone too!" Sokka wailed, sinking to his knees. Katara momentarily forgot her anger with her brother and gave a him a tight hug. 

To their surprise, Aang laughed. It wasn't a normal laugh, however, it was full of sarcasm and fury and irony. "Oh, come ON!" He began pacing, kicking up sand in their faces. "I knew it, I knew it! She never liked Appa, and now she's gone and taken him away! Why did we leave her up here alone with him?! UGH!"

"Aang, I know you're upset, but you can't possibly believe that Toph took Appa and stranded us out here!" Katara protested. "She's probably the only reason that tower stayed up so long."

"Yeah, sure, take her side!"

"I'm not taking anyone's side!"

"Really? Could've fooled me! Appa is gone and you don't even care!"

"Toph is gone too! They were probably taken together!"

Aang glared uncharacteristically at her and abruptly opened his glider. "I'm going after Appa."

"Aang, come on, we can't afford to be fighting right now."

He closed his eyes tightly, then sighed and closed his glider. "I know." It wasn't exactly an apology, but Katara looked relieved.

"Well, then I guess we should start moving, we can't stay here, and we're only ones who know about the solar eclipse," she said, beginning to pull Sokka off his feet, which was quite difficult as he was clearly shaken up by the group kidnappings.

And so they began their treacherous journey across the wide and lonesome desert, which stretched from minutes into hours slowly and quickly at the same time. They became exhausted and dehydrated before long. Aang and Katara took the lead while Sokka brought up the rear, his tear-stained cheeks clashing against his flushed cheeks.

"Katara, can I have some water?"

She sighed. "Okay, but we've got to try and conserve it." She bent four small blobs of water into each of their mouths and Momo's.

Sokka swished the water in his mouth dejectedly. "Is that all?"

Katara nodded sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be too sorry," he exclaimed, pointing excitedly behind her. "Look!"

A small cactus was standing not too far away, prettily adorned with white flowers and a few thorns. Sokka didn't hesitate to slash it open with his machete and sloppily drink its insides.

Katara was more cautious. "Sokka, we really shouldn't be eating strange plants."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. It's very thirst-quenching." He grinned, then began to shake violently. Katara and Aang blinked, shooting each other strange looks.

"Drink cactus juice!" He said in an echoing voice. "It'll quench ya! Nothing's quenchier! It's the quenchiest!"

"O-Okay, I think you've had enough," Katara said, delicately taking the empty cactus out of her brother's hand. He smiled stupidly at her in return. 

Aang looked annoyed. "Look, are we done here? Appa and Toph could be anywhere by now!"

"Toph?" Sokka said, perking up immediately. "Hey, yeah, where is Toph, anyway? I have to tell her something."

Katara rolled her eyes, unsure whether to laugh or cry. "Um. Don't you remember, Sokka? Toph is -"

"It's reeeeeally important," he interrupted, tugging on her dress as if to make her understand just how much he needed to talk to Toph. "Really. So where is she?"

"She's...well, she's not here right now. What do you need to tell her?"

Sokka frowned. "It's personal, Katara!"

"Sokka, Katara, come ON!" Aang yelled, stamping his glider into the ground. "Appa is gone and we're sitting here arguing about stupid things!"

"Hey!" Sokka said, swaying on his feet and stumbling into Aang's arms, who grunted under his weight. "Toph is not stupid!" He slapped him lightly across the cheek.

Aang looked disgusted and dropped him to the ground, opening his glider once more. "This is taking too long. I'm going by myself. I mean it this time. Don't start, Katara!" He yelled, for Katara has opened her mouth to argue. "I'm looking for Appa."

She bit her lip but didn't protest when Aang took off on his glider and soon became nothing more than a speck in the distance. 

Sokka didn't seemed concerned that three had become two as they began trekking the desert once more - he was obviously more worried that Toph was not with them. 

"Where's Toph?"

"I don't know, Sokka."

"Oh." A pause. "Is Toph here?"

"No, Sokka."

"Oh." Another pause. "Is she coming?"

Katara gripped her arm to keep from screaming. "No, Sokka, all right?"

Sokka nodded happily, but not even ten seconds later he was trying every variation of "Where's Toph?" That he could think of, Katara at first responding honestly but quickly falling into answers like, "Under that dune," and "With Zuko."

After the fifty-seventh answer, which was, "The Eastern Air Temple," Sokka was quiet for a very long time, keeping his distance from Katara, dragging his hands and looking dejected. 

When he failed to ask where Toph was for half an hour, Katara grew worried. She stopped and turned around to see her brother staring up into the sky, his eyes glazed over.

"Sokka? You okay?"

He didn't look at her but kept his gaze fixed on the bright sun. "How did we get out here to the middle of the ocean?"

Katara smirked, and for the first time that day felt like smiling. "Come on, let's get some rest."

-

Everything was dark in Toph's world, but she couldn't remember a time when she was as dark as this. She was still strapped to the sand-sailer, being whisked along to who knew where. Certainly not her, but as far as she could tell they were nearing their destination; the sandbenders were getting antsy, talking loudly and laughing. Maybe she could've escaped if she really tried, but the constant roars from the sailer to her left reminded her that she couldn't just leave Appa behind. 

Well, at least Appa could see. Here was Toph, truly blind, with no earth to see through, no friends to tell her what was going on, and no Sokka to hold on to.

Sokka. The full impact of him, of his name, of her best friend, hit her hard. Where was he? Was he worried about her? Or had he perished with Katara and Aang in the library? She had no way to know if he was even still alive. 

No. He had to be, they all had to be. They had to be because she'd tried, tried to escape, tried to tun back to them, to save them. They had to be alive because she willed them to be.

The sand-sailer came to an abrupt halt, jerking her forward and the ropes that bound her together tightened against her already tender skin. The benders became louder and more spirited, celebrating their catch of a real Air Bison. No one seemed to remember that Toph was there - everyone was working around her, careful to steer clear. She half wondered if they would just leave her here, strapped to the post, when a bender came up to her and untied her gently, taking care to keep her hands bound together tightly.

"There you go," he said, helping her down. She eagerly felt the ground, but her wish was not granted. Still sand. His voice was soft and so was his skin, so unlike her original captor's, which was the rough and dry she expected from a sandbender. "Do you see that tall building over there?"

Toph didn't answer, instead keeping her lips sealed. She lifted her head into the air with a sense of pride. But somehow the order to keep her mouth shut got lost on the way to her brain and out tumbled the words, "I'm blind."

"WHAT?" 

Toph jumped, for she hadn't sensed the man standing next to her, but the bender who held her ropes responded calmly. "You're blind?"

She willed herself not to answer, but again his soft voice coaxed a nod out of her. The loud man spoke angrily, and from the grunt Softy let out she guessed that he had shoved him. "What the 'ell we gon' do wit a blind girl?! We ain't got no use for a blind bastard! Take 'er back!"

"So you want to drop her back off where we found her, in the middle of the desert?" He said coldly, tightening his grip on her ropes. "Take it up with the boss if you want, but I'm taking her to where I'm supposed to."

With a firm nod Softy directed her into a nearby building, and, feeling relived, she found that it had a dirt floor. Sight flooded her like a tidal wave, and she became aware of everything and everyone. It appeared to be some sort of bar, perhaps the same one her and her friends had first heard about the library in, and it was full of people shouting. Toph wrinkled her nose as she recognized the loudest shout of all to be the sandbender who had told his goons to put a muzzle on Appa.

"Hey! Who's that?" He yelled in their direction, and from his speech she realized he was extremely drunk. 

"The girl you told us to bring along!" Softy shouted back, and Toph could feel the boss's confusion at his words. 

"What girl? I don't 'member no girl!" He slurred, suddenly falling and draping himself across Softy's thin frame, who grunted under his weight and let go of her ropes for a moment, but this didn't bother her. A moment was all she needed.

With the swiftness that she hadn't had all day, Toph earthbended a sharp rock into her topes and broke free, slapping each man in the pub with heavy pieces of Earth. She punched and shoved and heaved all the rocks she could muster, having gone such a long time without water or food, but when she reached the only conscious person in the room besides herself and realized it was Softy, she hesitated. 

"Go!" He said, no longer needing to shout to be heard. "Go! Leave while you can, before they wake up!"

She clenched her fingers against the ground. He was telling the truth, he wanted her to escape. But something else held her back.

"Where is the bison?"

"I -" Softy's voice cracked in defeat. "I'm sorry, he's gone already. Traders were waiting here, and they took him straight off. They were traveling west, to Ba Sing Se."

Toph's lips parted in surprise, but shut quickly in anger. She could've left him there, but fury coated her body and she lost control. Rocks tumbled from the shaking ceiling and uplifted from the quaking ground, one of them knocking Softy out. She only felt a bit of regret, looking back only once as she allowed anger to take the driver's seat and sandbent herself to the west.

"I'm coming, Appa," she muttered. "I'm coming, Sokka."

-

A shadow passing over Katara woke her up. She rubbed her eyes as Aang landed a few feet away from her and Sokka, his head bowed low. She knew what that meant.

"I'm sorry, Aang."

He ignored her, keeping his eyes shut tight against the moon. Katara glanced up, too. They had slept through the day, despite their lack of food and little water. She got up and tried to place her hand on Aang's shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

"We're never going to make it out of here. Not without Appa. You and I both know it."

Katara tried to smile encouragingly. "Come on, we can do this if we work together! Right, Sokka?"

Sokka was still sleeping, so she rolled her eyes and shook him awake. He snapped up into a sitting position with a loud, "TOPH!" Katara backed away slowly, a confused expression on her face. 

He blinked, shielding his eyes from the sun. "Wha - Where are we?"

"In the desert," his sister said as kindly as she could. "Remeber, Sokka? We went to the library and -" she gasped. "The library! Oh my Spirits, yes! Sokka, where are the papers you go from the library?"

"Oh. Um..." he rummaged around in his sack. "Here."

"What does it matter?" Aang said impatiently. "It's not going to help us find Appa."

"No, but it can tell us the way to Ba Sing Se. We'll use the stars. That way we can travel at night and rest during the day."

She looked at Sokka and Aang to see how they reacted to this plan. They were both lying on the sand, exhausted and grief-stricken over different things, throwing her pitying looks.

"Just try and get some more sleep. We'll start again in a few hours."

-

"Okay, everybody, up and at 'em! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Sokka groaned and rolled over, muttering, "Toph," in his sleep. Katara kicked his leg and he jerked awake. 

"Hey!"

"Come on, Sokka, we have to go," Katara said. She made her way over to Aang and moved to wake him, but he muttered, "I'm up," before she got close. "I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about Appa."

Katara sighed. "Me, too." They both glanced at Sokka, who blushed and murmured, "Oh. Uh, yeah, same."

A dark shadow passed over them, blotting out the full moon. Aang immediately sat up and a large smile nearly split his face. "Appa!"

Katara and Sokka looked up eagerly too, but it was just a cloud passing by. Everyone's shoulders slouched in disappointment, though Katara perked up rather quickly. 

"Wait! A cloud!" She reached to her side and handed her water pouch to Aang. "Here, fly up to it and bend the water into my pouch."

He gave her a look of hatred but snatched the bag and flew up to the cloud, passing through it twice and causing the remains of it to fade. He landed on the ground and shoved the punch into Katara's hands. She eagerly glanced into it to reveal that it was only a quarter of the way full.

"Wow...there's hardly any in here."

Aang's eye twitched and he opened his mouth angrily. "I'm sorry, okay? It was a desert cloud! I did all I could!" He jabbed his staff at Katara's chest. "What are you doing, huh?"

She shoved the staff off of her and gave him a shocked look. "What am I doing? I'm trying to keep the group together, that's what!"

"Oh, and a swell job you're doing, we're getting along so well!"

"How can you say that? I'm -"

"Just stop it, both of you!" Sokka yelled, throwing his hands out at them, forcing them apart. "Appa's missing and Toph's missing and she could be dead -" he broke off, backing up a few steps and tripping over something sticking up out of the ground. "Ouch!"

He sat up to rub his foot as Katara came over to inspect the rock-like thing. "What is that?"

Even Aang looked mildly curious. He knelt down, shot up into the air, and blew hard onto the sand surrounding them, revealing a sand-sailer buried under the ground.

"It's one of thos gliders the sandbenders use!" Katara said excitedly. "And look - it's got a compass on it! We can use it to get out of here, we're going to make it!"

Aang merely grunted and boarded the ship, stancing himself to blow gusts of wind. Sokka climbed on as well, and Katara joined last, positioned at the front near the compass. When she nodded, Aang began airbending and the glider began moving swiftly across the sand.

Sokka leaned against one of the posts, his ponytail whipping in the wind. "We're coming, Toph," he whispered.

-

Toph was still moving west, but her anger was slowly dying out, and with it, her sand bening abilities. She narrowed her sightless eyes and concentrated on putting one sand-enclosed foot in front of the other, willing the sand to work with her, to bow under her abilities.

"Come on, come on," she muttered. The mountains she ran on were crawling closer and closer to the ground, and Toph felt her willpower crumbling along with the sand. However, before they reached the ground, Toph heard a very familiar roar.

"Appa!" She whispered, slowing down just before her sand bending gave way completely, causing her plop down with an "Oof!"

The laughter surrounding Appa's roar paused and Toph freezed. She couldn't tell whether or not they were looking at her and prayed that they weren't. Evidently her prayer was answered for the conversation continued, allowing Toph to breathe again.

"Okay...how am I going to get us both out of here?" She muttered to herself, pressing her feet as hard as she could into the sand. She could just barely feel the foundation of a building about twenty feet away from her, and slowly began to make her way toward it. 

Finally her outstretched hands touched solid wood. She pressed her feet into the sand again and screwed up her concentration. There was a back door to her left, so she felt her way to it and opened it silently.

She had to refrain from letting out a sigh of relief when her feet touched the solid dirt floor. It felt so good beneath her toes, and it felt so good to be able to see again. There were people all around her, mostly men, and she hoped she fit in. Though she would never admit it she couldn't deny that her small height helped her blend. She began searching the crowd - for what, she didn't know, but it seemed the right thing to do.

Toph reached the front door without coming up with any information. She heaved a big sigh when Appa roared again, jerking her head up. Voices, the same voices she had heard laughing, were approaching the door. She slid away and pressed herself against the wall, listening to their feet pounding against the floor.

When the last man had made his way inside, Toph slipped out the door with her eyes shut tight, saying a silent goodbye to the familiarity of the earth floor. Her feet squished against the sand and she lost all sense of anything, and wouldn't have known where to go if Appa hadn't roared again.

"Appa!" She whisper-shouted. "Appa, it's me, it's Toph!"

Another roar. Toph smirked. 

"That's good, keep roaring! I'll find you in a second."

Appa took the hint and began letting out more roars, quieter than before so as not to attract attention to them. Soon Toph's fingers felt his soft fur, and she didn't hesitate to sink into it.

"I'm sorry, Appa," she murmured into his down. "Its my fault we're in this mess."

Appa nuzzled his head against hers and moaned softly, as if to tell her that he did not blame her, that she couldn't have done anything. She buried herself deeper into his fur where he couldn't see the tears leaking out of her eyes.

They stayed there for a few moments before Toph let go and attempted to climb into the saddle on his back. "Sorry, Appa, this might hurt a little."

If it did, Appa made no noise, instead allowing her to clench his fur in her fists as she made her way up, finally settling herself on his back. On instinct she reached out her arm to curl around Sokka, but paused midair when she realized he wasn't there.

The hole in her heart surprised her.

"Okay, Appa," she whispered, shaking her head. Pining for Sokka wouldn't help her get back to him. "Yip, yip!"

-

The glider moved quickly across the sand, but it wasn't fast enough for Sokka.

"Come on, come on, come on," he kept muttering under his breath, his thoughts consumed by Toph. The other two didn't even seem concerned that she was gone too, they were so focused on Appa. And, if he was honest with himself, he hadn't even realized how much he cared for Toph until she wasn't there.

He shook his head. No, that wasn't the right way to put it. Of course he cared about Toph. Sure, she could be annoying with her constant teasing and punching, but he knew that Katara found him annoying for those same reasons. He couldn't hold that against her, just like he didn't hold it against Toph. No, this was something new, something he hadn't felt before.

He couldn't remember what he'd said while under the influence of the cactus juice and he was almost afraid to ask Katara for fear of what she would say. He knew it had something to do with Toph. How he knew, he couldn't explain, but he just knew.

Her absence had shot a hole through his stomach, leaving behind a terrible pain, so real, so cruel, and it only got worse as they neared Ba Sing Se. What if she wasn't there? What if she was somewhere else entirely? What if she was dead? Sokka didn't know how he would deal, even the thought made him double over. He could barely stomach the feeling that she wasn't with him at all. He glanced sadly at the arm that was usually occupied by Toph's clinging hands.

"Sokka?"

He jerked his head up. "Yeah? Uh, what?"

"You know we're going to make it, right? We should be at the oasis where we heard about the library soon."

"Yeah, I know." Sokka furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Oh...I don't know," Katara said anxiously. "You just seemed kind of down."

"Of course he seems down!" Aang yelled from his position in the back, blowing gusts of wind. "Appa is gone."

Sokka scowled. "So is Toph, you know."

Aang either didn't hear or pretended not to, for he went back to blowing without another word. Katara, however, eyed her brother suspiciously.

"Hey..." she swallowed, placing a hand tentatively on his back, and took it as a sign that he didnt push it off. "Toph's going to be fine. I know it."

Sokka didn't look at her. "Yeah."

Katara bit her lip like she wanted to say more, but before she could the sand-sailer came to an abrupt halt, lurching her and Sokka and Aang forward. Ropes along across the glider and began pulling it closer and closer to the oasis, which, as Sokka looked up, was dead ahead.

"What are you doing in our land with a sand-sailer?" One of the men boomed. His companions scowled and flexed their muscles threateningly. 

Katara held up her hands in defense. "We found the boat abandoned in the desert. We're traveling with the Avatar -" she gestured to Aang and the leader's eyes widened "- our bison was stolen and we need to get to Ba Sing Se!"

One of the men stepped forward angrily. "You dare accuse our people of theft when you ride in on a stolen boat?"

The leader roughly pulled him back. "Quiet, Gashiun. No one is accusing anyone of anything. If what they say is true, we must treat them with hospitality."

"Sorry, Father," he muttered. He allowed Aang, Katara, and Sokka to get off the boat and rolled his eyes before driving the glider out of sight.

His father bowed them to the door or a tavern and Katara and Sokka went in, Aang dawdling behind. He had just placed his foot in the doorframe when he heard a familiar low rumble. He froze, unable to even turn around.

Luckily, Katara heard too. She poked her head out, an unbelieving expression on her face. "Is that...?"

"APPA!" Aang shouted joyfully, whipping his head around and immediately grabbing his glider to take to the skies, his grin widening when he realized that it was really and truly his bison. 

Sokka dated out the door after his sister, his face wide with shock. "Appa? And - and - and -?"

"Toph is on his back!" Katara squealed. "She's riding him! They're both okay!"

Appa roared with pleasure at the sight of Aang, nuzzling his head into his open arms. Toph had an un-Toph-like smile on her face when she realized where they were and who they were with. She eagerly felt around, trying to find her way off the saddle, having never done it herself before.

Sokka didn't know how or why but his legs where carrying him faster than they ever had before, he just had to get to Appa, he had to catch her before she fell. He reached the bison and held out his arms. "Toph! Toph, I'm here, you can fall!"

"Don't drop me, Meathead!" Came the reply. She climbed over the saddle and dropped into Sokka's waiting arms, nearly crushing him as her weight was too much. They both fell into the sand, laughing, hugging each other fiercely, and before Sokka even thought it through, before he remebered that Aang and Katara were watching, before he even had a chance to breathe, he kissed her full on the mouth. 

And she was kissing him back, surprised at first, but melting into it, wrapping her arms around his neck. He tangled his fingers through her hair and breathed in her scent, the sticky, sweaty, earthy smell that he had missed so, so much.

After what seemed like an eternity they broke apart, Sokka staring into her misty green eyes and Toph placing her sightless gaze on his crystal blue ones. She pressed her forehead against his lightly and he returned the gesture by putting his hands at the back of her neck.

"I missed you, Snoozles," she whispered.

"I missed you too," he whispered back. "So much."

"Don't get all mushy on me, or maybe I'll regret it," she laughed, and Sokka felt his heart soar at the sound. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, but Katara's giggle interrupted him.

"Well," she said, her hand at her mouth. Aang looked over, happier than he had been in days. "Happy to see Sokka, Toph?"

Sokka felt her face heating up as she pushed herself off of him, steadying herself on the sand. He hopped up and grabbed her hand, half to help her and half because he never planned to let go. 

"You picking up on that, Sugar Queen?" Toph teased. Katara's eyes welled up and she threw her arms around her, giving her a tight hug.

Aang came over with Appa, looking rather sheepish as he met Toph's gaze. Somehow her eyes seemed to bore into him, even in their uselessness, peering into his soul, sucking his unfaithfulness out of him. He leaned into her for a hug. "Thank you for bringing Appa," he whispered into her hair. 

She grinned and punched him playfully. "Of course, Twinkle Toes."

Sokka pulled her back into his arms, unsure if he would ever let her stray too far from him again. "Toph, what happened? We were at the library, and then it was sinking and you were gone -"

"And we didn't know what to do, we were stranded, and Sokka practically had a heart attack -"

"And Appa was gone too, so we were like 'What are we going to do?' and Katara was all 'We're going to survive!' and Sokka was like 'TOPH!' -"

"Those sandbenders," Toph growled. "They came back, they were strapping Appa to one of their boat things and I tried to stop them so they took me, too."

"WHAT?!" Sokka shouted in outrage. "They - they - they -" he broke off and stared at Toph like he had a sudden urge to make sure she was still alive. "What did they do to you?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just tied me to a glider and called me a blind bastard," she replied with a casual wave of her hand. "One of the guys was okay. I mean, he was still a thief, but he handled me all right."

"But - but - we were coming to save you!" 

She smirked and patted Sokka's hand that had laid to rest on her hip. "I saved myself."

Sokka and Aang laughed, and Aang patted Appa's side. "Do you guys mind if I just fly with Appa for a little bit?"

They nodded, and he smiled and climbed on top. "Appa, yip, yip!"

Katara, who had run to get the sandbender leader to tell him that they would no longer need to stay, returned just as they took to the skies, though she did not return alone. The leader's son was with her.

"Thanks again for the food and supplies," she said, and he smiled.

"No problem."

Toph's stomach gave a lurch. He was the muzzle man, the boss, the drunken man who did not remember her.

Sokka, sensing her unease, tightened his grip on her. "What's wrong?" He whispered. 

"Its him," she said, her breathing becoming shallow. "It's him."

"Him who?"

Toph shook her head. Muzzle man glanced at her as he turned to leave, then did a double take, his eyes wide, his jaw slack.

"I - huh - wha?" He spluttered.

"What's this ?" She retorted. "I thought you didn't remember me?"

"I - how -"

"Toph, do you know him?" Aang said, descending on Appa. The leader's son gawked at him in turn, staring at the bison he thought he had traded. Appa roared ferociously at the sight of his captor.

"Sure, we're old pals," Toph scoffed, clenching her fists. "I even remember the day we met. Oh, that's right, it was three days ago. When you kidnapped me!"

"You did WHAT?" Sokka yelled, as Aang shouted, "It was you?" and Katara said, "Are you sure?"

Toph was shaking with anger. "I never forget a voice. You said to put a muzzle on Appa, and you said, 'Get the girl, too!'"

Aang's tattoos were glowing; he was nearing the Avatar State, but before he could move Sokka was launching himself at Gashiun, kicking and pulling and brandishing his machete, not knowing what he was doing but knowing that he wanted to cause him as much pain as possible.

"HOW - DARE - YOU - LAY - A - SINGLE - FINGER - ON - HER -" He shrieked, his anger taking over. "HOW - DARE - YOU -"

"Sokka!" Katara screamed. "Sokka, don't hurt him!"

Even Aang's tattoos were fading, losing their glow as he left the Avatar State to watch Sokka attack with a bewildered expression. 

Toph looked shocked and a little confused. "What? What's going on?"

"Sokka's gone crazy," Katara muttered. She shoved her into Aang's arms and tried to pull her brother off of the sandbender, who looked like someone had shoved something nasty under his nose. She succeeded, though rather reluctantly, as Sokka was panting very heavily and had a look of hatred on his face. He spat at Gashiun's feet.

"Katara, let me go!"

"Can I trust you to stay still?"

"He kidnapped Toph - hurt her -"

Toph moved forward, letting her hand rest on Sokka's face. He immediately softened at her touch.

"Thank you," she said softly, and just for a moment her pale eyes shone with vulnerability. But she quickly shook her head and smirked. "But I said I could save myself."

Sokka sighed and eyed Katara, who let go of him sheepishly. He rolled his eyes and hugged Toph again, lacing his fingers into hers.

"Okay, now we really should get going," he said.

"What are we going to do, just leave him here?" Aang said, gesturing to Gashiun's limp figure.

"Eh. He'll be fine," Toph said with a wave of her hand. "Let's go to Ba Sing Boring all ready."

"Oh, yeah!" Sokka said. "We found out about this solar eclipse, and we decided that's the day we're going to invade the fire nation..."

And together they climbed aboard Appa, their hands still entwined without any sign of letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little longer than normal, but I hope you liked it!


	6. It's Going To Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph hits her head on a rock and forgets everything, including her boyfriend Sokka and the fact that she's six months pregnant.

The only thing she is absolutely sure of is that she isn't absolutely sure of anything anymore.

The ringing in her ears, so prominent the moment before, has receded back into her head. She sighs in relief, but has celebrated too soon; it's back, the roar of white noise that pounds through her skull, and just as suddenly as it came, it stops again. Then she understands. It is a tidal wave, in and out, loud and soft, side to side. She sways gently along with the wave. Her hand hits something hard.

She opens her eyes with a flourish, but everything is still dark. She blinks. Then blinks again. And again. Still the horizon is black. She leaps to her feet, panic bubbling inside of her. Why can't she see? Where has her sight gone?

She stumbles blindly about her surroundings, trying to calm herself down. Okay. She feels the soft, down grass beneath her feet and the cool, autumn breeze blow through her hair, which makes her feel slightly better. She takes a deep breath. Okay. She gets to her hands and knees hesitantly, trying to feel what her hand had knocked onto. She is tentative, going about the plants and rocks with a kind of dance that her fingers perform. Somehow it seems very familiar, and she has the strangest feeling that she'd been here before.

There. Her hand brushes upon a hard rock set into the ground. Something wet is coating the front of it, making its way onto her fingers. She brings them up to her nose, takes a sniff, and immediately recoils. Blood. Hot, sticky blood is on this rock. Something has happened here, and she feels a strange desire to find out what.

And like the roar in her ears, the pain in her head comes back in a hurry; not there one moment, there the next. She cant't stop it: she screams in agony, her hands frantically touching her head to find the source of the pain. She stumbles across a wet patch of hair and feels a gash in her forehead, just above her ear. Blood. The smell is cascading off of her, and it makes her retch. Blood. That is her blood on the rock, coating it in her filthy insides. She falls back onto the grass, still shrieking, but quieter now. Somehow the knowledge of what had happened on the rock makes her calmer. 

She sits back, leaning on her hands, evaluating the situation. Okay. She had fallen on the rock, bashing her head open. Yes, that makes sense. She glances around before remembering it wouldn't do her any good, and yet she can't be alone out here, can she? Surely someone had accompanied her out here to this place.

No sooner has she thought this than she hears someone shout something. A female, by the sound of it, and she is surprised to find that she is very confident about this fact. The voice shouts again, the same thing every time, like she is calling for someone. What is it she's saying? "Tough?" That couldn't be someone's name, who names their child Tough? And yet the girl keeps calling out, her voice getting nearer and nearer until suddenly there she is.

"Toph!" She says, relief flooding her voice. "Oh my Spirits, Toph, where have you been? We've been so worried, Sokka nearly had a heart attack when he realized you were gone, and I told him you'd just gone for a walk but thankfully Aang said that had been over an hour ago so he volunteered to go look for you and they told me to stay home, of course, but I told them that there was no way I was going to sit around and do nothing -"

On and on she goes. Is she supposed to know these people? Who is she talking about, this "Toph" person? She supposes it had to be her, since this girl obviously thinks she knew her, but wouldn't she remember her own name?

Fear courses through her veins. She can't remember her name. How silly, she chides herself, of course you know your name! It's....it's....it's...

"It's what, Toph?" The girl says, and she realizes she has been talking out loud. She scowls. 

"Look, I don't know who you think you've found, but I'm not Tough, okay? So why don't you take your little chatterbox show on the road and leave me be."

The girl shifts her weight, and she is surprised that she knows this. How can she know that, when she can't see anything? She doesn't have time to dwell on this before the girl starts speaking again.

"Toph, come on, I'm not in the mood for games. Is this the kind of stunt you pull on a tired pregnant lady?" She laughs, and she gives a start. That laugh. She knows that laugh. She doesn't know how she knows, but right then and there she comes to the conclusion that she has met this girl before.

"Do I know you?" She says curtly, directing her gaze to where the girl's words seem to be coming from. Boy, it's a real pain to not see anything.

The girl's laughter slows down like she's really taking a good look at her. "Of course, Toph, it's me, Katara!"

"Katara..." she says, feeling the name roll around in her mouth. She shrugs. "Nope, sorry. Doesn't ring a bell."

Again the girl shifts her weight, and again she wonders how she knows this. "I'm serious. Do you want to make me go into early labor?" She chuckles and reaches down to pat her stomach. She tries to recoil, but she is there too fast, and just as her hand makes contact with her skin she realizes just how tightly stretched it is. "Do you want to make yourself go into early labor?"

She inhales sharply. Katara's hand smoothes her shirt in a motherly fashion, and she becomes aware that her belly isn't flat. Oh, no, it's quite big, on the contrary. She's pregnant.

But how can that be? How can she be pregnant and not realize it? She supposes it just went on with every other shitty thing that's happening today. Can't remember her name, can't remember her family, can't remember the fact that she's pregnant - all in a day's work. Katara's hand leaves her stomach and she hears her find its mark what has to be her own round belly.

"Okay," she snarls, trying to avoid looking or touching herself in any way, which proves to be extremely difficult. "What's the deal? Is this some sort of joke? Who are you?"

Katara sounds annoyed now. "All right. It was a little funny in the beginning but I'm sick of it now. Stop fooling and tell me what happened." She hears her gasp, a sound that shocks her. Just like with her laugh, her intake of breath is familiar, and though it pains her to admit, she's right. She knows this girl. "Toph! What happened to your head?!"

Right. She's injured. Funny how she keeps forgetting that. "I'm fine," she mumbles, but no sooner has she said it than Katara's panicked voice ceases and she knows no more.

-

" - don't see why I of all people can't see her."

"She's not stable enough, how many times, Sokka?"

"You went in!"

"I'm a healer, I'm helping her!"

"So you're saying I wouldn't be able to help her."

"You know that's not what I - you know what, forget it, just go away and let me work."

"You can't make me go anywhere, I'm her boyfriend and I'm staying!"

Boyfriend? She has been stirring for a while now, since their voices had roused her from a fitful sleep, but that word wakes her once and for all. They have to be talking about her. But boyfriend? She doesn't have a boyfriend!

Then again, she doesn't remember being pregnant, and you would think that would be a pretty important thing to remember. Heck, she can't even remember her own name, although this Toph person is starting to sound familiar. 

"Does she even know you're referring to yourself as her boyfriend?"

A beat. "Yeah!"

"Then how come you're still Snoozles and Meathead to her?"

"Look, can I just see her?"

An exasperated sigh. "Fine. But make it quick, she got a nasty cut. She's lucky she didn't land on her stomach."

She hears the door open but makes no attempt to pretend she was asleep. She is curious about the people Katara had been talking about, what sort of lives they lead, how they intertwine with hers, if they even do.

"Katara, couldn't you have put some clothes on her?"

She gives a start and feels her naked body, her fingers dancing across her stomach. No clothes.

Katara's voice seems to come from far away, like she is distancing herself from the two of them. "She had blood all over herself, and it's not like you've never seen her naked before!"

"Katara!"

She can practically hear her shrug, and does hear her giggle. "What? It's true!"

The boy - Sock-ah? - growls, but it has a light touch. He isn't really mad, and that makes her think that he really has seen her naked before. Her mind racing, she considers what this means. Is he the father of her child? Is he, in fact, her boyfriend?

He sits down on her bed, making her realize that she is in one. Her feet are tucked under the covers, of course, but for some reason she finds this irritating and makes her slightly scared. She scoffs at herself. Scared of what? But all the same, she places her feet on the ground, taking care to keep the blanket tightly wrapped around her.

"Toph?" Sokka says hesitantly. "You awake?"

"Who are you?" She replies, not trying to sound haughty but having it come out that way anyway.

He sighs. "Katara told me you were playing some dumb game. Well, she didn't say that exactly, but, well, come on, Toph, aren't we a little old for this stuff?"

Her age. She mentally adds that to the list of things she doesn't know and raises one corner of her mouth. "A game, huh? That's what this is? The game of life?"

"Technically speaking." He sounds amused, and she has that now familiar unsettling feeling that she knows him from somewhere. She asks him again.

"You didn't answer my question. Who are you?"

She feels his concern grow. His heart rate increases just the slightest bit, and she can tell he is attempting to calm himself down, to try and deny it. Well. She can tell him a thing or two about denial.

"You really don't know me?" He asks. "But - but then -" he recoiled a bit. "Who are you?"

She crosses her arms. "I just asked you that same question."

His eyes narrow, something she can't see. "Toph. You're Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World?"

She laughs, and feels his heart leap at the sound. "Am I really? Well, I expected no less." Something else strikes her. "And that would explain why I can see, but I can't at the same time. Hey, did you know that I can't see?"

"Bu - wha - huh?" He sounds bewildered, and she hears the panic in his voice as he calls for the other girl.

"Katara? Katara, get in here, something's really wrong!"

She bustles in, and this time she feels two heartbeats enter the room. Ah, right. Katara is the pregnant one.

The other pregnant one, a voice in her head corrects her.

Shut up, she tells it.

"Toph!" She says joyfully, plopping herself down on the bed. "You're up! How do you feel?"

Sokka is apparently pacing the room, yet she can't feel his eyes leaving her. "I think she hit her head pretty hard, she doesn't seem to remember me at all!"

Katara frowns, and she feels something cool and wet pass over her injury. She would've protested if it didn't feel so good. "I don't understand, how could I have missed this?" She pulls the liquid away from her and turns to face Sokka. "She must have hit her head pretty hard. She has amnesia, she doesn't remember anything."

"Anything?" He cries unbelievably. "Anything at all?"

"I'm not sure." The liquid is pressed down onto her forehead again, and she has to work to keep from sighing in pleasure. "Okay, To - I mean, uh, you. Can you tell me your name?"

"Well, obviously it's Toph Be-something-or-other, as you people keep calling me that," she answers. 

"And...and who am I?" 

"You're Katara."

"What's my brother's name?"

At that she falters. Is Sokka her brother? Or is he just a friend? What will happen if she answers incorrectly? She decides to tell the truth. "I don't know."

Silence. She feels both of their hearts racing, trying to calm down, to figure things out. They appear to be having a quiet argument in which Katara loses, for she clears her throat and opens her mouth.

"Look, Sugar Queen, I already know that I don't know anything, all right?" She says before she can speak. Then she frowns at her choice of words. "Sugar Queen?"

Katara lets out a surprised sort of laugh. "Yes! Yes, that's right, that's what you call me, Sugar Queen!"

"Really? I do?" She asks, blinking. 

"Yeah, you're the queen of nicknames," Sokka says. "Do you remember what you called me?"

She shakes her head, then cocks it to the side. "For some reason the word 'Snoozles' is floating around in my head. Sound familiar?"

He sounds relieved. "That's me."

"Okay, okay, okay," Katara says hurriedly. "So you've got some memories left. Just a couple, though. You're not going to remember any if the big things, like -" her voice drops sadly "- us, but you'll probably start to remember smaller things, like your nicknames."

"Huh." Her voice is dry. "All right then."

"But...but when will she remember?" Sokka asks worriedly. "She will remember, right? Eventually?"

"I'm not sure," his sister says. "Most likely her memories will come back all at once, but there's no way to tell when that will be."

"So it could be in a few minutes?"

"I guess, but I doubt it. It'll probably take a few days, weeks maybe."

Sokka makes a sound like he wants to say something else but Katara shushes him and pushes him toward the door. "Okay, well, we'll let you get your rest now."

"But -"

"Rest," she says sternly to her brother. "I'll tell Zuko and Aang that you're okay, they're going to want to visit you. Sleep tight!"

She hears the door slam shut and the two of them bickering as they walk away, listening until she can no longer feel their heartbeats. Then she lays on her side, wondering who the hell Aang and Zuko are.

-

When she wakes up, she doesn't know where she is at first, which is understandable for anyone waking up in a strange bed. But for her, everything about it is strange. Strange sheets, strange pillow, strange smells.

Strange person sitting beside her, holding her hand.

She moves to jerk her hand, but his is so soft on hers, so tender, so familiar, that she can't bring herself to pull away. In fact, she feels so calm, so at peace, that she is about to drift back into sleep when he moves.

"Hey," he whispers. It's Sokka.

"Hey," she whispers back. It's all she knows what to say.

"Hey," he says again. Apparently it's all he knows what to say too. They're quiet for a while before he speaks.

"You didn't let go," he murmurs, fingering her hand in a way that sends shivers up her spine. "You hardly ever let me hold your hand."

She shifts in her sheets and shrugs. "Sorry, don't remember that."

His grip tightens on her hand for a moment. "So - so you really - you really don't remember me? You don't remember....us?"

"No," she says, using her free hand to feel her head. Katara had bandaged her after healing her. "I'm sorry."

She feels him tense at that, hears his soft laugh. "Now I know you're really busted. The Toph I know never apologized."

"So that's really me, then? Toph?"

He pauses, so she assumes he's nodding. "Yeah. Toph Beifong. That's you."

She considers this. "It's like I know her, but I don't. Like she's a friend I had when I was little but I haven't seen her in years. "

"Well, technically you'd never have seen her," he chuckles, and she manages a smile.

"I'm blind?"

"Yeah."

"Was I born blind?" 

"Uh-huh."

"Oh."

They're silent again, listening to the wind blow outside her room. A breeze rustles her hair and she realizes the window must be open, which brings a new question to her mind.

"Where are we?"

"Air Temple Island. At Aang and Katara's place."

"Right. And Aang is...?"

He sighs. "This must suck for you. Not knowing any of us, and -"

"I think it's worse for you guys, 'cause I don't know any of you and you all seem to know me and care about me," she interrupts.

"We do care about you, Toph," he says, his voice crumbling with sadness. "It's just hard knowing that you don't know us enough to care back."

She doesn't know what to say to that, so she's quiet, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"I care about you," he mumbles, squeezing her hand. "I care about you a lot."

She takes a deep breath and asks the question that's been on her mind since she discovered her round belly. "Are you the father?"

He hesitates, and she can sense his answer on the tip of his tongue. He's teetering on the edge of the answer, seeming to decide between two answers. She doesn't need her feet on the ground to feel his indecisiveness, which is good since they're tucked under the sheets again.

"Yes," he exhales, breathing the word, letting it become one with his heartbeat. "Yes, I am."

She closes her eyes, unsure how to respond. On one hand, she is glad that she has some sense of him, of his personality, and that it isn't Aang or Zuko, whom she has no recollection of. On the other hand, it's not like she knows him anyway. But in reality, in this situation, her memories gone, she has to admit this is the best possible option, so she smiles.

"Okay," she whispers.

"Is - is that all right?" He asks, and she hears the doubt in his voice, the worry, the panic. And though the very last thing she is right now is all right, she thinks that having him as the father of her child is something she can deal with for the time being.

She nods, and he instantly relaxes, letting out a puff of air that makes its way onto her face. She blushes - his breath is hot on her cheek.

He pats her hand, then pulls away contentedly. He moves to leave, but hesitates for a few seconds. 

"Something you wanted?" She asks dryly.

He pauses. "Is it okay - I mean, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable - it's fine if you don't -"

"Spit it out."

"It's just that - well, I used to feel the baby every night before we - before you went to sleep. But I totally get it if you don't want me to."

She sighs exasperatedly, playing with the strings on her blanket. If he's telling the truth and he is the father, then can she really deprive him of time with his child? Just because she doesn't want to feel it doesn't mean that he won't. Obviously this is something she allowed him to do previously, and she didn't see the harm in it, really. She bites her lip.

"All right," she says. "But just for a minute."

He smiles and moves to place his hand gently on her bulge, hovering above for only a moment before making contact with her tightly stretched skin.

It's as if an electric shock has passed through his agile fingers, through her stomach, and into her heart, which skips a few beats. Her breathing becomes very shallow very fast, having to gulp air to get a breath in. His skin is warm and tender on hers, beckoning her to feel, too. She blinks a few times, willing herself not to give in.

Finally he releases his hand and pulls it back from her stomach, causing her to sigh in relief and yet long for another touch. 

"Thanks," he says quietly, patting her hand once more before standing up. "I...guess I'll see you in the morning."

She nods and he leaves, and she's left with a tingling feeling creeping its way up her spine that has nothing to do with the draft blowing through her room.

-

She wakes up rather abruptly the next morning, opening her useless eyes with a start and kicking the blankets off of her. Her head is no longer pounding, so she takes that as a sign that she is healed. Surprisingly, when she places her feet on the cool stone floor, she can yet again feel the vibrations of things, can sense where things are. She supposes this is because, according to Sokka, she is an Earthbender and can use the Earth around her to "see." She makes a mental note to ask him later. For now she focuses on finding other people.

It doesn't take her long; she feels three heartbeats coming steadily from a room down the hall from hers, so off she goes. When she opens to door to the room and smells the food coming from a heated area to her left, she decides this must be the kitchen. She recognizes two of the heartbeats to be Katara and her unborn child, but the third is one she hasn't heard before.

Wait. Yes, she has. Kind of. She screws up her face in concentration. She has heard this heartbeat before, and yet it's so unfamiliar to her. How can that be?

Before she can confuse herself more the heartbeat notices her standing there and begins to walk toward her. "Toph! Good to see you!"

Another man. He comes over to her and tries to put his arms around her, but she shrugs him off with distaste. She can feel his confusion and hears Katara clear her throat. 

"She doesn't remember," she reminds him, sounding amused. "Toph, this is my husband, Aang. The Avatar."

"So you're the famous Aang everyone keeps talking about," she says, crossing her arms.

He sighs. "Man, this is so weird."

"Tell me about it."

"Sorry," he says, backing up a few steps. "I know it must be weird for you too."

"No kidding."

"Toph!" Katara cuts in, perhaps sensing danger. "Want some breakfast?"

"Sure," she says, sitting down at the table. "I'm starved."

"Okay, I'll get you something."

"No, you won't. I'll get it. The midwife says you shouldn't be exerting yourself too much," Aang says, as if his wife cooking was the most offensive thing that could happen. 

"I'm fine, Aang," she snaps back, and she gets the feeling that they've had this argument many times before. "I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

"Yes, of course, but I'm just saying that maybe you should go lie down. You're due next week."

"So what, now I can't even get a plate for my friend who doesn't remember me?" She says tightly. "I can manage."

Aang sighs, and she knows that Katara had won. "Yes, dear."

She snickers, and is struck by a sudden longing to have an argument about her due date with a husband she doesn't have. It just seems so... pure, so honest and innocent. It seems so simple that she can't help but want a taste. She places her hand on her belly and wonders if she'll ever get a chance at that.

"How far along am I?" She asks as Katara sets a plate of food down in front of her. 

She purses her lips, thinking. "About six months, I think? I was three months when you found out, so that sounds about right."

"Hm," she says, not really answering. She shovels food into her mouth with gusto. "So what am I doing here? Do I live here with you guys?"

"Kind of. You live in Ba Sing Se normally, but you're staying with us until your baby is born."

"Oh. How come?"

At that Katara pauses. She can feel her glance at Aang, who also seemed at a loss for words. Finally she turned back to her. "We don't really know for sure. You just sort of showed up one day and asked if you could stay with us for a while, and of course we said yes. Then, a few days in, you announced you were pregnant, so we assumed that's why you came."

She pushed back her chair, her appetite suddenly gone. "So you're saying I just showed up out of the blue? How long had it been since you'd seen me last?"

Katara grimaces. "Almost half a year."

She ponders this. "I'm a burden," she says quietly. "If you want me to leave, now's your chance, you can kick me out before I get the chance to know you enough to hate you for it."

"Toph, how can you say that?" Katara says, emotion seeping into her words. "Of course you're not a burden, we love you."

She has to refrain from visibly recoiling, because she knows she means well. It's just strange hearing someone you barely know saying that they love you. She must not be hiding it very well, for Aang speaks up.

"Sweetie, maybe we shouldn't talk like that around her for now," he says hesitantly. "It'll only confuse her and make her worse."

Katara snarls. "If anything we should tell her that more, so that she'll start to remember!"

"Okay, okay, don't get too upset -"

"Doesn't it hurt that she doesn't remember you? Don't you want her back?"

"Of course I do! I'm just saying that maybe -"

"'Maybe' isn't good enough right now, Aang! Right now she needs straight answers and kindness and love, okay? She needs to hear that we love her!"

Aang shrinks back. "You're right, Katara," he says meekly. Katara scoffs and stalks away. She wonders how often they fight.

He answers her question without hearing it. "She's not usually like this. It's just her -" he cuts off and whispers "- hormones."

"It is NOT my HORMONES!" Katara shouted from the other room, and Aang pales and she laughs. 

"Of course, honey!" He calls back, but he mouths, "Hormones!" To her. He then straightens up and faces her. "Okay, she's gone. Now you can tell me the truth."

"I split my head open on a rock and your wife came and found me. What's to tell?"

"Come on." He slides closer to her and speaks in a hushed tone that implies he had gossip. "I'm talking about Sokka coming back here in the middle of the night and sneaking into your room."

She furrows her brow. "What do you mean, he snuck into my room? Doesn't he live here too?"

"You really don't remember, huh?" He sighs. "No, Sokka doesn't live on Air Temple Island, though he's been making a lot of trips back here since you got kno- I mean, since you announced your pregnancy."

She laughs. "You can say knocked up, I don't care. And if he doesn't live here then where does he live?"

"He lives in Republic City, it's not too far from here." He narrows his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know so bad?"

"Isn't he the father of my child? That's what he told me last night."

At the word "father" Aang nearly spits out his drink. He swallows and grasps her hands in excitement, and to her surprise she does not find this disgusting, and that familiar feeling comes flooding back to her. He'd done this to her before.

"So it's true? He is the father?" He asks ecstatically. "I mean, I suspected, but I wasn't really sure."

"I'm not either. He told me he was, but he seemed like he was debating between two answers."

"Well, couldn't you tell if he was lying?" He says surprisingly.

"I dunno. Can I?" She asks warily. She's learning not to assume anything anymore, and is rewarded when Aang nods vigorously. 

"Yeah, you can use your Earthbending to feel the vibrations coming from them to see if they're telling the truth," he explains patiently like she is a child and he is the teacher. "You're like a human lie detector, came in handy when we were busy saving the world."

"I saved the world?" she says with interest, but quickly deflates. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

He shrugs. "If you insist. But anyway, was he telling the truth?"

"I don't know. I don't think I realized that I could do that until five seconds ago, and anyway my feet weren't on the ground," she tells him, and he looks disappointed. 

"Darn." He taps his fingers on the table. "He's gotta be. Why would he tell you otherwise?"

She nods, but inside she's not so sure. Something about his answer is making her question it, and she has a feeling that she's usually right. 

-

She is sitting outside Aang and Katara's house two days later with her eyes closed, letting the breeze ruffle her hair, when he comes out. She heard the door bang shut, can sense his feet moving toward her, and yet his presence surprises her.

He says nothing, just sits down next to her. His head tilts back slightly, and waves of calm are pouring off of him. His hand makes a jerking motion next to hers, and she smirks. 

"Come on, you coward, just hold it already," she says, and he jumps.

"That obvious, huh?" He mutters sheepishly, but takes her hand all the same. It puts a smile on her face.

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something with me," he says.

"Like what?"

"Nothing major, just something we normally -" his voice cracks "- something we used to do."

"Depends, but I'm all ears. Shoot."

She can feel his excitement rippling through the ground. This must be good.

"Okay, follow me," he says, rising and pulling her up with him. She clutches her stomach with her free hand as a dizziness spell comes over her. 

"Where are we going?" She gasps, gripping his hand tightly. He squeezes it comfortingly.

"You'll see."

She supposes he must be silently thanking the Spirits that she's already blind so that he doesn't need to put a blindfold on her, for as she finds out two minutes into their walk he is a horrible guide.

"Okay, to the left now - no left, Toph - LEFT! - Oh, wait, that's my left and your right, wait, hold on, okay, now there's a rock here - yep, right there - no, there! AUGH! Now I stepped on it!"

"You know I can feel where I'm going, right?"

He ignores this. "Just follow the sound of my voice!"

"It's pretty hard to miss," she says, and as she says it a funny feeling comes over her. He must feel it too, because he stops abruptly. 

"Do you remember?" He asks suddenly. "Do you remember saying that to me?"

She is about to shake her head because no, she doesn't, but just as she moves to open her mouth out tumbles the word, "Yes!"

"Really?" He says in a voice that implies he's thrilled but is trying not to get his hopes up. "When was it?"

"I - I -" she tries to remember, but the only thing she can recall is a disconnected roar. A dragon? "Was there a dragon?"

Sokka laughs in a relived sort of way. "Kind of! Serpent's Pass, do you remember Serpent's Pass?"

She strains her mind. Ice. Thin pieces of land. Mistaken identity. Witnessing a kiss...

"No!" She shouts, then blinks. "Wait. What?"

"I don't know," he says. "What did you remember?"

Her mind is racing. They were going to Ba Sing Se. Appa - who's Appa? - was missing, so they'd had to take a detour. A giant sea serpent. An icy path, formed by Katara. Following the sound of Sokka's voice. Sinking beneath the cold waves. Suki - who's Suki? - saving her. Her kissing her wet cheek, believing her rescuer to be Sokka. Her intense embarrassment when it wasn't. Sneaking out of camp that night, only to stumble open Sokka's lips pressed against Suki's. The lurch her stomach gave as she cried her heart out, running away as fast as she could.

"Nothing," she says shakily. "Nothing. I - let's just go, where are we going?"

She can feel his confusion but apparently he decides not to push it. "Um...it's not far now, just over this hill here, and..." he puts his hand on her shoulder and turns her around. "Here we are."

There is a different breeze here, more salty and moist. There is more water in this air, no grass under her feet. She twitches her foots lightly, then sinks into the sand that crunches in between her toes. She gasps and grips Sokka's arm tighter.

"Where are we?" She asks, amazed.

He smiles at her exciment. "There's a small beach close to Aang and Katara's house, and I've been teaching you to swim."

She swings around, a smirk on her face. "You have? Am I good?"

He laughs. "Well, you were getting there. We were just at the point where you could let go of my arm, but I still had to be there." His hand hovers above the strap of her shirt. "Ah...I'll just - wait over here, then."

She feels a blush creep across her cheeks but simply nods and begins undressing once she can no longer hear his footsteps. For some reason her earthbending doesn't work on sand.

When she's stripped down to her muddy brown undershirt and taupe shorts, she calls out, "Okay!" And Sokka bounds over to her. She hears him suck in a breath.

"Wow. I know it doesn't matter, but..." he shakes his head like he can't believe he's in her presence. "You're beautiful."

She purses her lips, determinedly directing her gaze at the ground, trying desperately not to admit how much she likes that compliment. "Come on, show me how to not drown."

"All right," he says, and she can tell that he's disappointed he didn't get more of a reaction. She wonders what she usually says to things like that. "Here, hold my hand, and we'll walk slowly into the water."

She gripped his arm and followed his lead, into the warm water that lapped at her ankles, then her knees, then her waist, then her chest.

"Sokka?" She says, a drop of fear rippling across the word. "How tall am I?"

"Uh, 5'2? 5'3 at the max," he says causally. "Okay, now here's the part where I can touch and you can't. I'm going to let go of you, and you just paddle your arms and kick your legs and try to stay afloat. Ready?"

"Um -"

"Go!"

He releases his grip on her and she frantically begins kicking both her legs at the same time, causing her to sink immediately. With amazing reflex he snatches her up from the depths and she coughs and splutters, her bangs clinging to her face in an almost seductive way. He fights back a smile.

"Don't - DO - that!" She manages between coughs, and that brings him back to the present. 

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. "Guess you've forgotten how far we'd gotten previously."

"You picking up on that?" She snaps, pushing her hair back out of her face. "Let's just keep going, I'm fine. What now?"

"Okay...we could try you holding onto my shoulders and you kicking from that angle..." 

Obiedently she transfers her arms from his front to his back, but it's obvious that she cannot hold on properly with her pregnant stomach in the way. He sighs and helps her back to his front.

"All right, that didn't work," he says thoughtfully. "I guess we'll just keep going from here. This time I want you to kick your legs in a circular motion, kind of like running?"

"Okay," she says doubtfully. She dips her head into the water first and smooths back the hairs clinging stubbornly to her face. Then she takes a deep breath and begins to kick in an awkward fashion. 

After about half an hour of this, she becomes aware of his eyes on her. She doesn't know how she knows, exactly, but there's a crawling feeling across her spine that suggests someone is watching her. It's not necessarily a bad feeling.

"Why don't you paint a picture, it'll last longer," she teases, and he jumps, resulting in her splashing quietly in the water.

"How could you tell?" He asks, embarrassment creeping into his voice. 

She shrugs. "I dunno. It felt like you were."

"You never cease to amaze me," he says so adoringly, so affectionately, that a question rises in her body and bursts out of her mouth.

"Are you my boyfriend?" 

He seems taken aback and yet unsurprised by her abruptness, and cocks his head to the side. "Spirits, I'd forgotten how blunt you could be."

"It's a yes or no question, Snoozles."

"Actually, it's a lot more complicated than that," he says, and she can sense months, maybe even years worth of longing behind his voice. "Let's just say that it took me a long time to gain your love, and I'm still trying to secure it."

She's quiet for a moment, letting that sink in. She tries to remember the conversation she'd overheard the day she'd lost her memories. Had he said he was her boyfriend then? She thinks so, but hadn't Katara shut him down for some reason? She strains her mind but nothing resurfaces, and she instead decides to accept his strange answer. "I see."

His eyes train hard on her once more like she hasn't said anything, and she can feel them travel up and down her body, pausing at her swollen stomach and pale face, now flushed with small pink latches on either cheek. She's only vaguely aware of him wading them back to the shore, only vaguely aware of him lifting her chin up, only vaguely aware of the fact that their lips have just brushed each other.

Her first thought is that she had muscle memory of his lips. Her mind may have no recollection of him or their relationship, but she can say with certainty that they've been locked in this moment before. Maybe even in this place. 

She closes her sightless eyes and stands on her tiptoes, angling her head so they can kiss better. His nose bumps gently on her forehead. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he gently picks her up off the ground, swaying with the wind, keeping their lips on each other. 

After an eternity they break apart, both hearts flooded with love and sadness and frustration and passion. His breath his hot on her cheek, smelling of salt and ocean and all the good things in the world, and oh, he smells so familiar, he's so on-the-tip-of-her-tongue familiar it hurts.

"Toph," He says hoarsely, his voice full of vulnerability and innocence. He says her name like a statement, but his tone suggests anything but. It's a question, a desire, a plead for more.

She nods and smiles under his lips as he bends to kiss her again.

-

The next few days are the best out of her life - that she can remember, anyway. She wakes up to Katara and Aang in the kitchen, Aang getting more and more anxious with each passing hour that his wife would go into labor, and Katara growing more and more annoyed that her husband would force her into it through nagging. She enjoys their little fights, half because they're funny and half because it gives her hope that someday she could have the same thing.

When the bickering has ceased for the morning, there's a knock on the door and Sokka walks in, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek and a pat on her stomach. Katara scolds her brother for trekking mud into the house, and Aang tries to get him on his side, to which Sokka responds with, "I don't like to disagree with Katara," and then directs her out of the house for their swimming lesson.

They then spend a few hours down at the swimming hole. She's actually getting better, but she still is rewarded at the end of each lesson with a kiss. Then they're back up to the house, with Aang and Katara and dinner, and then Sokka departs for the night with a container of leftovers and a fresh lipstick mark from his sister on his cheek and from her on his lips. She watches him leave, then listens to the couple argue over where Katara should sleep that night and falls asleep with a smile on her face.

A week after she found herself without any memories, her routine is disrupted by the arrival of two visitors, who, like everything else in her strange world, seem vaguely familiar to her.

"Sorry we're late!" One of them says breathlessly. There is a shuffle of taking off jackets and shoes and working around each other, and during that time a hand brushes her side. She joltes forward. It's a female, a very familiar female. Suki.

"Kya woke up with a cold the say we were supposed to leave so we thought we should wait a couple days," a man explains. She gives another start. He, too, is familiar, but she can't pinpoint his name.

"Oh, how is she?" Katara asks.

"She's fine. All the kids are outside playing with the bison."

"Great." Aang claps him on the back and she hears his footsteps move to the door. "I'll go say hi."

Once he's gone, Suki moves closer to Katara. "You look beautiful, Katara! How much longer till the baby comes?"

"Oh, a few days yet," she says modestly, patting her bulge. "Thanks."

"Toph!" Suki says gleefully, like she hasn't seen her in years. Which, she muses, might be true. "How are you? Oh my Spirits, you look great, too! I don't know how you guys do it, I felt a mess when I was pregnant with Izumi!"

She knows she must have a confused look on her face, for Suki falters. "Uh, Toph? Something wrong?"

"Nothing!" She says, narrowing her eyes at Katara. "Who's Izumi? Who's Kya? And who's this dude?"

The man gives a dark chuckle. "What's this, Toph, some stupid game? Aren't we a little old for games?"

"Ha! That's funny, Zuko!" Katara laughs awkwardly, and she feels a sensation in her stomach. Zuko. She knows that name. "So, um, there's no easy way to put this, so here it is: while you guys were gone, Toph kind of smashed her head and lost all her memories of us."

The silence that follows is the kind that appears after someone tells a bad joke. It's a quiet silence, a questioning silence, a did-I-hear-you-right silence. She can almost hear the blinks, can almost see the confused faces.

"I'm sorry," Zuko says. "What did you just say?"

Katara sighs. "I'm kind of getting tired of explaining it."

"Well, sorry we weren't here when it happened."

"Yeah, you weren't. You were supposed to be, though."

"So it's my fault your kid got sick?"

"Maybe it is! What were you doing with her?"

"Guys, guys, don't do this now," Suki intervenes, and from her tired tone she can tell that Aang isn't the only one Katara's argued with over the course of her pregnancy. 

They're quiet for a moment before Katara says, "Sorry," and Zuko grunts in reply.

"So what happened exactly?" He asks, coming closer to Suki and placing his hand on the small of her back. She can feel her heartbeat increase at his touch.

"Well, she went out for a walk - said she needed to clear her head, but an hour later she hadn't come back so I said I'd go look for her -"

"Bet Aang took that well," Zuko mutters, and Katara glares at him before continuing.

"- and so I was looking and finally I found her, and she'd hit her head on a rock, there was blood everywhere and she didn't know who I was. Then she passed out so I water bent her up to the house and inside. She had no idea who we were or who she was, but she's been making progress." She glanced at her, and she could feel her eyes glazing over at the sight of her. "Come here, Toph. Tell them what you know."

She did as she was told, walking over to Katara with her arms crossed and facing Zuko and Suki.

"I know that you guys are Zuko and Suki," she says curtly. "But I only knew Zuko because Sugar Queen here said his name."

"So you remembered Suki?" Katara asks excitedly, and she can sense Suki's pulse heighten in anticipation. Well. There is no way she will be telling them about her memory at Serpent's Pass, so she shakes her head. 

"No," she says, and only feels a bit of regret when she feels both Katara's and Suki's heart rates drop. "You said her name too."

"Right." Katara frowns. "Well, what else do you know about them? Do you remember anything?"

She curls her toes into the stone floor and strains her memory. Fire. A lot of fire, burning the edges of her mind and coiling around her and her friends. And then the fire is gone; extinguished, vanishing forever as though a flood had wiped it out. It is replaced by not a memory but a feeling. An emotion. Acceptance, and love. She voices her thoughts. 

"Yes, that's right, Zuko is a firebender!" Suki exclaims, clutching his arm. "Do you remember how he burned down my village?"

"Spirits, Suki," he groans. "Are you ever going to let that go?"

She laughs in a girlish way and swats him playfully. "Never." She turns to her and explains. "My husband is the Fire Lord."

"How long have you guys been married?" She asks.

"Almost eight years," Zuko answers. "Do you remember the wedding? You were in it, we had to beg you to put on a dress."

She laughs, picturing herself in a dress. Katara had already told her that she often wore a nice coating of dirt instead. "No. But I wish I did."

The door opens and slams shut, and she hears Sokka's voice calling out greetings. Someone's hand slaps Zuko, for he grunts, but it must be with pleasure because he returns to slap with an embrace.

"Good to see you," Sokka's voice says to her right. "How long has it been?"

"Too long," Suki says, and she hugs Sokka too, but it seems slightly different than the hug he gave Zuko. Less actual hugging, more about appearances. She ponders this as Sokka comes over to her and pecks her on the lips.

"Zuko, can you come help me with my ship? There's a couple parts below deck that need melding, and I could pay someone, but -"

"But you'd rather have your unsuspecting friend do it for free?" Zuko finishes, shaking his head.

"Please?" Sokka begs, and there's a plunk as he lands on his knees in front of him and thrusts out his hands comically. "I'll never ask you for another favor ever again!"

"That's what you said three favors ago," he sighs, but allows Sokka to drag him outside, and she can feel him trying to surprises a smile. "Guess I've been convinced. See you guys later."

"Later!" Suki promises, and kisses him on the cheek before he's gone. She then turns to her and Katara. "Well! What should we do? Katara, Toph, you guys need anything?"

"What I need," Katara grunts as she struggles to lift herself off her chair, "is to see what's taking Aang so long with my other children."

She laughs, then her words comprehend. "Wait. You have other kids?"

"Oh, damn. I keep forgetting."

"Tell me about it," she replies dryly, and Katara winces.

"Sorry. But yeah, I do. Bumi is six and Kya is three."

"Oh, so Izumi...?" She trails off, directing her gaze to where Suki is standing, and she nods.

"Mine," she clarifies. "She's my only one."

She pauses, thinking this through. "So where are they?"

"They're -" she stops and laughs. "There they are!"

"What?" She says, but the last syllable has barely left her mouth when three small, very fast heartbeats barrel toward her and knock her over, screaming with delight about "Aunt Toph! Aunt Toph!"

They crowd around her, talking over each other and their voices growing louder and louder. She would be annoyed if she wasn't laughing so hard. They begin using her as a jungle gym, peeking under her arms and playing with her hair. Izumi retreats and whispers to her mother, who pats her shoulder and directs her in the house.

"Woah, guys," she says as Kya wraps her arms around her neck. "Aunt Toph is preggers, remember that."

Buni pops his head over her shoulder at his mother. "What's preggers, Mama?"

"It means Aunt Toph is going to have a baby," Katara explains. "Like Mama. Remember, I told you about that."

Kya topples over her shoulders, and, fearing for her stomach's survival, she quickly earthbends a landing for her, to the little girl's delight. "Again, again, again!" She squeals.

She grins and tosses her around gently for a while, before Bumi makes her stop, demanding that it's his turn and that Kya gets everything. So she begins bouncing both of them around while Katara watches, patting her stomach and smiling serenely. She can feel her eyes on her.

"What?" She says defensively, lifting Kya into the air on her rock.

Katara shrugs. "Nothing. Just that you're going to make a great mother, you know that?"

"Huh." She smiles. Smiles have come more easily to her these past few days. "Thanks." She returns to bouncing the children when another thought comes to her. She hesitates. Does Katara know? Aang has seemed surprised. But this is his sister. She decides to take the chance.

"Sokka's going to be a great dad, too."

"I think it's so sweet how he's going to help you," she says causally. She can feel her heart racing as she prepares for her next statement."Have you... do you remember him at all?"

"Remember who? Sokka? Of course I do, I've spent the last week in his company."

"No, no, not Sokka." She leans closer. "Kanto."

Now she's confused. "Who's Kanto?"

"I'm sorry. I thought you'd remember. Then again, I suppose not, all things considered..." She pauses, and her voice takes on a gossipy tone. "He's the father."

For a long time, her brain is silent in denial. Katara's words bear into her soul, tearing and ripping and shredding in a way she hadn't thought possible.

He's the father.

She feels her eyes crossing, feels the ground sway below her hands, her ever steady hands, her sturdy hands that she uses for everything.

He's the father. 

Her mind is swirling, thoughts and numbers rotating and circling so fast it hurts and it hurts and it hurts so bad and so good and she doesn't know what she's saying or thinking or doing - 

He's the father.

And her memories are back, they've returned. She falls back onto the grass as thought after thought after thought after thought floods her brain, gushing in and spiralling down, down, down, down. The grunts of Kya and Bumi falling from their stones comes from very far away. Everyone and everything reappears like someone has taken a lever and switched it up. She knows everything she's ever known about everyone she's ever met.

And Katara is right.

Sokka is not the father.

"Toph?" Katara's voice is cloudy and misty, like she's in a dream. "Toph, are you okay?"

She blinks a few times, and her head clears. Her heart doesn't. "Katara?"

"I'm here, I'm right here," she says, and she finds her arm. She clutches it like a lifeline. 

"I remember," she whispers, holding her tight and pulling her in. She has to know, she must understand. "I remember everything...everything... Katara..."

"I know," She says, stroking her arm affectionately. "It must be a lot to take in all at once. Do you want me to look you over?"

"It's not that." She sits up, anger suddenly coursing through her veins. "It's him. He lied. To me. He LIED TO ME!"

"What? Who lied?"

"Your brother," she spits. Her legs are rising without a command, her hands clenching into fists without direction. "Your brother lied. He told me that he was the father! He looked me in the face and LIED!"

"He told you that HE was the father?" Katara splutters. "I - but - Sokka -"

"Sokka." Her voice is dark and thick and so unlike her own. "When I get ahold of him I swear I'll -"

"Wait."

"Katara, the last thing I'm going to do is wait."

"No." She gets to her feet and grasps Toph's hand. "I meant wait for me. I'm coming with you."

She is about to argue, but she can feel Katara's determination, her fury, running almost as deep as her own. She can sense her shallow breathing, her narrowed eyes, her furrowed brow. She can tell that she is telling the truth. And so she squeezes back.

"Let's go kick his ass."

-

Sokka turns his head. "A little to the left!"

Zuko changes the direction of his firebending. "How's this?"

"Better!"

They continue working in silence, the only sound the charring of the metal on the ship, when Zuko blinks and cocks his head. "What's that?"

Sokka strains his ears but doesn't hear anything. "I dunno. Keep bending."

He nods and returns to the job, but a minute later he pauses again. "It sounds like someone's calling you."

"I'm telling you I don't hear anything."

"And I'm telling you I do - there it is again!" Zuko drops his hands to his sides. "They sound mad."

"I still - AUGH!" 

The ship rumbles and the water sloshes it from side to side, causing Sokka and Zuko to topple over.

"What the hell?"

Sokka grunts. "Get off me, man, I'm taken."

"By who?" Zuko scoffs as he sets himself upright. "Toph? Come to think of it, isn't that her calling you? What'd you do this time?"

"Nothing, I..." He pales.

"What? What is it?"

"Um..." he swallows and glances around. The ship has stilled, but the silence is deafening, like another attack is coming soon. "Listen, if I tell you, you have to swear you won't get mad."

Zuko smirks. "I married the woman whose village I burnt to the ground, it takes a lot to make me mad."

"Okay." He takes a breath. "I told Toph that she was pregnant with my kid."

"WHAT?!"

"Dude - shush!" He whispers, clamping his hand over Zuko's mouth. "Look, it was dumb, I know, I know, and now I don't know what to do about it!"

"You guys are already together, you were going to help her raise the kid anyway, it's basically yours!" Zuko says, massaging his throat. "I just don't see why you had to tell her that."

"It was stupid, I know!" He says, throwing his hands up in frustration. "I just...she was so beautiful and she was letting me hold her hand and she didn't remember and she asked me and I panicked and now here we are."

"And now here I am."

Sokka and Zuko swirl around to see Toph standing on the landing of the boat, her hands on her hips, her lips in a snarl, and her eyes full of fury. Katara is on the ground behind her, taking a similar stance, glaring at her brother.

"Toph!" He says nervously, wringing his hands. "Uh - hey, what's up?"

"I'll tell you what's up, jerk," she hisses, stepping closer. "What's UP is that you're doing DOWN."

"Um." Zuko looked uncomfortable. "I'll leave you guys to it, then." He dashes down to Katara and they have a quiet argument before both of them walk away, Katara somewhat reluctantly leaving Toph and Sokka standing six feet apart on the ship.

"Listen, Toph," he mumbles. "I'm - uh, I'm assuming you got your memories back."

"You think?" She says, narrowing her eyes. "I don't know what you think you're playing at here, but if you think you can take advantage of me like that you've got another thing coming!"

"I know!" He cries, exasperated. "I know, I know, I know! I know it was stupid, but you gotta understand, Toph, that I'm in love with you! I am, I really am! And I saw a chance to make the baby mine, biologically mine, and I wasn't thinking straight, and I took it! I took it, I did, and it was wrong, but - but - I'm sorry!"

"You think sorry can save you now?" She sneers. "You think you can just tell me you love me and I'll forget this whole thing? You lied to me, Snoozles! You lied straight to my face!"

"I did. I don't deny it. But I am sorry, I'm so, so sorry, you have to believe me, Toph!"

She shifts her weight, her expression softening and hardening at the same time, and he knows that she has sensed his feelings, has seen that he is telling the truth. And he knows that she doesn't like it, but she pauses. That's enough for him to keep going.

"I love you, Toph. I know I made a mistake, and I will never stop regretting it. But I'm not going to hurt you, I swear. I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you. I want to get in loud, ridiculous fights in my sister's house about things that don't matter. I want to kiss you every single day. I want to laugh with you and cry with you and live my life with you. I want to look into your children's eyes and see you, and maybe, someday down the road, to see me in them, too. I know that this baby isn't mine. And I know that I can't make it mine. But I can make sure that it's loved and appreciated and had a father figure, and I'll never stop caring for it until the day I die. I look to the future and I see that kid, I see you, I see us. I see us, Toph, and I want you to know that."

She's breathing very heavily, her chest heaving up and down above her stomach that held her child. She has tears in her eyes, and that's how he knows that he's won.

Toph never cries.

She sniffs, and that's the only sound for a while, other than his shallow breaths, in and out, watching her carefully, seeing how she'll react.

She reaches up to her nose and wipes it, then lifts her head so that it's level with his. Her useless eyes are red to the brim, and her pale cheeks are flushed with color.

"What do you say, Toph?" He whispers, opening his arms. 

She doesn't hesitate to fling herself into them, tears streaming down her face. He holds on to her tight, swinging her back and forth as though he'll never ever let go. Ever.

He finally sets her down, pushing her bangs back from her face, but she immediately pulls his face down to hers and kisses him, so tenderly and so yearning, so softly and so roughly, so familiar and so alien. He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her, sinking into the kiss with earnest.

They break apart, their eyes shining, Toph's with tears, Sokka's with happiness. They stare at each other for a moment before she begins whacking him on the leg.

"OW! Hey - what the -?"

"Don't - EVER - do - something - like - this - EVER - AGAIN - YOU - BASTARD - YOU'RE - LUCKY - I - LOVE - YOU!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" He says hurriedly before she can hit him again. "I know, I'm sorry!"

"Good." She stops abruptly and laces her fingers into his. "Let's go, before I change my mind."

He exhales and doesn't argue when she leads him down out of the ship and through the grass and toward the house.

Toward their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm super proud of this one shot actually, spent a week writing it. Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Dear Sokka, Love Toph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph and Sokka began exchanging letters when they were young and it carried on into their lives about everything they've experienced together.

Dear Snoozles,

I can't believe I'm actually doing this. When you offered to teach me how to write, I'll admit that I didn't want to learn. Half because I didn't want to admit that it would be hard and half because I just didn't see the point. And then, when you pointed out that I could write you letters, well. I know I laughed then, but my heart was racing inside. Could I really send you a letter? It's more than talking. It's putting my heart and soul onto a piece of paper for everyone to see. I guess that's really why I didn't want to learn.

But you insisted, and so here I am, three years after our first lesson, writing you a letter. And here are words I'd never thought I'd know how to write: My name is Toph Beifong, age twenty. 

There's a sort of comfort in knowing that I can write my name. It's like, now I know that I can do more things more myself. I can function even more in my own life. You know that I don't like having things done for me, that I'd rather just do it myself when I can. In fact, I'd say you know me better than anyone. 

Better than my stupid parents, that's for sure. They didn't think that I could learn anything, they shut me up and made me look pretty without thinking that I could actually accomplish something. And yeah, Katara had to go over this letter to make sure that I did everything right. But I wrote it myself, this was my hand that made the ink go across the paper. So I guess that's another thing I have you to thank for.

You better write back, Meathead.

Toph Beifong 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph Beifong, 

First of all, why do you keep writing your last name? I know who you are, dingus. And no, it's not your full name, because your full name would be "Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World." Katara, if you're reading this to her, don't you dare skip that part. It's very important. 

Since we're doing formal introductions, here's mine: Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, age twenty three. Nice to meet you.

In all seriousness, though, I'm proud of you. You took something you'd been told your whole life you couldn't do, and you did it anyway. That's brave, Toph. And I know you've been braver in many other ways, but I think this might be the most important. Especially since you barely let me help you, which further proves that you did it on your own. So I suppose congratulations is in order.

I'm very proud of myself for writing back.

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Meathead,

Thanks. 

Savor that, cause you probably won't be hearing it again for long time. Maybe not ever. 

Even though you didn't ask, I'm doing fine. It's boring here in Republic City with only The Couple to keep me company. Why'd you leave me, Snoozles? I have no one to laugh with when they embarrass me with their public displays of affection. 

(Katara's going to beat me when she reads this. My goal is to make sure I can get better so that I can send it on my own).

Speaking of which, I'm sure you got the invite already, but I'm telling you about it anyway. Save the date for the wedding of the Avatar and your lovely sister, aka my captor. She asked me to be maid of honor. Me, a bridesmaid! She actually wants me to wear a dress and bathe. Well. She has another thing coming if she thinks I can be taken down that easily. At least she promised me it'll be green.

I'll fight to the death, but I have a feeling she's going to win. She always does. Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here in their house figuring out what to do with my life.

Smell you later, 

Toph Beifong 

P.S. For your information, I write my last name because I like that I actually can. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World, 

There. That's how I'm addressing all your letters from now on. We're making this a regular thing, right? We should. I miss you too.

Ah yes, The Couple is at it again? I did get the invitation already, but it was nice to hear it from your point of view. You always make it better somehow. Aang wants me to be his best man, so I guess we'll have to suffer through it together, huh? At least Zuko and Suki will be in it too. Zuko's not too happy about it, seeing as he's busy, but Katara made him promise. You should've been there! She never ceases to amaze me with her violently persuasive qualities.

No, I didn't ask, and I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. But I'll tell you how I am, since you didn't ask either. I'm doing all right here on Kyoshi Island. I wish you could see me in my makeup, Suki says I look ridiculous. You know, I wish you could see, period. But that's a rant for another day. All the warriors are really nice to me, even Ty Lee. She says my aura has "blackened recently"? No idea what that means, but knowing her I'll find out soon.

Wishing for a pinker aura,

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Snoozles, 

Wow. I've wished I could see before, but now I do for the sole purpose of seeing you decked out in makeup. Should I start calling you Princess, Your Majesty? Princess Sokka with a Blackened Aura?

How is Suki, anyway? Last I heard you guys were off again, but I guess you're back on? Katara says that you're "undecided" and mutters under her breath whenever I bring you guys up, so obviously I do it as often as possible. She's all antsy because the wedding is in two weeks. Speaking of which, when are you coming? I don't know if I can take any more of being her only solace, and Aang is no help. He just kisses her and makes me want to shield my feet.

Also about Katara: I finally got her to back off when I'm writing these letters, so when you read this you can feel better about the fact that it is Katara - free. Can I get a hallelujah?

Zuko's here already, Aang made him come early. He says he can't do his Fire Lord stuff from here on Air Temple Island, but I told him to deal cause I have to too and now whenever I enter the room he stiffens. I'm enjoying it. But basically the gang's all here except for you two. Get your asses over here before I go crazy.

Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Toph,

Can't write much now. Suki and I were supposed to leave today but we just got into a huge fight and I don't know if I'm going to make it. Tell Katara I'm sorry.

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Meathead,

Wow. Just wow.

I knew you and Suki were having problems but I didn't think you'd get in a screaming match in the middle of your sister's wedding reception. I gotta say, if I wasn't so mad I might be a little impressed. I'd never have the guts to do that, she'd kill me. And don't say I'm going soft, because I'm not. I'm just tired. Tired of everything and everyone.

I mean, what were you thinking? I honestly don't even know what you were fighting about. Something about how you never listen and how she's too uptight? That's great and all, but seriously, right in the middle of desert? I wanted to finish that tart, I didn't need your elbow in it.

And, um, we should probably talk about after the reception, after you dipped into the cactus juice. Maybe your don't remember exactly what you said, but I know that I'll probably never forget it. I won't go into details; let's just say you proposed marriage multiple times. And not to Suki.

Just because you were drunk doesn't mean you can go and kiss me in the dark. You know how I felt about you, how I feel about you. I never thought you would be like that. I'll probably live off of that kiss for weeks.

Shit. I can never send this letter.

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph,

Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I want you to know that was never my intention. I would never hurt you, at least on purpose. Frankly I didn't know I had enough in me to hurt you. And I wanted you to hear it from me first.

Suki and I are broken up. For good this time. I mean it.

I don't know what this means for me, or for you, or how this'll make you feel, but now you know. And I want to be in your life, with you and Aang and Katara. If you'll let me. I've already written to them, apologizing. I don't know if they'll accept but it's worth a shot.

I'm boarding the next ferry to Air Temple Island as soon as my father gets better. Keep your feet clean for me.

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sokka,

Save it. I already knew you and Suki were done. Katara told me. She also told me how disappointed she was in you, yet she returned your letter with acceptance, as did Aang. I'm not so willing.

Why? Why did you kiss me? Did you know what that would do to me? Did you realize it would make me fall even harder for you than I already had? Was that your plan? Do you need to have girls falling all over your feet to feel good about yourself? I don't know what I see in you. You're a jerk, and an ass, and liar.

And yet I can't shake the feeling off my heart that you're it for me. What is this hold you have on me? Why can't I get rid of it?

Don't bother coming. I won't be there. It's been a year since the wedding, and you're still in my head. I need to get out, to leave it behind. Katara doesn't want me to go, seeing as she's due any minute, but I can't stay there any longer. So if you want to see me, stop. And don't bother asking Katara for my new address, because I made her swear she wouldn't tell you. Don't try to pry it out of Zuko, either.

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sokka,

Look. I'm sorry it's been five years since we've talked, but I'm not wasting time with chit chat and wishy washy nonsense, so I'll just get straight to the point.

Kanto left last night and I just found out I'm pregnant. 

I know we haven't spoken in a while, but it would mean a lot if you would come and visit for a while. Maybe stay for the birth. If not that's fine too. Ask Katara for the address, I told her she could tell you now.

Toph

P.S. I know there are tear stains on this paper, but it's my last piece, so just ignore them. Don't say a word.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Toph,

You don't have to say any more. I'm already on my way.

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph,

It's barely been a day and I already miss you so much, and don't say it's mush, because everyone needs to hear it once in a while. I miss you and the kid. Seven months hasn't been enough, I should've come sooner, I know.

Speaking of the kid, have you been doing your exercises, like Katara told you to? When she was there last month she said you should be doing those every day till the baby comes. Just because I'm not there to remind you doesn't mean you can slack off.

As for my father, well, no good news there. I don't think the cold is doing any good for him, he's getting worse, and I'm scared. I know people lose their parents and it's a natural part of life, but I already lost my mother way too soon. I don't want to lose my father, too. Silly, I know, but it's true. The funny thing is, it seems like my sister would be the best person to talk to about this, but I feel so much better telling you. Why is that?

Love from the South Pole,

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Snoozles,

Listen closely, cause I'm only going to say it once: I miss you, too. Meathead. Don't make me say it again.

I'm sorry about your dad, I really am. But he's a tough nut to crack, and a fighter. He'll fight till his last breath. And I'm sure it means so much that you're there with him.

All right, enough mush. Contrary to your beliefs, I think that yes, you can have too much of it. And I'm already overdosing since you've come to stay. I did do my exercises like once, and that's about it. Who cares? I'm due in a month, it's not like it'll affect anything now. What Katara doesn't know won't hurt her. Don't even think about telling her, Snoozles. She'll come back, she will. And that'll make Aang upset, because she's supposed to be resting after the whole giving birth thing.

Which I'm sure you've heard about, but as you once said, you like hearing things from my perspective. Tenzin came into the world last week, and yes, Twinkle Toes is no longer the last airbender, which is pretty cool. You know what's not cool? That I had to ask my superior to read that letter, because you weren't hear to tell me what my mail says. Another reason you gotta come home soon.

Shit. I wrote home. Not that this isn't your home, but if it isn't then no hard feelings. I mean, if it is, then good for you. Not good for you, good for me. I mean, not that it's not good for you.

Somebody needs to invent a pen that you can erase.

Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph,

My father died last night. And instead of everyone mourning with me they're talking about who's going to be the next chief, about whether or not I should do it.

I don't know what to do. I want to stay here with my tribe, with my people, and lead them, as they want me to, as I should. Yet when I think about staying, my heart practically stops and my breathing gets shallow, and all I can see is you. You, Toph Beifong, with your soft, silky hair and your pale green eyes and your unborn child. You consume my thoughts, and the mere idea of leaving you behind makes me retch. 

Do you remember when you said that I had a hold you, and you couldn't get rid of it? I think I finally understand how you felt. You've got a hold on me, Toph. Your grip is clenched around me with no sign of letting go. 

This isn't a bad thing.

I miss you. I'll miss my tribe, too, but there's a young man here who I think will really fit the job. Maybe even better than I would. I have to stay and train him for a few weeks, but I'll be home as soon as I can.

Yeah, I said home. You're home to me.

Love, Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Meathead,

I'm sorry about your father. He was a good man, very brave. I won't forget him, and how he treated me the same as he would anyone else, even though I'm blind. That means a lot.

Don't rush. Stay as long as you want, as long as you're back for the birth. I'll kill you if you're not here, but no pressure. I'm not due for a few weeks yet. But seriously, if you want to stay with your tribe, you should do it. I'll be fine here. 

As for my hold on you, well, let's just say I don't plan on letting go for a long time.

Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Sokka,

You're coming. You're coming home. To me. To us.

You'll be here tomorrow. I'm never going to send this, you'll be here before I'll even finish. This is just for me. For my eyes. Feet, whatever.

Since this will never reach you, I can be honest here. Open, I guess. After I convince myself that it's real, and you will never, ever see this.

I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I love your laugh, I love the way you say my name. I love the way that I can piece your heartbeat out of a crowd. I love how you hold out your arm for me to hold onto without hesitation. I love how you didn't question my plead for help, you just came. I love how you promised to be around for me, for my child, no matter the consequences. I love your flaws, your faults, your imperfections. I love all of you.

This is so embarrassing. You can never, ever find this. I might have to burn it. But you're coming home. I didn't know how much I'd miss you until you were gone.

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph,

I still wish you would've come with me, but I guess with Lin only five and you not wanting to leave the force it's understandable. Katara just about had a stroke when she saw that you weren't with me, she misses you. Aang, too, says he hasn't heard Twinkle Toes in years. Which is true. Next time I go you should come.

Everything is fine here. They told me that I can stop coming so frequently, since their kids are getting older, but I want to see them grow up. Hard to believe that Bumi's seven already, and Tenzin is one. Kya's the most rambunctious water bender I've ever seen, she drives Katara more crazy than she ever drove our mother. Yesterday she froze my spoon just before I put it in my mouth, gave me a brain freeze something fierce. And it's made me think some things over.

Toph, I want you to know that I love Lin like my own daughter. I know she isn't and she never will be, but I see her that way. I love living in Ba Sing Se with you two. It's everything I've ever wanted. I miss you both. 

Love, Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Snoozles, 

Turns out I will be coming to visit. Lin, too. I think Katara would kill me if I didn't bring her, and anyway she should get to know her aunts and uncles. And her daddy figure, Sokka. If I could smirk through paper, here's where I would do it.

I think I got the invite just before you did. I'm not sure how to feel about it. No, maybe it's that I'm not sure how to feel about the way you might feel about it. I have no problem with Zuko. It's not him I'm worried about. It's her. I don't think you still have any feelings for her, but a girl can have nightmares. 

Speaking of nightmares, I can't believe Suki is making me wear a dress to be in the wedding. Another dress! I think I'd rather die. Why can't Katara be her stupid bridesmaid? Why do I have to be in everybody's wedding? She said that you wouldn't be in it, though I could tell she was lying. I wish people would tell me the truth, somehow knowing when they're lying makes it even harder. The problem is, there's no way to tell of you're lying through a letter. So though I might see you before you get this, tell me the truth. 

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph, 

You know, I admire the way you didn't even ask a question yet you demand the truth, and I still know what you're talking about. I also admire the way you say I might see you before I got the letter, yet you won't be here for another week and here I am writing you back. You're one of a kind, that's for sure. But you didn't need me to tell you that.

The short answer to your question-that's-not-really-a-question is no, but if you really wanted me to go in depth, then the answer would be I'm not sure. And I think you knew that.

I'll always care about Suki. She's been such a big part of my life for so long, I don't think I could get rid of her if I tried. She's apart of me, and so is Yue. They'll never really leave me. But I don't love her anymore. She's not the one I was supposed to spend my life with. I know that now. I'm thinking maybe I always did.

Love, Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Meathead,

I don't know why I even bother going to weddings anymore. It's like it's tradition for us to hook up afterwards. Why is that?

It was different at home. You help me with Lin, you live in my house, with me, and you're her father figure and I'm her mom and she's the child and it's like a family, but it's not.

I think that because Katara had all the kids, including mine, that's why we didn't hesitate, why we did what we did. She wasn't there to see it, like that one time at home. Remember when she walked in on us when she was four? I'll never let that go.

At least this time we were both sober, though maybe that's not such a good thing. Now we can't blame it on anything but ourselves. I'd much rather blame it on the alcohol, or you, or anything else. But I didn't do anything that I didn't want to do.

I don't know how I'm going to send this, since I'm writing it in the same room we slept in last night. Thank the Spirits Zuko's the Fire Lord and had this whole ass palace to himself. I guess I'll leave it here for you to find, because I'm leaving. I'm taking Lin and going home so I have some time to think before you get there. I'm sorry, I just need to think.

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Sokka,

I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought maybe you'd be a few days late, a week at the most, but I never thought you just wouldn't come. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Did you think about Lin at all? She's so upset she can't sleep some nights, she stays up crying for Uncle Sokka. Half the time I feel like joining her.

I can't believe I just wrote that. They seriously need to come up with an erasing pen. The point is, it's been two months since the wedding, and I thought I could put you behind me. Put you out of my life. Well, I just found out that I can never do that.

I'm pregnant. Get your ass over here now.

Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earth Bender in the World 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Toph, 

I'm on my way. I'll explain everything when I get there. Just know that I'm so, so sorry. 

Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Toph, 

One of these years you should come with me to the South Pole, see my tribe, see where I came from. Katara, too. It's snowy all around, and through you can't see it and wouldn't be able to even feel it, you'd know. Winter is a sort of magic, you can sense it in the air. Maybe I'll even carry you around if you behave.

The new chief is a natural. He's a great leader, exceptionally good at pep talks. He even got me fired up. It's been seven years since my father died, and I think they've finally got someone who really knows what they're doing. 

Yes, I know what you're going to say, and yeah, sometimes I do wish I'd stayed. But I know now where I belong. And it's with you. And Lin. And baby Beifong, due in eight weeks. Thank the Spirits Katara didn't make you do any exercises this tine around, you would probably throw her out the door.

I miss all of you, but you most of all. And it's made me realize something, something I should've realized a very long time ago, something I think I've known since my father died. 

I have something to ask you when I get home. Something that's been a long time coming.

Love, Sokka

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dear Sokka,

My hand is shaking as I'm writing this. I can hardly breathe, and it's all your fault. I've been in two weddings now, and I never imagined I'd be in a third.

It's even harder to believe that I'll be the bride.

I blame you for my tears. I blame you for my insomnia. I blame you for Lin bombarding me with questions every five minutes, asking if I'm going to marry Uncle Sokka. Most of all I blame you for Su toddling around and patting my ass. I finally had to put both of them to bed an hour early because I couldn't take it anymore. I can still hear Lin in her room, bouncing off the walls. She was thrilled when I told her. Not as thrilled as Katara, though. I swear that girl gets more excited about my life than I do. 

It was almost more than I could bear to ask her to be a bridesmaid. Suki, too, she nearly went into early labor when I asked her. Zuko told me it would be a mistake, but what does he know?

I think I'll give this to you in person. I don't see the point in mailing it when tomorrow I will be your wife.

Toph

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Dear Sokka,

My hands don't work so well anymore, so Korra is writing this for me. She's the new Avatar, you see. When you saw her last she was just a tiny baby, but she's almost thirty now. 

I don't know why I'm doing this. It's been almost half a century since you've died, and there's still a gaping hole in my heart that will never be filled up. It's going to he a close one, though. I can feel my life slipping away. 

Lin and Su are coming tomorrow to say goodbye. I don't have much time left here on Earth, with Katara and Zuko and Suki. And my precious daughters.

I wish I could say motherhood was my best trait, but it doesn't take a genius to see that I was the worst one there is. I tried so hard to give them everything I couldn't have that I didn't give them myself. I think I've mended things, at least somewhat. No one wants to die with regrets.

There, I said it. Die. I'm dying, Snoozles. I'm leaving behind my family, the one I built all on my own. And I'll miss it, of course, but if there's one thing about death I know for certain, it's that I've been waiting for it. I've been waiting for a chance to be with you again, to place my fingers in yours, to feel your lips against mine once more. I've missed you so much.

I'm coming home, Sokka. I'll be there soon.

Love, Toph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I switched a few things around history wise, hope you liked it!


	8. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph didn't know what to expect when Sokka begged her to pretend to be his boyfriend, but this was NOT what she had planned.

"So?" Sokka tapped his foot against the ground expectantly. Tap. Tap. Tap. Toph knew that tap, probably better than he did. Slow taps meant he was impatient, quick taps meant he was anxious. "What do you say?"

She sighed. This wasn't the first time Sokka had asked her for a favor; there was the time she'd snuck in and out of his room so that Katara would think he was home, the time she'd tracked down Yue's new address after she moved, the time she'd shown up at Uncle Iroh's tea shop wearing a neon green dress with her hair in five braids - now that was a weird favor - and she always seemed to find herself wrapped up in his schemes. She just couldn't say no to him. But this was crossing the line.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, please?" He begged, clasping her hands. She felt an electric shock travel up her spine at his touch. "Suki's bringing that boy to the party, I can't show up alone!"

"She knows I'm your best friend!"

"It's just for one night, come on, you just have to pretend to be my girlfriend, how hard can it be?"

"Very."

"All you have to do is come to the party and hang around, maybe let me kiss you a couple times."

"Woah, there. Nobody said anything about kisses."

He ignored her. "She's bringing the guy she met on vacation, I've never met him before, come on, you just have to help me show her that I'm over her."

"But you're not."

"Not the point. Just, please? I don't have a lot of options here."

"You could bring Ty Lee, she's obsessed with you."

He wrinkled his nose. "She's too... pink. She's always telling me my aura needs cleansing. Come on, Toph, you're my only hope here!"

She rolled her sightless eyes and leaned against the wall of her parent's mansion. Spotless as always. Just like everything else in this hellhole, just like her parents. Just like they wanted to make her.

They lived in Republic City, an urban community that never slept, always moving, always something going on. Her house was right in the middle of the hustle bustle, in the center of other rich and impressive looking homes that housed rich and impressive looking people with rich and impressive looking businesses. Her parents were no different than their neighbors, except that none of them have children and they're slightly richer than everyone else.

She thought that's probably why her parents tried to hide her away when she was younger. To try and save face, to make up an appearance. She didn't know which was worse, that or when they gave up and instead treated her like a china doll, fragile enough to break at any moment, needing to be deemed pretty enough to leave the house.

Well. That put her panties in a twist. Who were they to tell her how to dress, how to act and who to talk to? She stopped coming home, spending most nights with Katara and Sokka, in the house where they lived with their father and grandmother. It was strictly middle class, but that was fine with her. No one there cared if she didn't wear makeup and didn't shower every night. Katara might try and inch her in a certain direction, but she never outright forced her. No one did. She was her own boss.

Hakoda treated her as his own daughter, ruffling her hair before he left for work each morning. Kanna would pinch her nose and tell her to bathe before she sent her to an early grave, but then she would wink and slip her a piece of chocolate. At least, that's what Sokka told her.

Sokka. He was the real reason she stayed, the real reason she returned each night, the real reason she didn't just take off. She couldn't just leave her best friend behind. She would miss him too much, though she would never say it to his face. Teasing was the only way she got through to him, the only way that she could sometimes feel something more, something sweet. Her own longing mirrored back at her.

But then he would go and pull a stupid stunt like this and she would have to go back to pretending like she didn't care. 

She did. She did so much. 

"Look, Snoozles, I'm not interested in being your girlfriend, even your pretend one."

"Exactly. And I'm not interested in you at all -" she scowled "- which is why it works perfectly!"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long sigh. "Okay. Say for a minute - hypothetically - that I agreed to this. What's in it for me?"

"Hmm." She could practically feel his smirk vibrating across the room, and wished for maybe the millionth time that she could see him. Being blind sucked ass sometimes. "Well, do you mean aside from the obvious?"

"What's that? Extra time in the presence of the king? I already live with you."

"Not just that. There are other benefits, such as finding out just how soft my lips would be against yours," he said, shifting his weight so that he was balanced on one arm stretched out above her head. She could feel a blush creeping along her cheeks and willed herself to stay calm. Spirits, did he have any idea how he made her feel?

"Yeah, because I've been wondering that for such a long time," she sneered, shoving his arm off the wall.

He yelped and lost his balance, tumbling onto her. She grunted under his weight. "Geez, Meathead, what's Gran Gran been feeding you, rocks?"

"I'm a growing boy, I need my strength," came the breathless reply.

Toph tried hard not to breathe too hard or too soft. His head was right on her chest, and she could feel it moving up and down rapidly to the beat of her heart. She prayed it wasn't too noticable as she lifted him to his feet. "You're seventeen years old. Who's been telling you you're still growing?" She lifted her gaze to his head and smirked. "If you get any taller I might not be able to lift my head any higher."

"Ha, ha," he groaned, but allowed her to flick him on the forehead before rising and dusting himself off. "Why is there so much dirt on me, I was on you for like three seconds!"

"It's called a healthy layer of earth," she replied, crossing her arms. "You should try it some time."

"Yeah. You know what you should try? A bath!"

"I'll try a bath when you try to not have two left feet," she scoffed. "Next time, how about you keep your balance?"

"I'll keep my balance if you pretend to be my girlfriend tomorrow night," he piped up, his voice suddenly alight with hope and pleading. It was all she could do not to just kiss him right there. She settled for a punch on the arm instead. 

"Hey!" He muttered, rubbing himself. "What was that for?"

"That's how I show affection."

His demeanor changed immediately. "You mean you'll do it?"

"When did I say that? I never said that," she scoffed, but she knew he had won. It hadn't even really been a battle. His voice shook with glee.

"Aww, yeah! We're gonna make Suki jealous, we're gonna have a good time, we're gonna rock this party!"

She rolled her eyes and tried not to smile. He made her feel like that a lot.

-

"Hey, man," Zuko said, opening the door and giving Sokka a hug. "Long time, no see."

"I just saw you at school, dude," he said. A tall girl with dark makeup and long black hair came up and stood next to Zuko, and he planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey, Sokka. Hey, Toph."

"Hi, Mai," they chorused. Sokka grabbed Toph's hand, and she stiffened. 

"What's wrong?" He muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What are you doing?" She muttered back.

"I'm holding your hand, like your boyfriend."

"Do your hands have to be so sweaty?"

"My hands aren't sweaty, your hands are sweaty!"

"What's this?" Zuko interrupted. "Sokka? You didn't tell me... I didn't know... you and Toph..?"

"Moment of truth," he murmured to her, then his grip was released on her hand and transferred to her shoulder. "Yep! Introducing my girlfriend, Toph."

"I know who she is," he said, grinning. "Congrats, you two."

"We always thought this would happen," Mai added.

"You did?" Sokka asked, sounding surprised. She inhaled sharply, but apparently Mai nodded, for he exhaled. "Oh. Well, um... Now it's happening."

"Yeah..." Zuko paused, and Toph strained her ears but could pick up nothing. He seemed to be having a silent conversation with Sokka, for he tightened his grip on her and directed her to a table.

"What's the big idea?" She asked as his hand left her shoulder. She tried not to feel too disappointed. "Where's Suki?"

"Zuko said she just went in the bathroom."

"And where's this Flameo dude?"

"I don't know what he looks like," he said. "Oh! There's Aang."

She whipped her head up. "Where?"

"Did I hear someone say Flameo?"

"Aang!" Sokka said, clapping him on the back. "What's up? Where's Katara?"

"She's talking to Ty Lee," he replied. "Hey, Toph."

She nodded in his direction. "Twinkle Toes."

He sighed. "How long is that going to go on? It's been over two years since my ballet lessons."

"I'll never let it go. Sorry, not sorry," she smirked, punching him on the arm. 

"Great," he said, but she could hear the smile in his voice. He turned to Sokka. "So where's Suki? Are you... did you guys get into it again?"

He growled, and she could feel his posture slipping. "Uh, yeah. She's supposed to be here tonight."

"Yeah." Aang seemed to be at a loss for words. "Oh, there she is. She's... she's coming over here!"

Toph tensed as Sokka grabbed her hand. "Act like you love me," he hissed in her ear. "Don't be a dummy."

"Don't call me a dummy, you dummy," she hissed back, and he was about to retort when Suki approached them. He immediately straightened up, and Toph attempted to plaster a grin on her face.

"Suki! Hey, what's up?" He said nonchalantly. 

"Not much," she said, and there was an awkward pause where they both sort of leaned in but also hesitated. If Toph wasn't so focused on acting she would've rolled her eyes. 

"Toph, how are you?" 

"Good!" She said quickly. "Good, good, I'm good, all good!"

Suki let out a puff of air and Sokka gripped her hand tightly. 

"I'm... I'm going to go get us some drinks, okay?" He said to her, and she let out a deep breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She nodded.

"Okay," she said, and his hand left hers. But before he left, he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

She was rooted to the spot.

It seemed to last hours, days, maybe even weeks, but he pulled away, and she could feel his eyes on her. She lifted her head and their lips brushed once more. His breath was hot and tasted of salty air and the ocean and the mint gum he always chewed.

"I'll be right back," he breathed, and she was left gasping for air like a fish out of water. Her lips felt warm and light, and just for a moment, a second, a hesitant, she forgot that it wasn't real.

"What - what was that?" 

She blinked. Of course. Suki was next to her, right next to her. That was the whole point of this thing. This wasn't real. The kiss didn't mean anything. Of course it didn't. She straightened up and crossed her arms,

"What? My boyfriend can't kiss me?"

She sputtered, evidently rendered speechless. "Wha - boy - boyfriend? Since when is Sokka your boyfriend?"

She shrugged. "A few months now." That was the story they had come up with, spending at least an hour in Sokka's room making notes and acting it out and having fun. They'd decided that Sokka had asked her out after Suki had spent the summer vacationing on Kyoshi Island, where she'd met a guy and brought him back to Republic City with her, which was only half a lie. Her and Sokka had been broken up already, but he had been hoping she would be pining for him like he'd been pining for her.

"Oh...a few months," she muttered. "How did -" she coughed "- how did you get together?"

"We've always been close. It just sort of happened." Toph chewed on her lip, unsure if she'd said the right thing. They hadn't discussed how they'd gotten together.

Apparently Suki bought it or just wasn't in the mood for arguing, because she just said, "Congrats," and stood beside her, both of them waiting for Sokka to return. 

She struggled to find something to say. She and Suki had never been terribly close, but they were friends, and now Toph was afraid she would say something that would give her away. So they stood in silence until she heard Sokka's footsteps tottering toward them, two beer cans clinking together as he walked.

"Hey," he said, leaning down. She felt her heart speed up, but he was only handing her the can. His mouth stayed away from hers. She didn't know how to feel about that.

"Hey," she said back, accepting the can and taking a long swig. She wrinkled her nose and swished liquid around. "What is this stuff?"

"Cactus Juice," he said distractedly. "So Suki, I heard you were bringing your new boyfriend tonight?"

Toph rolled her eyes and set the can down. She'd experienced Sokka and Cactus Juice mixed before, and it wasn't something she wanted for herself. Instead she leaned against Sokka like a good girlfriend and listened as he talked to Suki. Thankfully he put his arm around her so she didn't feel too much like a third wheel.

"Yeah, Rai. He's nice, you'd like him."

"Oh? Where is he?"

"He should be around here somewhere...there he is! Rai, come over here, there's some people I want you to meet!"

A pair of heavy footsteps made their way over to them. She could hear arms swinging at the sides of what she pictured would be a strong torso. He came to rest next to Suki, who had a grin in her voice as she said, "Rai, this is Sokka. Remember, I told you about him?"

"I remember. Nice to meet you, Sokka," he said, and Sokka used his free hand to shake his. It must have been a tight one, for his grip on her shoulder tensed.

"And this is his girlfriend, Toph," Suki continued. She nodded in his direction.

"Hey," he replied, and Sokka glanced at Toph questioningly. 

"Did you already tell her?"

"Yep," she said tightly. "I did."

"Oh." He turned to Suki. "Uh, yeah. So... yeah, Toph's my girlfriend now."

"I told her congratulations," Suki said curtly. 

"Just her?"

"Well, you, too, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"Are you a parrot? Quit repeating everything I say!"

"Then start saying stuff that makes sense!"

Toph didn't notice that Rai had quietly snuck up behind her until he whispered in her ear. "They used to date?"

She gave a start but nodded. "Yeah. They broke up and got back together all the time."

"Huh. Suki didn't tell me that they used to go out, she just said he liked her," he said, and she frowned. 

"Then how did you know they used to date?"

He shrugged. "Just figured it out. It's kind of obvious, don't you think?"

She hesitated but listened to Sokka and Suki arguing. Yes, they were mad, but there was a passion to their anger. There was a tenderness to each harsh word thrown, a sort of under layer beneath the surface. She nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"You blind?"

"Uh huh."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I've learned to live with it." She sighed and tapped her foot. The argument was going nowhere. She lifted her hand as a farewell to Rai and made her way over to Katara.

"Hey, Sugar Queen."

"Hi, Toph," she said, but from her tone she could tell she wasn't really paying attention to her. "Are they at it again?"

"Yeah. Couldn't take it anymore."

"Toph, did I just hear what I think I heard?" Aang said, running over to them and planting a quick kiss on Katara's cheek. 

"Depends."

"Mai just told me that you and Sokka are dating! Is it true?"

Katara spit out her drink, her eyes bugged out as Aang handed her a napkin. "Toph! You didn't say a word to me, I thought we swore we would tell each other as soon as we got boyfriends! I told you about Aang!"

"You did?" Aang sounded hurt. "I thought we were a secret for the first month."

"It wouldn't have been a secret even if she hadn't told me, Twinkle Toes," she scoffed. "And it just sort of happened, Katara. There's nothing to tell."

"I'll bet I can squeeze something out of you, a relationship doesn't just happen!"

"Well, this one did!"

Katara sighed in exasperation. "All right, if you insist on sticking to your story." She smiled coyly. "But from here on out I want to hear every single detail! My best friend is going out with my brother! This is great!"

"Okay, okay, don't get hysterical," Toph said, but inside she was smiling. She liked the sound of that.

She continued chatting with Aang and Katara and eventually Zuko and Mai when they came over for about an hour. Eventually she grew tired of their conversation and began asking around for Sokka. No one had any clue where he'd gone, and, as she discovered, Suki was missing too. The thought made her stomach swirl, which she told herself was absurd, because wasn't that the point of this whole thing? She tried to shake off this feeling, but it wouldn't go away.

Finally the party was dwindling down, and Sokka was still nowhere to be found, which was getting to be an issue as he was her ride. Katara offered to drive her home, but she was spending the night at Aang's and it would've been out if her way, so she said no. People were leaving all around her, shuffling and grabbing coats and stumbling around and not one of the shoulders that brushed her was Sokka's or even Suki's. She strayed to the wall and leaned against it, scowling.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped. Zuko was next to her. "I - I didn't hear you."

"Then you must be distracted," he said. "It's usually that you hear me when I don't want you to."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Listen, I know I already asked you, but have you seem my asshole of a ride anywhere?"

Zuko shifted. "Uh, yeah...that's, um, that's why I came over here." He hesitated, then put his hand on her shoulder. "I saw him go into the first floor bedroom a few minutes ago."

"And..." she said, hardly daring to breathe, "and Suki?"

"She left with Rai already, a little while ago," he said, and she exhaled, trying not to sound too relieved and immediately straightening up.

"So where is he again? I need to yell at him."

He pursed his lips and directed her to the door of a bedroom in his massive house. His parents had been almost as rich as her parents, but then his mother had disappeared and his father had made it his goal to be more successful than anyone else in town. Now he was the top business manager around and hardly ever seen by his children, Zuko and his sister Azula, who was in Toph's year at school.

"Just a fair warning," he said before letting her go. "Last I saw him he was hitting the Cactus Juice pretty hard."

She let out a low sigh. Of course he would be too drunk to drive her home. Zuko seemed to be thinking along the same lines, for he offered to let her stay at his house for the night. 

"Thanks," she said. "I'll just...go in here, now."

He have her a final pat before leaving, and she waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps to open the door.

Immediately something - someone - fell into her arms, nearly crushing her under their weight. Fortunately as she toppled to the ground she recognized the boy that pushed her elbows onto the hard floor and flopped his head on her stomach; it was Sokka.

"Snoozles, what - what the hell -"

"Toph..." he laughed into her chest. "You smell good..."

"Oh, God," she muttered. She was not equipped to deal with extremely drunk boys, much less extremely drunk boys who were her fake boyfriend but real crush. "How many drinks did you have?"

He waved his hand as she struggled to set him on his feet. "Only like two... or three... or seven..."

"Right." She shoved him off of her and brushed herself off, but she heard a thud and sighed as she realized he had landed on the bed.

"Uuuuugh," he moaned, the sound muffled by the quilt on the bed. "Toph.... I can't."

"Can't what, Meathead?" 

"Can't...breathe!"

"Then maybe you should sit up."

"Huh." There was a scuffling noise as she supposed he was sitting up, though what that thumping noise was she had no clue. Then he was silent and the only noise was the sound of her tapping her foot against the ground and the sizzle of a candle. She lifted her head and turned toward the sound. There must have been a candle on either side of the bed. Zuko's father was so old fashioned. 

"Toph?"

"What?"

"Suki hates me."

She bit her lip and sighed again. "No, she doesn't."

"Do you hate me?" He asked, ignoring her response, but she could now feel his eyes boring into her back, bringing a hole through her shirt and skin and bone. She knew that he would not ignore this answer. 

"Of course I don't hate you, you idiot," she stammered, trying to keep the blush out of her voice. 

"Oh." He was quiet for a moment, then there was a shifting noise and suddenly she felt his hot breath in her cheek. Her blush deepened. 

"I don't hate you either," he whispered.

She didn't know what to say or what to do. There was no way he knew what he was doing, no way he would remember this in the morning. 

Stop, she told herself. Stop. You can't do this to him. Not here, not now. You know how you feel, and he doesn't feel the same. He's drunk. He's drunk. He's drunk. 

"You're beautiful, Toph," he breathed, slowly turning her around. She felt her chest being pressed against his strong torso, felt his heart beating. Almost as fast as hers.

She couldn't stand it anymore. She lifted her head.

Her eyes closed as she pressed her lips against his, and he didn't hesitate to gently tilt her chin, his soft hands caressing her with the utmost care. Her heart beat faster as she deepened the kiss, her back curving into his stomach, and she marveled at how perfectly her body fit into his. 

Finally they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Toph pursed her lips, her hands resting on his chest. He didn't move.

"Kiss me again," he whispered.

"You're drunk, Snoozles," she said. She could feel her face catching fire, red spreading across her cheeks. "You don't know what you're doing."

"I do know what I'm doing," he said huskily. His voice sounded more vulnerable. "I'm kissing the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Stop."

"I can't. I can't stop, and I won't ever." He clasped her hands, and suddenly they were both on the bed, their legs tangled together and their arms around the other. Toph didn't know the last time she'd kissed someone like this, if she'd ever kissed someone like this. This was different.

Their breaths became fast and shallow. Somehow her hands reached down and pulled his loose shirt over his head. His lips were swollen and oh, he tasted so good, so familiar. She'd wanted to do this for so long, and it was finally happening. 

She didn't protest when he lifted her shirt, she didn't protest when all she could feel was him, and she didn't protest when he lowered himself on top of her and wrapped her hair through his fingers.

And he kissed her until the candles burned themselves out.

-

Toph's world was always dark, but this was darker than normal. She blinked. Then blinked again. Harsh sunlight was pouring through a window to her left, practically burning a hole through her skin. She yawned and felt around her. 

Funny. These didn't feel like her normal bedsheets at Katara's house. She felt again, and this time her hand struck something hard. Something soft, and warm, and... utterly human.

It took all her willpower not to scream on the spot. Sokka was lying next to her, and from her frantic scramble two seconds previously she knew that he was wearing no clothes.

Was she naked too? She immediately felt her chest, then again and again. No shirt. No pants, either. Not even a bra. Her heart filled with dread as memories flooded her brain.

She had actually slept with him. Sokka. Her best friend. Slept with him. She'd slept with him!

"Oh, my God," she muttered, and she tumbled out of the bed, wrapped in a sheet. She draped it across her thin frame like a toga and dropped to the floor, feeling around for her clothes. Shutting her eyes tightly, she nimbly touched the ground around her, feeling much like an idiot and having never felt so blind.

Finally her hand stuck gold. A bra, by the feel of it. Hastily she struggled to put it on before falling to the floor again and resuming her search.

When she felt another article - this time a pair of pants - and stood up to put it on, a voice greeted her as she dusted herself off.

"Hey, sexy."

She yelped and threw the sheet in the direction of the voice, and it was halfway through the air before she realized that A. It wouldn't do any good against a person, and B. She now was standing there in a bra and what felt like someone else's pants.

"Relax, it's only me," the voice said again, and she recognized it as Sokka's. Of course. Who else would even be in there?

"You scared me," she retorted, narrowing her eyes and restraining from covering her chest.

He laughed. "Now, there's a first. Me, scaring the Great Toph Beifong!"

"Shut up," she muttered, and she hears him shifting. His eyebrow raise practically vibrated across the room.

"I meant what I said. You look sexy."

She rolled her eyes. "Please. I'm wearing a bra and your pants."

"Exactly," he said. "Sexy."

"Shouldn't you be hungover or something?"

"Sure. I've got a massive headache, but that's not the point." There was a thud and padding feet as he made his way over to her. He stopped about a foot in front if her. "The point is that you, Toph Beifong, just slept with me."

"Yeah," she mumbled. She didn't know what else to say. "Can you maybe put some clothes on, you perv?"

"What do you care? You can't see me," he said, sounding amused. 

"I just...know. Come on."

"Fine. But you're wearing my pants, and I'm gonna need those."

"Uh." She hadn't thought of that. "On second thought, I'll just pretend you're wearing clothes."

"That's what I thought." There was a pause, then he shuffled. A yanking sound.

"There."

"What?"

"I'm wearing your pants."

She snorted. "Seriously? Damn. I really wish I could see, I'd pay for that experience."

He laughed, then they fell silent for a long time. She cleared her throat.

"Look," she started. "I'm sorry for taking advantage of you. I shouldn't have - I mean, you were drunk, and I - I'm sorry - I mean, we - you -"

"Shh," he said, pressing his finger to her lip. 

She shrugged it off. "No. Really. I shouldn't have done that. It's my fault, we never should've - it's not. -"

"Toph." His voice was soft. Gentle. Pure. Even though what they'd just done was anything but. "You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."

She sucked in a breath. He wasn't lying, she could tell that much. He liked her. He really liked her.

"I don't just like you," he said, as if he could read her mind. "I think...I think last night made me realize something."

"Oh, yeah?" She stammered, struggling to remain cool. "What's that?"

He moved closer. "I might not say it enough, but I care about you, Toph. A lot. You're my best friend," he said, his voice crawling lower and huskier with each word. "But I think I want something more."

She couldn't breathe. Her lungs were sucking in air, but nothing was happening. Had he really said that? Where her ears filled with wax? 

"I love you," he whispered.

That was it. She was drowning, falling, dying. There was no way he had just said that, those precious, precious words she had dreamed about for years. His lips had moved, and the sounds had come out, but he hadn't meant it. Had he?"

"Huh?" Was all she could manage.

He tilted her chin up. "I love you, Toph. I love you."

She didn't hesitate this time. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, kissed him with all the longing and feeling and love she could muster. Her heart was overflowing. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, so tightly she sensed he would never let go. Her hands tangled in his hair. They broke apart, panting, then he pressed his lips against hers once more. They were entwined. Together as one. 

And in between kisses, she told him she loved him.

Again and again and again.


	9. Bad Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is used to picking Toph up in the middle of the night. What he's not used to is her kissing him, thinking that he's their best friend Sokka.

It had been fifty two days since the last time Zuko had had to do it. He was sure this time, because he had started keeping track on a small calendar on his desk. He really didn't want to break his record, especially after last time, when he had actually had to leave a planning meeting, which was highly embarrassing and quite frankly inappropriate. But he couldn't just leave her. She was one of his best friends, after all. Besides, when he was in a good mood it was kind of amusing. And he did hate those planning meetings.

So when a Kyoshi Warrior knocked on his door and alerted him that Toph Beifong had sent him a message, he gladly put down his reports and followed her to the palace doors, happy to have an excuse to leave for a few minutes. He allowed her to escort him to the wall, then said he could take it from here, hopping into his palanquin and directing the driver to where he knew Toph would be. She always went to the same place.

The palanquin came to a stop outside a bar just a few minutes away from the palace. Zuko stepped down and told the driver to wait in their usual position, and he nodded before driving away. He sighed and tried to mentally train himself for what he would find waiting for him.

He was, as usual, completely unprepared. 

"Sparky!" Toph slurred. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and the alcohol, and her pale green eyes were slightly crossed.

He sighed. "Hey, Toph."

"Hey," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Hey. Hey? Hey!" She then began examining her own fingernails, picking them with her teeth.

Zuko sighed again. He was used to picking Toph up in the middle of the night, in the morning, or sometimes in the evening if she got tired quickly. Every so often she would go out and get drunk, and since she always went to the same place, she called on him to come pick her up. He didn't mind, not really, though the first time he'd helped her he had been thoroughly annoyed that she had vomited all over his new robes. Thankfully she hadn't done that again, which was saying something considering they'd been doing this for almost three years now.

She stumbled down the steps, jerking him out if his thoughts, and he hurried to catch her. He grunted under her weight. "Oh, geez, Toph, what've you been eating? You weren't this heavy last month."

"I'm a growing girl," was her reply. "I'm a growing... I'm growing a girl."

"Uh, huh." He struggled to set her upright, the night air biting his face. Finally she was standing up straight, though swaying considerably.

"No," she said, suddenly serious, tugging on his robe as if to make sure he was listening. "I'm growing a girl."

"What?"

She laughed vaguely and her eyes rolled up into her head. "Girl. Ha, ha. I'm growing a girl. I'm pregnant."

"O-Okay, Toph," he said, dusting her off tentatively. "If you say so."

"I'm pregnant," she repeated. "I'm pregnant...preg...ahhhh...."

She stepped closer to him, then closer, and closer still. Zuko felt her hot breath on his face, could see it swirling in the night. Her eyes grew very wide, though they could take in nothing. She moved closer and closer.

"You know," she breathed, "I like you, Sokka." 

And she kissed him full on the mouth.

Zuko spluttered, pulling away as fast as he could. He stared at her uncertainly, her eyes closed and her lips puckered out. "Toph! What the hell?"

She frowned, and didn't seem to realize her mistake. "You don't like me, do you?"

"I - I - wha -"

"You like Suki," she said, kicking a rock so hard it shattered a window on his palanquin. The driver yelped and stuck out his head to Zuko, panic on his face. He held up his hand and stared at Toph, whose arms were now crossed and her eyes directed to the ground dejectedly.

"Toph, it's me," he said gently. "It's Zuko."

"No. I understand," she muttered. "It's just hard when you love someone and they don't love you back."

"I'm not Sokka," he said again. 

"Stop fooling around. I'm sorry. But I just really love you!" She leaned in again, and he dodged her expertly.

"Toph!" He shouted, his hands held up in defense. "It's Zuko! Not Sokka!"

Finally she blinked, and her dazed smile faded. She blinked again, then coughed. The moonlight made her appear as though she had ben dipped in liquid silver.

"Sokka?" she whispered. 

"No," he said softly. "No, it's me, Toph, it's Zuko. Remember?"

Her eyes fluttered shut, and a single tear leaked out of the corner. She nodded abruptly. "Zuko."

"That's right," he encouraged, feeling rather like he was coaxing a child into the light. "Good job."

"Where's Sokka?"

"Uh... he's not here right now."

She paused, then let out a wail. Zuko jumped about a foot in the air. That didn't sound like Toph, not the Toph he knew. 

"He doesn't love me," she sniffed. "I know it. I know it. I know it."

"No, no, Toph, he does. Of course he loves you, we all love you!" He put his hands on her shoulders. "I love you."

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't love you, though."

Zuko though this was going a bit far. After all, she'd just kissed him. But he knew what she meant. This didn't make him feel any less sorry for her.

"I know," he said. "I - I'm sorry."

She shut her eyes tightly and moaned, tears flowing freely now. If anything before hadn't clued him in to how she was feeling, this certainly did. Toph did not cry. Nor did she act this way drunk, normally. Something must have happened.

"Toph?" He said hesitantly, but he didn't get any farther before she flung herself into his arms and sobbed. He patted her hair awkwardly. Now was not the time for questions.

"Let's get you home."

She was crying too much to answer, but he thought he saw a nod. So he gently helped her into the palanquin and hoped that the next time he saw Toph she wouldn't remember anything that had happened.

-

Of course she remembered everything that happened.

"So?" She asked, tapping her foot impatiently. 

Zuko rubbed between his eyes. It was way too early for this. "Okay, let me explain."

"You kissed me?!"

"Um, you kissed me, weirdo!"

Her pale cheeks flushed with color. "Whatever, I was drunk, so what?"

"Hey, five seconds ago you were mad that I kissed you!"

"So you did?!"

"No! I -" he sighed, exasperated. "The point is -"

"Yes, the point. What on earth did you drag me to the palace for at eight in the morning for? The point? I'd love to hear it!"

"Maybe if you'd let me finish," he muttered. "The point is that you kissed me, thinking I was Sokka!"

He sat up triumphantly, expecting her to stammer and deny it and try to make excuses. He was not expecting her to sigh and grumble and plop down in the chair next to him.

"Uh..."

"I was hoping you wouldn't remember," she said quietly, picking at her dirt-caked nails. 

He couldn't help but snort. "You were hoping that I wouldn't remember? I wasn't the one who was drunk!"

"I was grasping at straws, okay?" She yelled. "Not like I needed you to remember." She slid down in her seat and crossed her arms.

He didn't know what to do. This wasn't what he was built for. Where was Katara when you needed her? 

A few minutes of quiet passed and Toph didn't move. Zuko shifted his weight in his chair and tried to act as though he wanted nothing more than to sit here in silence with her.

"It's the second time I've done this," she finally muttered. He glanced over at her. 

"What?"

"That's the second time I've kissed someone thinking it was Sokka," she said, directing her gaze to his head.

"Wha - when was the first time?"

"Serpent's Pass," she said, as if he should know where that is. Maybe she sensed his confusion, for she started to describe it. "It's a tiny little slice of land, we were traveling through it cause Appa was missing. I fell through the ice and Sokka shouted that he was coming, but when someone rescued me it was Suki." She frowned against her will. "I kissed her, and she got all embarrassed and I realized my mistake and I never told anyone about it."

"Until now."

She scowled. "Yeah, Sparky, until now. Happy you're the first to hear my tale of woe?"

"No, no, it's just...I had no idea how long you've liked him."

"Yeah, well, you were never that good at reading people."

"Hey, by the time we were on the same side, I was more preoccupied with saving the world," he said, nudging her a little. She smiled, and suddenly he remembered something else.

"Uh, Toph?"

"What?"

"You - last night you were - you kept saying - I mean, I mean. -"

"Just spit it out, Zuko."

"Are you pregnant?"

She visibly stiffened. Even her hair seemed to freeze, his words slowly comprehending. When she spoke he felt like she was dragging a rusty dagger across his chest.

"How do you know that?"

He resisted the urge to scoot his chair away from her. "Uh, you told me. Last night."

"What did I say? What were my exact words?"

"Er - I said you weighed more than usual, and - and you said you were a growing girl, and then your switched it around to 'I'm growing a girl.'"

Her eyes, so useless and yet so menacing, flashed dangerously. Her mouth upturned into a dark scowl. She clutched her armrests like she was going to rise and strike him dead - he, despite being the Firelord, found himself cowering under her - and then she deflated and sank back down, cradling her head in her hands.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I'm knocked up."

He was cautious, but slowly he slid down into a normal seated position. "Congratulations," he said weakly.

Even though she was blind, Toph gave exceptional death glares. "Yeah. Thanks."

He hesitated, but asked anyway. "Who's the father?"

She tried to hide it, but she stifled a sob. "Who do you think?"

"Oh." He was quiet, mostly because he didn't what to say. Sokka, a father? His best friend, a dad? "Does...does he know?"

"No. And I plan on keeping that way, so just keep your big trap shut, all right?"

He frowned, but nodded. "All right. If that's the way you want it."

"It is," she said, but for just a moment he thought he caught doubt flash across her face, and he knew right then that she wanted to tell him. She wanted this life with him.

"Why don't you just do it?"

She closed her eyes. "It's her."

"Who? Suki? They're not together anymore, you know that! He wouldn't have slept with you if they were, anyway."

"I know that, but he still loves her. I know he does."

"But he obviously likes you too, Toph!"

Her eyes flew open and she blushed. "Look. Why am I even talking to you about this?"

He smirked. "Because you flung yourself at me last night."

"Oh, ha, ha," she said, and he smiled, and he remembered that he actually liked her when she wasn't all yelling up in his face. 

"Okay. Maybe I'll...maybe I'll talk to him," she said, standing up and brushing herself off. Zuko noticed that she took care to avoid her stomach, and for the first time he noticed that it was slightly swelled.

"How far along are you?"

"Three months."

"Oh." A pause. "So right when you stopped drinking again."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess."

"Right." Another pause. "Well, at least you're telling him."

"I didn't say that. I said I'd talk to him," she said, and again he caught the doubt on her face.

"If you say so."

She sighed, and year and years of longing washed over her in waves, so visible he could feel it. "Thanks, Zuko."

"Any time," he said, and she gave him a little wave before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her and leaving him alone.

He looked down at the calendar on his desk, examining it for a few moments before putting a small X on that day. Then, leaning back into his chair, he smiled. They'd be together before long. He knew it. Because despite what Toph Beifong said about him, he was pretty good at reading people.

-

Three years later, he got his answer in the mail. It was handed to him by his wife, who smiled and patted his shoulder. It was placed carefully in a blue envelope, and inside was a beautiful teal invitation, written in gold ink.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

Toph Beifong and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe 

On Wednesday, June Twentieth 

"Well?" His wife said. "What do you think?"

He smiled at her, then down at the paper. "I think I was right."


	10. Little Badgermoles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gathers round when Toph is about to give birth.

"Sokka..." Toph whispered, clutching her swollen belly. She let out a moan and winced.

"I'm here, I'm here," Sokka said. He squeezed her pale, slender hand. "It's okay."

Toph nodded, the effort clearly taking a lot from her. She let out a wail. "Augh!" She let go of his hand and punched him. "You did this to me!"

Sokka looked surprised. Behind him, Katara laughed. 

"Well, Toph, I'm proud to say that you are eight centimeters dilated now," she said. Sokka gave her a puzzled look. 

"That's good, right?" 

She nodded. "She'll need to get to ten before the actual pushing begins." She went back over to the makeshift changing table they'd set up in Sokka and Toph's apartment and rearranged a few things.

Toph shrieked in pain. "Get...it...out!"

Sokka chuckled. "Sorry, Toph, but you've still got two more centimeters to go." 

"Urgh," she groaned. She tensed and squeezed his hand tighter. "It hurts, Snoozles."

"I know, I know."

"No, you don't," Toph sighed. She fell back onto her bed, breathing heavily.

Katara glanced over. "If she's feeling up to it, we can bring the rest of them in."

Sokka nodded. "What do you say?"

"Okay."

Katara walked over to the door and opened it. Aang, Zuko, and Suki were sitting in the living room talking. They all fell silent as she approached them.

"How is she doing?" Suki asked nervously.

"She's fine," Katara answered. "In fact, she's doing well enough for a quick visit, so if you all wanted to -"

She was interrupted by a hurricane of people rushing past her and into  
Toph's room. She was sweating on her bed under her blankets. A large bump was visible under the covers.

"Toph!" Suki shouted. She ran over and gave her a hug. Toph moaned and she blushed. "Oops. Sorry."

Aang gave her a huge grin. "How you doing?"

"How do you think?" she grunted. "It's about as fun as getting a beating in the backside."

"I'll bet," Zuko commented. "Good to see you still have time to insult us."

"So what have you all been doing?" Sokka asked, gripping Toph's hand tightly as she let out another moan.

Aang shrugged. "Talking."

"Aang had to slip out for a minute to talk to the babysitter," Suki said.

Katara popped her head over, her eyes flashing in the light. "Why? Are the kids okay?"

She waved her arm. "Yeah, they're fine. Just that she had to pull Lin and Tenzin apart, they were beating each other up."

Katara blushed and Toph paused birthing long enough to laugh hysterically. "Oh, man, that's my kid all right. She threw first punch, right?"

"Unfortunately."

"Izumi almost got involved too, but luckily Bumi and Kya held her back," Aang added.

"And that's our kid," Suki sighed, patting Zuko on the arm. "At least she didn't get involved."

"Are you kidding?" Zuko said, eyeing his wife incredulously. "I'm upset that she didn't! We're gonna have to have a talk with her."

"Uh, hello?" Toph interrupted. "Giving birth here? How about a little attention?" She inhaled sharply and cried out.

Concerned, Katara rushed over to her and gave her a quick examination. She frowned, her lips parted slightly. 

"What?" Sokka asked, the immediate worry in his voice palpable. "What is it?"

"I'm - I'm not sure," she mumbled. Her nimble fingers danced across Toph's fragile body, healing water coating her in liquid silver. "Something doesn't feel right. I can sense it through the water."

He licked his lips. "The baby. Not the baby..?"

"It's not the baby..." she said, looking up. Her eyes were sad. "It's her."

"What?"

"Yeah -" Toph grunted, clasping Sokka's hand "- What?"

"Her body can't handle the pressure," she said. "It's not like with Lin...it's hard to explain, but I'm not sure if she's equipped to deliver again."

"What are you saying?" Suki said. Her hands clawed at Zuko and he held her.

"I'm saying that...I don't know if Toph will survive this birth."

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. The only sound was Toph's labored breathing, her chest rising and falling in a steady fashion. You'd never guess she might've been near the end.

Surprisingly, she did not cry out in alarm or beg for her life. She simply asked, "But will the baby will be safe?"

Katara nodded. "I sense nothing wrong with the child."

Toph sighed, and her thin frame slumped against the back of her bed. "That's all that matters."

"Toph, what?" Sokka cried. "What do you mean that's all that matters?"

"Snoozles, if our baby is safe, then I don't matter," Toph said softly. She put her hand on his cheek. "You'll be okay."

"I need you," he whispered. "I love you."

"And I love you." She kissed him gently. "But our baby needs you more than I do. And if that means I don't live, then that's okay."

She pressed her face against his and laced her fingers into his.

Aang sniffled. Sokka jerked his face away from Toph's and blushed. "I forgot you guys were in here..."

"That's all right," Suki murmured. "It was like you two were the only ones in the room."

"Well, it's not like all hope is lost," Zuko said. "I mean...she could still live, right?"

Katara nodded, but she looked doubtful. "She could. It's hard to tell until it happens."

"Then I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Toph said. She cried out in pain. Katara looked worried and checked her over.

"Well, Toph, you're fully dilated!" She said. "I'll just need her and Sokka, so if you all could..."

Aang nodded, kissing his wife and pushing the rest of the gang out the door.

Katara cracked her knuckles, a steely look coming over her face. "Let's deliver this baby."

Sokka nodded and Toph smiled weakly, her eyes shut tight.

"Pretty soon you won't be pregnant anymore," he joked. "I know you hated it."

"Spirits, yes," she bellowed. "Get this thing out of me!"

Katara smiled. "Don't worry, Lapis. Today is your day to shine."

Toph groaned. "Yeah, shine in sweat." Her face shimmered and glistened with the effort of childbirth.

"Let's get down to business," Katara muttered. She bent over her and went straight to work.

-

It turned out that Toph had more work to do than Katara had anticipated. She moaned and pushed and struggled for hours, Sokka never leaving her side. 

Katara pressed herself, not taking breaks or letting Toph take any. She soon developed a line of sweat along her forehead, but that was no match for Toph's soaked body. 

Her hand gripped the drenched sheets around her while the other one was squeezing Steven's so tight he was turning a cerulean shade of blue. Her face was twisted in a pained expression, tears leaking out of her eyes.

Sokka couldn't bear to see his wife in so much pain, but he knew that the moment it stopped would be the moment her fate was decided. Would she stay or would she leave? Would she live with her child or would she fade away with death?

Toph let out a sob and he shook those thoughts out of his head, turning to comfort her. 

"C'mon, Toph, baby, push!" he would say, his hand slick in a mixture of their sweat. "You're almost there!"

Hour after hour passed until Katara stood up and washed her hands. 

"Okay, you two, I think we're going to have a baby in the next couple pushes," she sighed. "So I'm going to get the table ready and you can..." she drifted off and nodded before walking away, her say goodbye still hanging in the air.

Toph breathed heavily. "Sokka."

He broke his gaze away from Katara and locked his eyes onto her beautiful face. "Yes? I'm here, Toph."

"I-I need you to know," she whispered. "If I don't make it -"

"Toph, don't talk like that!"

"Oh, shut up, I'm trying to be sentimental!" Toph grimaced. A moan escaped her lips before she continued. "If I don't make it, I just want to say that I love you and I always will."

"I love you, too." 

"But just know, when I'm not here, and they are, I won't be gone. I'll still be with you," she whispered. She touched his chest with her trembling fingers. "Right there. Always."

"Always," he repeated softly.

Toph kissed him firmly, a tear escaping her eyes. He broke off the kiss and brushed her bangs out of her face.

"I love you. Toph Beifong, I love you."

Toph nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but a loud groan erupted instead. She clutched her swollen stomach and cried out in pain. 

Katara hurried over and gave her a once over. "Okay, it's time." She looked at her brother sympathetically, then glanced at Toph and sighed. 

"I just want to say, Toph, that it has been... an honor to help you deliver your children," Katara mumbled.

Toph placed her hand on hers. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She winced. "Spirits, I'm being so...affectionate today. It's not me, I swear!"

Sokka, despite his tears, laughed along with his sister. "We know, Toph." 

"Augh!" She cried in response. Katara nodded to herself and leaned down to be level with Toph's legs.

"Good luck," Sokka whispered. 

Thank you, she mouthed through her tears.

"Okay, time to push," Katara muttered. 

Toph moaned and tried her best to do what Katara asked. How had she done this before? Lin had been so easy, such a breeze compared to this one. She supposed that was Sokka's determination shining through. 

She could feel her child, or was that just Katara saying she saw the head? Why was everything so...bleak?

She could just make out Sokka's voice through her ears...but she wasn't crying. Or was she? She couldn't feel anything, couldn't see anything. Was this what giving birth was like? Or was she dying, like Katara had said she might?

Panic swept over Toph. White. Everything was white. All she saw, felt, and breathed was white. White and pale and damp. It was no longer the black horizon she normally saw. Everything was brilliant, blinding white.

Her room faded away from her. Katara was no longer at her feet and Sokka was no longer at her side. She no longer felt the pain that had been with her. She tried to cry out but her voice rebelled. 

Toph knew that she often hid her emotions. Today was the only day that she had let some of herself pour onto everyone else. But right here, right now, she wasn't afraid to admit that she was scared. She wasn't ready to leave her home behind, her friends, her family. The one she had made all on her own.

She felt her body escape its prison. She was being lifted by an invisible force, up and away from everything she had come to love. And despite herself, she felt a sense of peace. Her baby would be all right, Katara had said.

That was all that mattered.

And suddenly she wasn't being lifted anymore. She was back in her room, back on the bed. She was aware of everything. Sokka's hand had returned to hers and Katara was helping her down below. Her black view was back, but she had never been so happy to be blind.

With the color came feelings. Her birthing pains came in a rush, and she let out a shriek. She felt herself push, push harder than she had been. She gave a great heave, and it was if she was regenerating. A lump of something had left her body, she was free of her burden. She heard Katara take in a sharp breath.

Toph breathed deeply. She sighed and let her head fall back onto her pillow. She could no longer feel her belly, so heavy, so weighted.

Wait.

She jerked her head up, her fingers frantically searching. Her stomach was still large, but not nearly as much as it had been. She sat up suddenly.

"Toph?"

Sokka.

"What - what - what happened?"

He sounded like he was in shock. "You were so still, I thought - I thought you were gone, just like - just like Katara said you would, but then you heaved and then - and then - well," he paused, "Well, here she is."

"Who?" 

"Her," Katara said softly, and Toph became aware of the tiny mewing sound coming from her arms.

She came up beside her, smiling. She held out the bundle. "Toph, I'd like you to meet your daughter."

Toph took in a sharp breath as she gently placed a tiny, tiny, baby in her arms. She cradled the child delicately, more gently than she had ever before, stroking her hair softly.

"Toph..." Sokka was in awe. "She's beautiful."

"She is?"

"She looks like you," he said. "That's why she's beautiful."

Toph blushed. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"What color are her eyes?"

He paused, and she could hear the grin in his voice. "Blue."

"Blue," she repeated. "Blue." She smiled and kissed him again.

Katara sighed. "You two were always adorable, but now that you have a kid of your own, well...It just makes it all the better." She cocked her head to the side. "Toph, are you feeling up for a visit?"

She looked up. "Yeah, bring 'em in."

Katara nodded and opened the door. She walked outside and faced Zuko, who had Suki and Aang asleep on either side of him. He didn't look very happy about it, and he stood up when he saw her, causing Aang and Suki to fall and wake up abruptly. 

"What happened?" Suki exclaimed. She caught a glimpse of Katara and paled. "How is she?"

Aang rubbed his eyes. "Is she okay?"

Katara couldn't help it - her face nearly split in two with her smile. "She's the new mother of a baby girl."

Zuko exhaled loudly. Suki gasped and kissed her husband excitedly. Aang leapt up and punched the air. 

"Yeah!" He cried. "I knew she would make it!"

"Did you?" Zuko said. "Because I could have sworn you just came out of the Avatar State after trying to plead with the Spirits not to take her."

Aang blushed and faced his wife, his hands shrugging. "Yes, well...just an extra precaution."

Katara rolled her eyes, but she was too thrilled to be annoyed. "Well, whatever you did, it must've worked. She's ready for you to come and see her now."

They leapt to their feet and followed her into the bedroom, where Toph laid on the bed next to Sokka, both of them holding their daughter.

"Oh," Suki gasped. "She's gorgeous. Congratulations, you guys."

Sokka smiled at her gratefully. "Thanks."

"Have you decided on any names?"

They looked at each other - or rather, Sokka looked at Toph and she put her fingers on his face. Then they both stared at their baby.

"Suyin," Toph said. "Suyin Beifong."

Everyone smiled at the name and whispered their congratulations, mulling around the room. Toph didn't want to let go, but Katara insisted, taking Suyin over to the changing table and gently washing and clothing her.

Sokka leaned against his wife, stroking her raven hair softly. "You did it."

"I did it," she said, heaving the words like one big sigh. "I did it."

"You have two daughters now."

She sighed again, then reached over and punched him on the arm.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Never knock me up again, Snoozles," she sneered. "I'm so not doing that ever again."

He laughed. "No promises, Toph," he said, leaning down and kissing the crown of her head. "I plan on taking you in my arms and never, ever letting go."

"I guess that doesn't sound too bad," she replied, resting her head under his arm.

"Hey, you two," Katara said, coming over to them, carrying Suyin. "Here. Have a baby."

"I just did," Toph smirked, but she allowed Katara to nestle the baby into her arms. She was now wrapped in a downy blanket, though her head remained untouched. She touched it gently; it was so soft.

Sokka bent down to kiss the child's sleeping face, then kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

"I love you," she said, then shoved him away playfully, a smile dancing across her face. "Now enough mush. Bring my other kid in, will you?"

Katara laughed and nodded, walking out the door to the next bedroom, where Bumi, Kya, Lin, Tenzin, and Izumi were awaiting the arrival of their cousin. Suki watched her go, then came over to the bed and sat down next to Sokka.

"Hello, Suyin," she cooed, poking her finger through the baby's hand. "Hi, baby. It's your Auntie Suki! Yes, it is!"

Toph smiled. Suki switched to tracing her finger down Suyin's face. 

"She'll look great in Kyoshi makeup," she said. "I can picture her now."

"YAHHHHHH!"

Bumi shrieked as he ran into the bedroom, followed closely by Kya and Izumi. Tenzin came next, his arms out as if in flight. Lin was last, and she came in almost sheepishly, her arms curling around the doorframe. 

"Where's the baby? Where's the baby?" Bumi shouted, clawing at his mother. "Did Aunt Toph have the baby?"

"Is it a girl or a boy?" Kya asked, tugging at her dress.

"Mama?" Tenzin added.

"Mommy! Daddy! I can fly!" Izumi said, throwing herself at Zuko and Suki. 

"Linny," Sokka called out. "Come meet your new sister!"

Lin shyly approached her mother's bedside, where Toph held out Suyin for her to see. She gasped, her tiny face lifting up in delight. 

"What do you think, Lin?"

"She's pretty!" She breathed. Sokka grinned and kissed her hair.

"Come here," he said, and Lin eagerly climbed up onto the covers, curling up next to her mother. Sokka put his arm around Toph, and Lin stuck her finger through her hand.

"I love you," she murmured. "My husband," she kissed Sokka, "and my little badgermoles."

And they all hugged each other tightly, a family complete at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl this one might be my fave


	11. Heartbeats

When Toph was twelve years old, she had witnessed a kiss. She remembers is very vividly, whether she likes it or not. Sometimes the memory will swoop down upon her when she least expects it and sink its claws into her heart and refuse to leave. Those are the bad days.

It had happened very quickly and very slowly at the same time. She and her friends had been traveling to Ba Sing Se on foot because of their missing bison. They were used to traveling together, but this time they had had a new member. She remembers how she felt when she first felt her heartbeat, so lively and bouncing. And she remembers his, too. It skipped four beats, then began going very fast. She had scowled, and knew then and there that she did not like this new girl.

Suki.

If that hadn't been bad enough, she had decided to accompany them as they went through Serpent's Pass, a narrow little strip of land that was just wide enough to carry two people side by side. Aang walked with Katara, and the couple that was with them walked beside each other. Suki took Toph's usual place beside Sokka. She could hear them talking and laughing and flirting together the whole way.

She was alone. She did not like it.

This had not changed throughout the course of the day. Suki kept her place at Sokka's hip, and she remained solitary. She remembers how that night had gone. She had been in her tent, trying to get over the embarrassment of kissing Suki, believing her to be Sokka. How could she have been so stupid, so idiotic? She had laid there, her eyes shut tight, when she'd felt the vibrations of a person running away from the camp. Then another person. She didn't have to see to be able to know who they were.

Stop, she'd told herself. Don't go. It'll only make you hurt more.

She didn't listen. She ran after them.

Quietly as she could, she crept up behind them, shielding herself with a rock. It didn't matter. She would've heard them if she hadn't felt them.

The voices. The tenderness. The sound of lips pressed against other lips.

Her heart turned to lead.

She ran away as fast as she could, her eyes overflowing with tears, but she managed to wait until she was safely locked away in her tent for her to sob. Huge, jarring sobs, so unlike any that she'd ever heaved before. Her body had curled into a tiny ball in the corner until the sun had risen.

In the morning she'd acted as though nothing had happened. Aang and Katara, if they noticed anything, said nothing. But she knew. She sensed their closeness, their gentleness. Their attraction. It didn't matter to her that she liked him. It mattered that he liked her back.

She tried to reason with herself. Had she really expected him to like her? He was strong and smart and brave, and she was, too. Didn't people always say that opposites attracted? Maybe they were too much alike. That was it. This didn't make her any happier, and she now had to feel them express their feelings with the thought that she wasn't good enough lodged in her throat.

But then Suki had stayed behind, saying she had to get back to her warriors or whatever. Toph hadn't really been paying attention, and she didn't realize that she would be leaving until she was gone. Sokka was disappointed at first, that much was obvious, but she could sense his worry leaving him behind. He became more carefree and happy with each step away from the pass. She reclaimed her place beside him, once more feeling the thrill of having her fingers brush against his.

They didn't mention Suki again, not for a long, long time, and for a while Toph wondered if he ever even thought about her. She did, very, very much. And very often. Would she come back? Would she return? Would she have to again give up her friends for an outsider? Would she again have to walk alone?

These thoughts consumed her, day in and day out, and every time she thought she'd chased them away they returned in her nightmares. 

She told herself she was being stupid. How could she worry about such a small, insignificant thing when the world was coming to an end? She tried to focus on Aang, and what he needed.

Then Zuko came in. He dropped to his knees and begged for forgiveness, pleading to let him join their group. He wasn't lying, that much she could tell, but no one else believed her. They shunned Zuko, drove him away from them. So she had no choice but to follow him to his own camp and try to talk to him.

Well. That was a mistake. He had burned her feet - on accident, maybe, but she could no longer tell if this was the truth. She decided to shun him, too, and crawled back to the Western Air Temple.

When she told the others what had happened, they had scolded her - Katara in particular - but they mostly turned their attention onto her feet. She already had enough trouble getting around, but now how would she see without her Earthbending?

Sokka gave her the answer. He volunteered to carry her around, and suddenly Toph found herself being held in the arms of the very person she wanted the most. She didn't hesitate to curl into his chest, to lean against him. He didn't protest, instead cradling her gently. 

Even though this was the best thing that had ever happened to her, she remained suspicious. Why wasn't he putting up a fight? He had volunteered so easily, without even thinking about it. She had found that strange.

She remembers one particular day, when he had set her down near Zuko and then walked away, promising to be back soon. Zuko had been hesitant, but she could feel his worry and found it amusing, amd had beckoned him over with a smirk on her face. His gratefulness had poured off him in waves.

When Sokka had come back, he had found Toph leaning on Zuko's shoulder, both of them laughing hysterically. She remembers that she had stopped abruptly, sensing, even from thirty feet away, his anger, his frustration, his... jealousy. He had stormed over to them, shoving her off of Zuko and dragging him over to a corner. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she felt Sokka's heartbeat, racing to the speed of sound, and his voice, his anger carrying over to her. She heard Zuko's laugh, felt his assurance. Whatever he said must've worked, because Sokka immediately calmed down, relived. 

Sometimes she still remembers that day. She remembers her confusion the most. 

As her feet began to heal, she spent less and less time being carted around, much to her dismay. But with her health came her senses, and she made a surprising discovery when she felt Sokka's heartbeat. It always sped up when she was near him. She would feel his eyes lock onto her, and that was it. His pulse would race. 

Why? Spirits only knew, but she embraced this newfound possibility that she might, just might, stand a chance. She kept it locked away, tucked gently in her heart, where she could revisit it whenever she wanted. And of course he always got a taste when he came near her.

It was extremely strong one day, when he presented her with a meteorite. She had carefully examined it, her fingers dancing across it nimbly. She had said she loved it, and he had smiled. His heartbeat had been pulsing.

She smiles in return now, seventy years later, as she reaches up and touches the betrothal necklace wrapped around her neck, the soft ribbon caressing her skin. It's hard and brittle, made from the meteorite and carved by him, his careful hands.

She is no longer jealous of Suki, for why should she be? Suki is happily married to another, and she had been so happy for her when she had announced their engagement. No, Suki is a friend, a source of comfort, especially in the years since he has passed.

His heartbeat is no longer around; it's been gone for nearly thirty years. Her heart has a hole, one that can never be filled up. But traces of it can be filled every other month, when her daughters come to visit her. 

One of them may not have his genes, but she is his all the same. She lets her face go soft whenever her eldest is around, she reminds her of him so.

Her youngest, however, is almost overwhelming. Her walk, her breathing, her structure. Her heartbeat. It's his. All his. All his.

Sokka may be gone, but whenever Suyin is there, he returns to her. Ans her heart nearly bursts with longing. A little sad, but maybe a little hopeful, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't my favorite, but I hope you liked it!


	12. Used to be Hers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph and Sokks have had a secret thing going on for a long time, but when Sokka and Suki's wedding rolls around, Toph decides she's had enough

Toph can't see, but she can feel. To much, it seems sometimes. It gets overwhelming when there's so many people around, all of them with hearts and pulses and feelings and she can decipher them all. And she does. But she wishes she doesn't. So many emotions and feelings and thoughts morphing into one giant bubble that bulges and thrives in her mind. It's enough to drive anyone crazy, but she deals with it. Mainly because there are some perks. She'll never forget the day she told Katara she was pregnant with Bumi, the sheer joy that had vibrated off of her in waves.

It's a painful burden to carry, though, especially when it's at her best friend's wedding. Especially when, not even twenty four hours previously, she could say that the groom was hers.

But he's not. Not anymore. He used to be, though. For a long time, he was the only person she ever let herself spill onto, the only person she trusted with her entire being. But then he had poured this on her, and she had had no choice. Of course she hadn't. 

She closes her eyes and tries to breathe. In and out. Back and forth. It helps, but only a little. She picks at her dress, which is green according to Katara, who has also done her hair up in a fancy bun. The dress feels gauzy and light, and it settles in her figure like a cloud. Not that she'll ever admit it, but she likes feeling pretty for a change. Really pretty.

Someone approaches her, and she gives a start when she realizes who it is. It's him.

"Toph?"

She sighs. She's been expecting him to come up to her, to try and talk to her, but what does it matter? They're getting married. Nothing he can say will changed that.

"What?"

"I..." he coughs. "Listen. Can - can we talk?"

"I thought we already talked. I thought we were done talking."

"I have more I want to say."

"Well, I don't. I've already said what I needed to say." She raises her hand in a universal 'I'm done' gesture.

Sokka huffs, and she smirks. She knows she can always get him with that.

"Please? Suki doesn't have to know. No one will notice if we slip out for a minute."

"No one will notice?" She laughs, but it's cruel and cold, so unlike her normal laugh. "You're going to stand here and try to convince me here, at your wedding, where you're getting married in half an hour, that no one will notice if you're gone?"

He says nothing, but she can sense his heartbeat racing. He's thinking, making a decision. She has to stop him before he makes the wrong one.

Grabbing his hand and ignoring his grunt of surprise, she drags him outside the building, which she knows is decorated with flowers and lace and probably looks beautiful. She hates it for that.

Once they've reached the cliffside, she stops and lets go of his hand and faces the horizon. At least, what she hopes is the horizon. It's harder to tell where things are when she's upset.

"You want to talk?" She says. "Let's talk."

He lets out a long sigh. She can sense him right behind her, as she has so, so, so many times. But this time is different. This time he doesn't belong to her.

"Why did you do it?" He finally asks, and the pain in his voice nearly breaks her. "Why did you end it?"

"You know why."

"No, I really don't. I've been trying to understand, I really have. But I just can't! Why, Toph?"

"You love her. Don't deny it, you know you do!"

"Why do you always bring Suki into this? Yeah, we have history. But I don't want her in my life like that."

"Yes, you do. You still care about her."

"Of course I care about her! I care about her, and Aang, and Zuko, and Katara! I care about you, Toph! Why can't you see that?"

She whips around to face him, the wind making her look wild. "It's not the same! It's not, and there's nothing I can do to change that!"

"I can change it! Toph, Suki still means a lot to me. She does. But I don't love her anymore. I don't!"

"This is exactly why I broke up with you! Don't you see? This is why! We were running around, practically behind her back! And the thing is -" she exhales, except it's more like a sob. "- the thing is, I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I can't get you out of my head, or my heart! You're stuck here, even when I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to get you out!"

He takes in a shaky breath, and when he speaks, it sounds like a feathery breeze, so soft and gentle that no one would believe it could tear down mountains. "Why? Why are you trying?"

"Because you're not mine! You're not, not anymore. You're hers." 

"Toph!" Lightning cracks behind him just as he screams her name, and it's so bright even she can see it, the white outline of a jagged line. Thunder booms, and droplets of water begin pouring from the clouds. The sky is crying, and she feels like joining it. 

"Toph," he says again, and there's a sob in his voice, and it's so awful she hopes she never has to hear it again. "Toph, please. Please don't do this. I love you."

"Do you?" she whispers. "Do you?"

"Yes," he breathes, clasping her hands into his. "With all my heart, Toph. I love you."

That's it. She can't keep it in any longer, and just as thunder booms again she wails, a sound so horrible, so terrible, so sad, she doesn't know if she's ever let out such a sound before. It's a wail of sorrow, and she pours her mind and soul into that wail. It gets louder and louder and louder and then she peaks - she's gone, and the only sound is the muffled sobs she cries into his chest. 

She doesn't know how she got here, cupped in Sokka's arms, crying her heart out, she doesn't know, but she's not complaining. For so many years this was her safe place. 

"Shh," he whispers, stroking her hair, gathering her in his arms. "Shh. It's okay. I'm here."

All she wants is to stay here, in this moment, in this bubble, but it's shattered when she hears footsteps approaching. Quickly Sokka lets go of her, and for a split second she wonders who it is to have him become so proper so fast. Then she stops wondering. Who else could it be?

"Sokka?" Suki says, coming closer. "What's going on?"

"Suki!" he says, a little too loudly. Toph struggles to sit up, as she had plunked to the ground when Sokka dropped her. "What - what are you doing? It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!"

She must be in her dress, she thinks. Well, then.

"Yeah, um... about that," Suki says, and Toph can sense her pulse racing. She's going to say something big, she can feel it. Then her heart skips a beat.

"Toph, do you, ah... can I talk to Sokka? Alone?"

She stands up, brushing herself off, trying to hide her mascara stained cheeks and disheveled hair. "Um. Yeah, sure. Don't need my permission."

Suki laughs nervously, like she's thinking she might. "Okay. Thanks."

Toph walks to the nearest door, opens it, and dashes inside to find Katara. It doesn't take long. 

"Toph!" She exclaims, and from the sound of her voice she's been drinking. "What's for... what's happening?"

"Ugh." She recoils at the smell of her breath. "On second thought, where's Zuko?"

She points sloppily towards the altar, where in ten minutes Sokka and Suki are supposed to be proclaimed husband and wife. She feels Zuko's heartbeat through the ground, and darts toward it.

"Zuko," she gasps when she gets there, and she surprises herself by falling into his arms and biting back her tears. She's had enough of crying today. "Zuko, help me."

"Toph?" He says, confused. He hands his drink to Mai, who's beside him, and struggles to lift her to her feet. "What's going on?"

"Sokka," she manages, flopping like a fish in his robes. "And Suki."

"What? Are they okay?" He's instantly on alert, and who can blame him? That would be her reaction too. "Where are they?"

"Out... outside. But, Zuko -"

She doesn't finish. He grabs her arm and drags her outside, stopping at every corner to look for Sokka and Suki. Finally he slows down, and she knows they must have reached their destination. 

"They're fine." His tone is accusatory, and he lets go of her hand. For the third time today she is dropped to ground.

"Yeah, no kidding," she mutters, standing up. "If you'd let me finish, I'd tell you that they're fine. They're arguing."

"Arguing?" He pauses, and she knows he must be watching them carefully. Over the years Zuko gas become quite good at reading people. "Yeah, they are. I can't hear what they're saying, though. Do you think they're calling off the wedding?"

Hope flashes through Toph like a beacon on a dark night. She scolds herself. No. He can't be doing such a stupid thing. He needs to marry Suki, he deserves happiness. He doesn't deserve... her.

"Shh!" He says suddenly, though she hasn't even said anything. "They're... they're finishing up. They're hugging each other. She pulled away first. She's... she's taking off her betrothal necklace!"

She can't help the gasp that escapes her. Luckily Zuko attributes it to the overall shock of the situation. 

"He's coming over here. Er -"

"He's coming over?" she asks, her voice strangely high. "He's coming? Over here?"

"Uh, yeah? Oh, wait, he's shouting something. I think... I think he's calling for you, Toph."

She hardly dares to breathe, straining her ears, desperate to hear. 

There it is. 

"Toph!"

Zuko straightens up. "Um, I'm just gonna... go back inside." He hurries away.

Toph barely feels him leave. The only thing she's aware of is his footsteps, walking at first, then breaking into a run. His heart pulses faster and faster, calling her name more desperately, more urgently -

And then he's here. Right in front of her. Standing right in front of her.

"Toph," he says, no longer needing to shout.

"Sokka," she replies, and he laughs.

"Toph," he says again, and he gathers her in his arms, and she doesn't hesitate to sink into them, to breathe in his beautiful, Sokka scent, to feel his smooth, tanned skin under her fingertips.

She lifts her head, and he lowers his, and she touches their foreheads together. And she knows that he's hers. Finally.

She smiles under his lips as he bends to kiss her under the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one kind of hurt, but I made sure they ended up together bc there are too many fics for tokka that are angsty. I couldn't take it any more lol


	13. Bumi's Prediction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Suki breaks up with Sokka, he thinks his life is over. Little does he know a surprise is waiting for him when he arrives on Air Temple Island for a reunion.

Kyoshi Island was nice, no one could argue against that. With its crystal clear sky, the glassy blue lake, and the lush green forest, it was like something out of a fairy tale, like a dream come true, straight from the pages of the tattered book that Katara used to beg their mother to read to them. He still remembered the ratty pages, filled to the brim with tales of lost kingdoms and ancient benders and magical places, just like this one.

Sokka couldn't deny it was beautiful, and it did have its perks. Suki was here with him, for Spirit's sake. But it was missing something, something big. Someone big. His friends, his family, weren't with him. They were off doing their own thing, having their own adventures. Busy leading their own lives.

Granted, some of them had no choice. Aang was the Avatar, after all, and it wasn't like he could just take off for weeks at a time. Occasionally he would drop in for a day or two, but never longer than that, and his visits were filled with rushed conversations and worried tones. Katara almost never came with him; she had to stay on Air Temple Island with their children, and to make sure the place didn't fall apart while her husband was gone. That didn't mean that Sokka didn't miss her. He hadn't seen her in almost four years, since Kya was born. He hadn't even met Tenzin yet. 

Then there was Zuko, who had his own case. It wasn't like he could just leave, but being the Firelord meant that sometimes, if he gave enough notice in advance, he could leave the nation in the hands of Mai, who was very capable of running a country all by herself and by far the best Fire Lady they had ever seen. He would stop at Air Temple Island to visit with Aang and Katara for a while, then he would come by Kyoshi and share their news with him and Suki, who were always anxious for stories about their family. Finally he would head for Republic City, where Toph spent her days.

Toph was a whole other story. She didn't have any ties holding her down, other than the police force, and Lin. But she could easily take a week or two off and let her second in command take control for a little while. Lin was about Tenzin's age, and they were both over one year old, so he didn't see what was holding her back. She was the one he missed most of all. Like Katara, he hadn't seen her since long before the birth of her daughter. Sometimes, for no reason at all, he would ponder what she looked like now. It had been almost four years - was she older looking? Did her hair have streaks of gray? What about Lin? Did she look like her mother? 

He shook his head of these thoughts. He would find out soon enough, he was certain. If he didn't just give in and go visit them all himself, he was positive his sister wouldn't be able to stand it any longer. She grew very anxious when it got to be over a year since they'd all seen each other.

Sure enough, one rainy morning on the Island, a messenger brought him and Suki a letter. He snatched it up before she even saw the return address, hiding it from her view. He laughed triumphantly, expecting her to try and grab it, but she just glared at him.

"What's wrong?" 

She sighed. "Just...do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"That," she said, and stared at him expectantly, like that should clear everything up. He faltered and she bit her lip.

"Never mind." She put on a false smile. "What's the letter say?"

He looked at her suspiciously, but tore open the envelope and scanned it quickly. His eyes brightened. "It's from Katara. She...she wants us to come and visit!"

"Really?" Suki said. "Let me see."

This time he didn't hesitate to give her the letter, almost shoving it into her hands in his haste. She rolled her eyes and read it, her face falling with each word.

"What is it? Did I miss something? Is everyone all right?" He asked anxiously.

"No, no, everyone's fine," she assured him. "It's just..." She pursed her lips. "She wants us to come and visit."

He stared at her like she was missing the joke. "Yeah! That's great, isn't it? We can see everyone again, it's been so long."

"Yeah." 

"What's your problem? Don't you want to go?"

She let out a long breath and glanced up, like she'd been waiting for him to ask that question for a long time, which was stupid, because they'd only just gotten the letter. 

And yet...the look on her face suggested that there was something beyond the letter, something she'd been thinking about for some time now, something Katara's request had brought to the surface. He studied her for a moment. Her eyes were always changing color, sometimes purple, sometimes green. Today they were stormy grey, the kind of eyes that warned people to back off. They were full of longing, and anger, and...regret.

"No," she said. "I don't."

They were quiet for a long time, standing in the entrance of their little hut, staring at each other, each one afraid to break their gaze first for fear of what the other might do. Finally Sokka narrowed his eyes and took in a breath.

"What are you saying?"

Suki spoke quickly now, like she was scared he might try to stop her. "Look, Sokka, I've been waiting for the right time to bring this up, but it's been...like, it....it just hasn't happened yet, but now I can tell you what I've been thinking. I've been thinking... well, I think we should take - take a break, or something. Like, not be together anymore? And I can't go with you, we can't go and travel, because I just... can't, okay, because then you might try to change my mind and I can't have that... you're... I know what I'm doing is right and I can't have you pretending that it's not... not when you know it too."

He was stunned, and it took him a moment to get his bearings enough to respond. "Wha - What?"

"Don't you see?" She said, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinched, disbelief written across his face. Her hand dropped. "It's been falling apart for so long, Sokka. I can't take this any more. This isn't a relationship, this is just... two people pretending, two people keeping up appearances."

Sokka backed up a few steps, his hand shell up in defense. "I don't understand."

Her voice dripped with sympathy. "I think you do. I just think you don't want to."

"Suki... why... I don't..."

"Don't you?" She pressed. "Don't you, Sokka? What about all those lonely nights? What about when I started sleeping in a separate bedroom? What about when we started going everywhere apart? What about how we barely even spend any time together anymore? What about that?"

He was speechless, his mouth gaping open at her like a fish out of water. He didn't want to believe her. She was lying, of course she was. Was she?

"Neither of us minded that we were growing apart, Sokka," she whispered. "We didn't even care. What does that say?"

"I - you - we've been busy, that's all!" He spluttered desperately. "Suki, please, don't do this."

"I'm sorry, Sokka. Truly, I am," she said. "But this is not one sided. You know that, deep down."

The horrible, depressing, awful thing was, she was right. All those things she'd said - they were true. And he hadn't minded. Not one bit. He'd barely even noticed.

"Yeah," he sighed, extending the word in one long breath, his hands at his sides dejectedly. "I know."

She hesitated, but held out her arms. He sank into them, and they hugged tightly. A last goodbye to their past, to all the things that had made them who they were. A farewell to what was gone.

He broke away first. She let him go, still holding onto herself like she was afraid to let go.

"You can still come, you know," he said wryly. "We don't have to go together."

"I have enough to do here," she said, and her tone suggested that going would be too much for her. "You go ahead, though. You don't need my permission."

"No," he agreed. "Not anymore."

They looked at each other, and an understanding passed between them. Sokka nodded one last time before heading to his room to pack a suitcase. He was finally going home.

-

He had barely gotten off the ferry, his suitcase still in hand, when a tanned, brunette, familiar-smelling person barreled into him, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"Sokka! You're here!"

He laughed, embracing her so tightly he lifted her off her feet, swinging her around. "Missed you too, Katara."

She beamed, and he set her down. Her eyes flitted to his side, then back to his face, and he braced himself for the question he knew was coming.

"Where's Suki?"

He sighed, throwing his arm around her shoulder as they began walking up the path to her house. "It's a long story."

He started at the beginning, the parts he hadn't given much thought too before, but were suddenly rushing back to him. How Suki had stopped sleeping with him, how they'd stopped spending time together, and how they hadn't minded at all. Then he told her about how Suki had sprung all this onto him, and his realization that she was right. He finished just as they reached her front gate, and Katara had an astonished look on her face.

"So... that's it?" She asked, opening the gate. "You guys are done? For... for good?"

"Yep." Sokka was surprised to find that there was no regret in his voice. Sadness, maybe, but that was understandable. "I guess so."

Katara seemed to have seen it too, for she gave him a strange look and closed the gate. "Well, as long as you're not too upset."

"I'm not," he said, and as he said it he realized it was true. He wasn't upset. At least, not about them splitting up. He was more upset... that he wasn't upset about it. He frowned, and his sister noticed his face. 

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just..." He shook his head and tried to think if the words to explain it. "I thought I would be crushed that she basically dumped me, right? Isn't that what's supposed to happen when someone breaks up with you? I mean, I wouldn't know, I've been with her since I was fifteen! I just... now..."

"You just always thought you guys would eventually get married?" Katara guessed. "And you look at me and Aang, and Zuko and Mai, and now you don't know what you're supposed to do?"

He looked at her, amazed. "How did you know?"

"I'm smart," she replied matter-of-factly, but she put her hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry that you're done, Sokka. But this only proves that you guys weren't meant to be together."

"But for such a long time, I thought we were," he said miserably. "And now... you're right. Now I'm not sure what to do."

She spread her hands out like she was offering him the world. "Now you can live your life. You can do whatever you want. Maybe you can meet someone else. Someone who's perfect for you. The right one."

"You really think so?"

She smiled. "I know so."

He glanced at the ground, then met her eyes again. "Thanks, Katara."

"Anytime." She opened the gate for real and ushered him inside. "Aang and the kids are all inside, and Zuko and Mai are taking a walk, they should be back in a bit."

"Okay." He walked in front of her, then tilted his head and turned around. "What about Toph?" 

"Oh, she won't be here until tomorrow. She couldn't get off until then."

"Huh." He resumed entering the house, trying to shake off the feeling that this information bothered him. How silly would that be? She would be here soon. And yet for some reason he felt antsy that she wasn't with him right at that moment.

"Why?" Katara asked, a sly grin on her face.

"Oh. Uh, I don't know. No reason, I guess."

"Uh, huh," she murmured, but allowed him to walk past her.

That was weird, he thought. But he didn't have any time to ponder it.

As soon as he opened the door he was again nearly knocked to the ground one - two - three - four times, once for each niece and nephew. The fourth one actually did force him onto the floor, and he laughed as they attacked him.

"Uncle Sokka! Uncle Sokka!" They crowed, and he could just make out each of their faces as they tackled him. There was Bumi, seven years old, with his mane of wild hair; Kya, age four, her crystal blue eyes matching the mischievous look of her father; Izumi, five years old, her dark hair whipping around her laughing face; and Tenzin, only one, whose "Uncle Sokka!" was more of a strange gurgle. 

"Whoa, guys," he laughed as Kya pulled on his ponytail. "Hey, watch it, there, kid!"

"I didn't know you were opening a jungle gym, Sokka," a voice said, and he peeked through Izumi and Bumi to see Zuko and Mai standing above him.

"It's only for paying guests," he replied, and Zuko chuckled. He roared playfully and the kids shrieked with laughter, scattering in all directions. Mai held out her hand and he grabbed it, standing up and brushing himself off. He kissed her on the cheek and clapped Zuko on the back.

"Good to see you guys," he said. "It's been way too long."

"Yeah, I was almost starting to miss you," Zuko said.

He rolled his eyes comically. "Nice to know."

Mai smirked at them as she went to pick Izumi up. "Come on, I think you need a bath. You're starting to smell worse than your father."

The little girl giggled and pointed at Zuko. "Mommy says you stink, Daddy!"

"Mommy's sense of smell is ruined by her own perfume!" Zuko called out after them. Their laughter echoed down the hallway and Katara smiled.

"Such a loving family, that one," she said fondly as Aang came in, his face alight with joy.

"Sokka!" He cried, flinging himself into his arms. "I missed you, man!"

"Yeah, I missed you too, buddy," he grunted. "But get off. Please."

"Oh. Yeah, sorry," he said, easing himself off of him. "But hey! You're here!"

"I'm here," he agreed.

Aang smiled and kissed Katara on the cheek. Sokka mimed gagging and Zuko smirked. "Oogie!"

Kya, Bumi, and Tenzin laughed with delight at his words and began chasing each other around - meaning Bumi chased Kya and Tenzin toddled after him - repeating the word "Oogie!" over and over again. Tenzin came over to Sokka and he picked him up.

"Oh, great," Zuko groaned. "Now look what you did."

"Shut up, I think it's cute," Katara said, swatting his arm.

"Now," he muttered. "Wait two hours, then we'll see what's cute."

She made a face at him, stroking Kya's hair as she came up and tugged on her skirts. "Oogie, Mommy."

"That's right, honey," she said, kissing Aang. Bumi and Kya squealed.

"Okay, I think that's enough Oogies for now," Sokka said, shifting Tenzin from his right hip to his left. "Bedtime."

"Aw, mom!" Bumi whined, turning to his mother. "Do we have to? What about Aunt Toph?"

"She'll be here tomorrow, Bumi, remember? I told you."

"Oh." He pouted, his arms crossed like Toph being late was the most offensive thing anyone had ever done. "Why isn't she here now? Aunt Toph is my favorite!"

"Hey, what about me?" Sokka complained, ruffling Bumi's hair. He gazed up at him adoringly.

"You're my favorite uncle," he said. "Aunt Toph is my favorite aunt."

"Ah, I see." He nodded his approval, but the little boy wasn't finished.

"Uncle Sokka and Aunt Toph!" He squealed, clapping his hands together. "You guys are awesome! You should get married!"

"Oh. Um..." Sokka scratched his head. "Uh, what?"

"Do you love Aunt Toph?" He demanded. "You should. I love Aunt Toph. You should marry her and have babies! More cousins!"

Sokka glanced around, at a loss for words. Katara was biting her lip to keep from laughing. Zuko raised his eyebrow. Aang gave a sheepish little shrug, like What are you gonna do? 

"I don't think so, bud," he finally stammered, and Bumi's face fell.

"Why not?" He asked stubbornly. 

"I..." he trailed off, his hands held up in defeat. Katara couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing, Aang along with her. Even Zuko seemed to be holding back his amusement.

"You guys suck," he muttered, though he wasn't sure if they heard over their roars. 

"Okay, okay, okay," Katara gasped, clutching her side. "Enough matchmaking, Bumi. Time for bed."

"What's matchmaking, Mommy?" He asked, and her chuckle could be heard as she escorted him down the hallway.

Aang punched Sokka on the arm playfully. "Hey, congratulations on your engagement, dude!"

"Shut up." He desperately hoped that he wasn't blushing as much as he thought. They would never let him live it down if they thought... if they thought...

"Can I be the flower girl?" Aang was asking. "Zuko! You can be the ring bearer!"

"If you don't mind, Sokka, I think I would rather be the flower girl," he smirked, waggling his eyebrows. "But what about you? Would you care to be the bride?"

"You'd make a radiant bride! And Toph would be your knight in shining armor!"

"Better watch out for what Suki says, she just might challenge Toph. Now there's a fight I'd pay to see."

"Yeah, she'll beat the heck out of Toph if she even so much as breathes in your direction."

"Hey, where is Suki, anyway?"

"I didn't see her come in."

"Is she still by the docks?"

"She's probably out for a run or something."

"Where is she, Sokka?"

He blinked. Their questions had all blurred into one, speaking so fast it made his head spin.

"Uh, what?"

"Suki," Aang said patiently, like he was the parent and Sokka was the child. "Where is she?"

"Oh, um..." he sighed. They would have to find out sooner or later. "Actually, I'm not really sure. We split up."

"What?" They yelled in unison, their eyes bulging and jaws unhinged.

Zuko regained his composure first and looked away awkwardly. "Well, er, sorry about that."

"Yeah," Aang coughed. "Sorry, man."

"Thanks" he said curtly, and before waiting for them to say anything else he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway to the guest bedroom. He plunked his suitcase down on the bed and laid back, sighing.

Their fake pity was the last thing he wanted right now. Just because they'd been with their soulmates since the beginning of time didn't mean they had to make fun of him. They didn't understand, they'd never been with anyone else. Suki had been his girlfriend since he was fifteen years old. Katara was right.

What was he supposed to do now?

-

The next morning was a flurry of activity, as was in any household with four kids under the age of ten and five weary adults who had been up since the crack of dawn.

"Izumi, stop hogging the mirror, it's my turn!"

"You look yucky, why would you want to look at that?"

"Move - ergh - over, Bumi, I need my towel!"

"Yeah? Well now it's my towel!"

"You don't even need a towel! You're not wet!"

"Neither are you!"

"But it's mine, I want it!"

"Bumi, give her the towel or I'll hit you with mine!"

"I'll hit you both!"

"Kids!" Katara shrieked, her tired face popping into the bathroom doorframe. "It's seven in the morning, please be a little quiet, Tenzin's still -"

"WAAAAAHHHH!"

She hung her head. "UGH." She left, her feet plopping down one at a time as she made her way to the baby's room. 

Zuko was next in the bathroom. "All right, all of you, out. It's my turn."

"Dad, no, I still gotta go!"

"Me, too!"

"Me, too!"

"Go use Uncle Sokka's bathroom!"

"He says it's off limits!"

"Well, now it's on limits! Just go, okay, I'll handle him."

The kids pouted, but trudged to the bathroom next to Sokka's room.

"AUUGH - Bumi, Kya, Izumi - WHAT are you DOING?"

"Uncle Zuko said we could use this bathroom!"

"Uncle Zuko was wrong! Get out!"

"But -"

"First rule of living with Uncle Sokka - always KNOCK!"

"Where are your clothes, Uncle Sokka?"

"OUT!"

The kids squealed with laughter, their voices growing quieter as they moved on to Aang and Katara's bedroom. He heard Aang's shout of surprise and suppressed a laugh.

"Sokka, have you - Sokka! Spirits, what are you doing?"

He whipped around. Katara was standing in the doorway, baby Tenzin in her arms, screaming his head off. He felt his face heat up.

"Katara! What are YOU doing?"

"Asking you where Tenzin's pacifier is, he won't shut up unless he has it - where are your clothes?"

"Get out!"

"But have you seen -"

"Scram!"

"It'll take two seconds, come on -"

"Zuko and Mai's room, third drawer on the right, now LEAVE!"

"Put some pants on!" She yelled, laughing as she left. He watched her go, sighing in exasperation.

"I'm flattered, Sokka, but I'm taken."

His eyes widened as he turned around for a third time. "Mai!"

She smirked and flicked his shoulder playfully as she went into the room Kya and Izumi shared.

"You'll scar the children if you don't cover up!" She called out as he slammed the door.

"Yeah, well they've already seen me!" He yelled back. He had barely shut the door when he heard the doorknob jiggling. Cursing, he stomped over to it and ripped it wide open without even checking to see who it was. What did it matter? Practically everyone present had already seen him in his birthday suit in less than five minutes. 

"Hey, Snoozles."

All the color drained out of his face. Only one person called him Snoozles, and she was the last person he expected to be knocking on the door. 

"Toph?!"

"Who else? Move over, it was a long ass trip and I gotta pee."

"Wha - Bu - You - You're not mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad, I just got here! What did you do?"

With a start he remembered that she was blind. He couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him.

"Why are you so worked up? Katara told me to come in here, she said you'd be done by now, but -" her face turned a shade of boiling red "- Oh Spirits - you're - you're wearing clothes, aren't you?"

"No!"

She hesitated, and from the expression on her face, he couldn't tell if she was about to slap him or laugh. She settled on a mixture, punching his arm with a startled little chuckle. 

"Always a surprise with you, isn't it. Now get out, I gotta pee."

"I can't get out, I'm naked!" He spluttered. Despite the situation, his heart leapt at the sight of her, the smell of her, the sound of her voice. It had been way too long.

"That sounds like a you problem, doesn't it? Now shoo, from what I hear everyone's already had a good look at you anyway."

"I - I -"

"Bye!"

With that, she shoved him out of the doorway and slammed it in his face. He stared at the wooden frame, listening to her laughter echo from the inside. The sound was captivating. 

"What the hell are you doing?"

He didn't turn around at first, half because he honestly didn't care who saw him at this point and half because he was still straining to hear Toph's voice.

"Uh..." He saw that it was Zuko and rolled his eyes. 

Nine down, two to go.

"I'm going, I'm going..." he said, his hands held up. Zuko tsk-tsked behind him and he had to refrain from pulling his obnoxiously long hair.

-

When he came out - fully dressed this time - and went out into the living room, he found Aang, Zuko, and Toph sitting comfortably on couches, Lin in Toph's lap. He heard Mai's and Katara's voices shouting from the window and several high pitched shrieks, which meant that they were rounding up the kids.

"Well, well, well," Toph said, raising her eyebrows. "You wearing clothes now, Snoozles?"

He growled lightly. "Yes, Toph."

"Good. Spirits know you nearly burned my retinas."

"T, you're blind."

"Doesn't mean such a scene won't scar me."

"Oh, shut up."

"Make me."

"Get a room, why don't you?" Zuko cut in. "There are children present."

"Like Lin will understand, she's one," Toph retorted, but he could've sworn her cheeks colored a bit. Maybe it was a trick of the light.

"I was talking about Aang."

"Hey, I've got three kids!"

"Yes, you do. And do you know how they got here?"

"All right, all right!" Sokka said irritably. "Cut it out. Zuko, we were just bickering."

"For now."

"Okay!"

"Geez, Zuzu, who knew you were such a matchmaker?" Toph threw at him, her fingers threading through Lin's chubby hands. The baby laughed in delight as she gripped her mother. Sokka stared in wonder as she smiled down at her with her eyes, so full of tenderness despite their uselessness. He was so fixated on her Zuko had to say his name several times before he heard it.

"Uh - sorry, wh - what?"

"Just telling Toph here about your nephew's prediction," he said, jerking his head towards the kitchen. Right on cue Bumi's cry of joy echoed into the room and Zuko nodded, satisfied.

"Yeah, he's a real great kid, that one," she muttered, bouncing Lin on her legs. "Can't believe he has the nerve to tell me who to marry."

Sokka chuckled. "So what, you're saying you wouldn't marry me?"

"Shut up and we'll see," she shot back. Her cheeks were definitely pink this time.

"That makes no sense."

"Well - well -" she broke off, muttering under her breath. He had never seen her this flustered before, her entire face flushed and her eyes narrowed in defense. He didn't know what to make of it.

"Where's Suki, shouldn't she be in here defending your honor or something?" She finally growled. Lin put her finger in her gummy mouth and sucked on it. "I highly doubt she'd find your betrothal amusing."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Aang and Zuko exchanged glances, and he set his jaw in annoyance. He faced Toph, not that it mattered. 

"She might. We broke up," he said, though his voice was softer than it had been when telling Aang and Zuko and Katara. This was different, this was Toph. Lin's father had left before she even found out she was pregnant, she hadn't been in a relationship again as far as he knew. She was alone, like him. She would understand. 

"Oh," she said, nodding. That was it, no apology, no fakeness. In a way that was what he preferred. He felt a rush of affection towards her.

"Yeah. So..." he coughed, then sat down next to her on the couch. He felt her stiffen, her finger being jerked out of Lin's mouth. Maybe he imagined it, but she seemed farther away than she had moments before. The thought depressed him for some reason.

Thankfully Mai walked in before it got any more awkward, her arms crossed, a sly expression onin her face. She regarded Toph and Sokka.

"Katara needs help with the kids, and she requested you two specifically," she said, then turned to Aang. "She says you need to go in the garden and get some things, there's a list in the kitchen, and you -" now she faced her husband "- you're to start boiling some water for lunch."

"What?" He and Toph said in unison, sitting up so fast Lin nearly toppled off her lap. Aang sighed but didn't seem surprised at his wife's demands.

"What about you?" Zuko asked, looking thoroughly annoyed that he had been reduced to cooking duty. "What's your chore?"

"Me? I'm going to take a nap," she said airily, her hand raised in a casual farewell. "Good luck!"

She disappeared down the hallway and he heard her door slam, followed by a low laugh. He shook his head.

Toph sighed and hefted Lin on her hip. "Well, come on, Snoozles. Sugar Queen will throw a hissy fit if we're not there."

Everyone groaned and separated, going where they were needed. Aang grabbed the list and headed out the door to the garden and Zuko stopped in the kitchen and irritably lit his hand on fire, holding it under a pot of water. Sokka followed Toph outside, floating in a kind of trance. Her hair bounced as she walked, the tendrils on the side swaying from side to side. It was intoxicating somehow.

She stopped short in front of him, so fast he nearly crashed into her. Lin squealed and tried to grab his head. 

"Why are you staring at me?" She demanded, turning around. Her face was set, but it wasn't angry. More like she was trying to convince him he was.

"I - I wasn't," he stammered, hacking up a few steps.

Her expression melted into embarrassment for a split second before hardening again. "Oh. It - It felt like you were."

"Oh."

They were quiet for a moment, then Toph turned on her heel and marched forward again, Lin jumping up and down on her hip and Sokka in pursuit, keeping his distance this time. 

When they reached Katara, she was being swarmed by children. 

"Bumi, stop hitting your sister!" She wailed, trying to keep them under control while balancing Tenzin in her arms. "Kya, do NOT drench your brother! Izumi! What did I tell you about using your fists?"

"You called?" Toph said dryly, switching Lin from one hip to the other.

"Toph!" Katara sounded ready to cry. "Sokka! Thank goodness you guys are here. These kids are driving - me - crazy! NO! Do NOT see how big you can make the wave!"

"Here, does this help you?" Toph said, kicking her heel and causing the Earth to rise in the form of a medium sized crib on the ground. She gently placed Lin inside, who squealed and clapped her chubby hands together.

Katara sighed in relief. "Thanks." She put Tenzin down next Lin and he stared at her in wonder. She dropped her head on his lap.

"Look at those two," she said fondly. 

"Wish I could."

She blushed. "Right, sorry. Just saying, they're so cute the way they lean on each other."

"They really are," Sokka said, and he found himself staring at Toph, struck with an uncontrollable urge to smother her in a hug. He fought the urge. What was wrong with him?

"I don't know how I manage them normally," Katara was saying. "I mean, usually I don't have this much trouble. Maybe it's just Izumi's added weight. Maybe I'm just a terrible mother." Her tone was light, like she was making a joke, but Sokka sensed the underlying fear beneath the humor. She was genuinely worried about her parenting skills. She wanted to know what they would say.

"You're not a terrible mother," Toph scoffed, evidently having picked up the same vibe. "Look at these kids. They're turning our great. They haven't even killed each other yet! That's saying something."

"Yeah, sis," he chimed in, putting his hand on Toph's shoulder. He felt her tense but didn't shrug him off. "Toph's right. You're the best mother I've ever seen. These kids adore you. Even Izumi, and she's not even yours. They don't listen to you sometimes because they're kids, not because they don't respect you. They do. I know it."

"I know it," Toph echoed. She reached up and touched his hand lightly, and an electric shock passed through them. She blushed and turned away.

Katara smiled, her mouth lined with wrinkles that should've made her look older but instead seemed to add life to her face. "Thanks, guys." She eyed Sokka's hand on Toph's shoulder and gave him a sly grin before walking toward the kids, who were now attempting to maul each other.

He sighed and released his grip on her, though it was the last thing he wanted to do. From the look on her face, she didn't want him to let go either.

"Well, should we watch the babies?"

"You can handle that," she replied, punching him lightly. "Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with such powers."

He snorted, and she looked pleased to have gotten a reaction. She kicked the ground again and this time a couch emerged from the dirt. She sat down and patted the seat next to her. "Come on, Snoozles. Rest your enormous behind."

"How would you know how big my behind is?" He grunted, but sat down next to her anyway. Her hand came to rest in the space between them, and his just strayed on the edge of her fingers. He forced himself not to look at it.

"So," he said awkwardly.

"So," she agreed.

"How's life?"

It was her turn to snort. "That's your starting line?"

"What? I haven't seen you in years, I want to know what's going on!"

"You could've written."

"You couldn't have read it!"

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes hardened. "I could've had someone else read it! I could've had someone else write back!"

"It - it never occurred to me."

"So I never occurred to you? You never thought about me at all? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, of course I did -"

"Why should you? How silly of me to assume! Not me, thinking of you and Aang and Katara and Zuko every single day!"

"Oh, come on -"

"You wanna know what's going on?" She roared, on her feet now. He cowered on the couch, staring at her blazing figure. "I'll tell you what's going on!

"One, I'm left alone in Ba Sing Se. I have to run a police force by myself, and all of my friends have left me behind and alone. Two, I meet a guy. Kanto. He seems nice and I tolerate him, and eventually he even dates me. But does that last? No, of course not! Why should it?"

"T -"

She rattled on like he hadn't spoken. "But wait, there's more! Not even a week after he leaves - without even a note, mind you, he could be dead for all I know - I find out that I'm knocked up! Gee, you can imagine the sheer JOY I felt when I discovered that little tidbit! It was like there wasn't enough   
HAPPINESS in my life!"

"T, please -"

"So I'm left ALONE to wait nine months for a baby I didn't ask for, without a father, without my friends, without YOU, do you have any idea how hard that was? Letters weren't enough, Snoozles! Not that you even wrote, even Zuko sent me a one! Why? Why didn't you reach out?"

He opened his mouth to answer but she had already moved on.

"Fast forward nine miserable months. I give birth to Lin. Katara is the only one there. I thought you would've been there. I thought - I thought - I thought you cared about me more than that. I actually tricked myself into thinking that we would all come back and it would be like I never left, but it's not. It's not, and I hate it. I HATE it!"

Sokka was speechless, too stunned to even blink. This was unlike anything he'd ever seen before, the most un-Toph-like thing he'd ever experienced.

"I hate you. I hate how you cling to Suki. I hate how you stare at her like she's the best thing to drop from the skies, and I hate how she can make your heart race and I can't ever do it because you've never seen me like that, and I hate how much it hurts when you don't give me the time of the day but at the same time I can't leave, I can't just walk away and forget you, I have to keep coming back again and again no matter how many times my heart breaks because I love you, you jerk, I love you so much -"

She broke off, her eyes flashing with tears threatening to spill. Her face was full of rage and anger, but beneath that was sadness. So much ache and pain and suffering for who knew how many years. 

The wind whipped her hair back and forth like she was engulfed in black flames. Her bun was loose, sagging down her neck and her trusty green headband was sliding down her head. Fists clenched at her sides, her arms trembled with each passing breeze, like she was ready to break if a strong enough gust came by. And though Sokka knew he had no right to think it, he did anyway: she was absolute gorgeous.

"I -" his voice cracked and she winced. "Toph, I had no idea you felt that way."

She closed her eyes, as if she hadn't either until it had all come tumbling out. "Listen. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Please."

"No." She shook her head, jumping off the bench. "I shouldn't have - I mean, toi were just asking. I shouldn't have told you all that stuff."

"Wait, wait, where are you going?"

"I have to go." She swallowed, backing up a few steps. "You were never - you were never supposed to know. You couldn't find out."

He grabbed her hands desperately. "Toph, please don't do this."

She blinked, and in that pause he realized why those words sounded familiar: it was exactly what he'd said to Suki when she'd broken up with him. And though he knew in his heart that they weren't meant to be together, he had let her walk away.

He wasn't about to the same thing to Toph. Not this time. Before he lost the nerve, he stood up, cupped her face his hands, and kissed her.

And she kissed him back, tender, soft-lipped kissing him back, her hands in his hair, and he breathed in her scent, so familiar, oh, so familiar. This was safe. Toph was home. 

She finally pulled away, though he was nowhere near finished. His breath came in hot, shallow segments, his hands still clasped around her neck.

"How long?" He asked, staring into her eyes. Thank the Spirits she couldn't see him blushing.

"Try since I was twelve," she snorted, and his heart leapt at the sound. 

"Toph..." his voice was low and gravelly. "Why - why didn't you ever say anything?"

"You had Suki. I didn't - You didn't need to know. It only would've complicated things."

"Oh." Another question bubbled up his throat and erupted before he could think it over. "Did anyone else know?"

She sighed, and he could sense years, even decades of longing behind her sadness. She really was telling the truth. "Katara. But she promised not to tell anyone. Especially not you."

He sat back down on the bench, loosening Toph's fingers from his hair. "Well. That explains why she's been so weird lately," he mused, thinking of her expression when he'd asked about her and her laughter from Bumi's prediction. "Didn't you say Katara told you to go in the bathroom this morning when I was still in it?"

"Yeah," she muttered, slumping down next to him. "Geez. I didn't know I'd be coming here for an arranged marriage. First your sister, then your nephew..."

He smirked, turning to face her, propping his head on his hand. "And here I thought you would've been happy with their selection."

She bit her lip, but at least she didn't move away. He took that as a good sign.

"T?"

"See, it's things like that," she said. "Every time you call me T, it's like... it's like another piece of me slots into place. I can't help being attracted to you, and you have no freaking idea how it makes me feel."

"No idea?" He rolled his eyes. "So, what, we both just hallucinated me kissing you?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. I don't understand how you can still push me away, even though I literally just kissed you."

"Sokka," she sighed, and in that moment he felt his heart break. It shattered into a million tiny pieces, so raw, so real, and he hadn't even known it could break like that. Was it possible someone had not stabbed him in the chest? Was it possible that this pain was really happening?

She never called him Sokka.

"Sokka," she said again, and a stabbing sensation danced through his chest.

"Don't call me that," he gasped, grabbing her hands. She gave a start but didn't pull away. "Please. It's like... it's like you're rejecting me when you say my name."

Despite the situation, she seemed to be fighting off a smirk. "You're worried about me rejecting you?"

He cracked a smile, lowering his head. "It's just - just when you say Sokka, it feels... wrong."

"Wrong," Toph echoed. Her gaze stayed forward, but her hands twitched in his.

"Do - do you want me to let go?"

"No," she said, her grip suddenly becoming tighter. "No. No, I don't. Snoozles, I -"

He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes were wide open, but slowly melted closed, as her body did into his, curving her back into his stomach. He wanted more of her. More. More. More.

He broke away, their lips straying close together. 

"I love you," he mumbled under them, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

She didn't respond. She simply threw her arms around him once more. This time it was him who melted into the kiss.

"See! I told you they love each other!"

He jerked away from Toph towards the sound, and found Bumi, Kya, Izumi, and Katara staring openly at them.

"Well," his sister said, regaining her composure, "I came to tell you that lunch is ready, but it seems you're a bit busy at the moment..."

"Katara!" He spluttered. "Do you mind?"

"Nope."

"Then enjoy the show," Toph said, laughing as she pulled Sokka's face back onto hers. He could hear Katara laughing too, and Bumi's triumphant shrieks of "I knew it! I knew it!"

He didn't care. All he wanted was Toph. And she was finally here.


	14. Good Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka heads off to the South Pole, leaving a pregnant Toph behind with a music box and a promise to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based off of the song "Good Grief" by Bastille, which I had planned to be an animatic and might still be if I learn to draw very fast lmao. Anyways hope you enjoy and be warned: You might cry

Out of all of her friends, Toph would say that she was the most stubborn. Heck, ask any of her friends. They'd agree with her. She's proven herself more than worthy over the years. First it was refusing to stay on Air Temple Island with Aang and Katara after the birth of Tenzin. Then it was taking a lot of convincing to be drawn away from the police force. Then it was going cold after Kanto left, and declining Katara's healing water while giving birth to Lin. If there's anything Toph prides herself on, it's her stubbornness. Well, that and being the Greatest Earth Bender in the World. 

Second to her, however, would have to go to Sokka. He had a tendency to stand his ground when he thought he was right, which was respectable, but she hated it when he took it too far. 

Like right now.

"Seriously? You're still going through with it?"

"Come on, T, not again," he said. Toph mimed strangling him and he glared at her. "Don't tell me you're actually showing emotion. Isn't that like, against your whole thing?"

She growled and ignored that. "You're talking about leaving. Leaving me!"

"Toph, it's two weeks!"

"That's just a fancy way of saying almost a whole ass month! That's too long."

He sighed. "Then why don't you just come with me? You'd love the South Pole. Come see where I'm from, where Katara's from. It would mean a lot."

"You know I don't do snow, Snoozles," she muttered, fingering her bracelet. Made from the meteorite Sokka had given her, back when they were saving the world. "And I can't just leave Lin."

"Bring her along! Leave her with Katara, for Spirit's sake, she loves Kya!"

She exhaled slowly, trying to keep her patience. "What about... my condition?"

He couldn't help that laugh that escaped, and she couldn't help her heart skipping a beat at the sound. "The baby will be fine, I've told you, it doesn't matter that you're pregnant!"

"Eight months pregnant. You'd miss the birth of your own kid if you go!"

"My father is sick. He's not getting any better. Do you want me to miss what might be my last chance to see him?"

She bit her lip and crossed her arms over her tightly stretched stomach. "No, of course not. It's just..." She let her head fall back, her long hair cascading over her shoulders. "The timing is just really fucked up."

He softened, and she felt his arms curling around her. "I know, T. I know."

She closed her sightless eyes and held onto him, wishing that all her problems could just float away. Her fingers clutched at his strong arms, and he burrowed his head into her hair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into it.

She snorted. "You should be. I'm the one losing here."

His voice was heavy, full of sorrow and sadness. "If you tell me to stay, I will."

"No," she said, though she choked out the word. "Go."

He hesitated. "You're sure?"

"Yes. Leave. Get out of my sight. Oh, wait. You already are."

He laughed, and she smiled, and for a second everything was all right. Nothing was wrong, they were just two people together. Two people hugging. Very tightly.

She cleared her throat, and the moment passed. She let go of him and patted her stomach. "Go pack, Meathead. I'll be fine."

Though she couldn't see, his smile rippled across the room. "Hey, tell you what - why don't you guys go up with Aang and them anyway? It's been too long."

She tapped her finger against her chin, pretending to think about it. "I guess. But only if you promise to write me while you're gone. Every day, Snoozles, or else."

"Of course," he said, grinning. "But only if you promise to have Katara write back for you."

She punched him playfully. "Deal. Now go, just be quiet. Lin is napping."

"Okay." He turned to leave, then hesitantly came back. "Before I go, there's something I want to give you."

Toph felt her heart speed up, and could sense his doing the same. She heard him rustling around in his pockets, then the sound of something soft being pulled out. No, not soft exactly... it was solid. Wood, maybe. 

He thrust it into her hand, and she fingered it. Some sort of box.

"Gee, just what I always wanted," she said sarcastically. "A box."

He sighed comically. "It's a music box," he explained, carefully moving her hands around so she could feel it. He was right. Behind. Her. She willed herself to remain calm. "Open it, and a song will play."

Together they lifted the cover, and Toph caught her breath. A beautiful melody came out of the box, sweetly enchanting her ears and wrapping her up in what felt like a hug. It reminded her of the lullabies her mother used to sing to her when she was very young, barely a girl. She would stroke her hair and kiss her head, and for a moment she was back in her youth, and her mother had just tucked her into bed. She swayed to the music, and became suddenly aware of Sokka swaying with her, his hands on her stomach, twisted around her back. She froze, and he immediately let go of her.

"Sorry," he whispered. His voice had become quiet and hoarse. 

"Did you make it?" She whispered back, still staring at her hands.

He fidgeted behind her, but he didn't move away. "Yeah. I, uh... yeah, I did."

She didn't answer, simply running her fingers across the wooden lines on the top of the box. She came upon a ripple in one, then another, and another. 

"What's this?"

He glanced to see what she was talking about, and she heard him chuckle lightly. "That's the name of the song, its engraved on the box. It's called 'Suyin.' Means plain and unadorned sound."

"Hm." She traced the word. 

"Do you -" he coughed "- Do you like it?"

She wanted to say yes. She moved her mouth to form the words yes, but when the sound escaped her lips the words were, "Why did you make it?"

He sighed - his breath was hot on her cheek, and she fought a blush. "Do I need a reason to make you something nice?" His hands crawled to her stomach again, patting their unborn child softly. "You deserve all the good in the world."

"Thanks," she said, tilting her head back to whisper in his ear. He laughed in return, and they stood together, listening to the music pouring out of the box in her palm.

Toph closed her eyes, wishing that she could stay here in this moment forever, frozen in time. If she could've wished for anything in the world, she wouldn't have hesitated to say that. 

Finally he let go, though it was the last thing he seemed to want to do. He kissed her quickly on the cheek before rushing up the stairs of their house. She counted each step as he grew farther away, reaching up to touch the place where his lips had touched her. She stayed there for a long, long time. 

-

The next morning, Toph stumbled off the ferry onto Air Temple Island into Katara's waiting arms. She immediately felt like she was being strangled, and Lin's hand was wrenched from her grasp.

"Toph! I missed you, ooh, I missed you so much!"

"Kat - can't - breathe -"

She let go and Toph gasped for air. Katara knelt down and patted her stomach. "Hello, baby. It's your Aunt Katara! Hi!" 

"All right, all right," she muttered. "You'd think you've never seen a pregnant lady before."

"Oh, shut up," she laughed, still cooing. "Hi, baby!"

"You shut up," she said, yanking her stomach away from her and trying to suppress a smirk. She changed the subject. "Lin? Where's Lin, I don't feel her."

Katara sighed, standing up and brushing herself off. "She and Kya are on the beach, playing in the waves. Oh - Oh, Kya, honey, don't drown her!"

"For an eleven year old, she sure is talented," Toph laughed, hitching her bag on her shoulder. "But Lin can still beat her ass!"

"Toph!"

"Oh, sorry. Beat her butt!"

Katara shook her head. "Be careful, you two!" She called to the girls, then turned back to her. "Here, let me carry that."

"I'm fine, Katara. Don't baby me, I'm an adult."

"A pregnant adult!"

"Didn't you hate how Aang babied you while you were pregnant?"

"Not the point. Come on, T -"

"Don't call me that," she snapped, jerking her bag away from her. Katara gave a little sound of surprise, then she was quiet for a moment. The wind whistled in her ears.

"I'm sorry," she finally said. "I know it must be harder that he's not here for you than for me."

She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. "You're his sister, why would it be harder for me?" 

Even from five feet away, Katara's sad smile vibrated in waves toward her. "You know why." She paused, then added, "Have you guys... figured it out?"

She opened her eyes and stared at what she guessed was the ocean. It had been afternoon when she'd left, so it had to be close to night by now. She wished she could see the moon. "I'm not sure. He, uh... he promised he would write to me here, and he kissed my cheek before he left." 

She didn't know why she didn't mention the music box, safely tucked away in her bag. For some reason she wanted to keep it to herself. To remind herself that he wasn't gone for good, that he was coming back. Whenever she missed him she could open the box, it would play Suyin, and it would be like she was lost in that moment, which had only been yesterday. It seemed like so long ago now.

"See, it's not a lost cause," Katara said, wrapping her arms around Toph. "I mean, you're carrying his kid, for Spirit's sake. That should clue you in to your relationship."

"I told you, we aren't together-together. We... we just..." She exhaled. "We're just a guy and a girl who made a mistake and have to face the consequences."

She could tell Katara didn't believe her, and who would blame her? Even to her the words sounded fake. The longing behind her voice was so palpable it was embarrassing. 

"But you want something more," she said, and Toph knew that she couldn't deny it. 

"Labels can be difficult," she replied in deadpan. "I... We're not just friends. But we're not... we're not..."

"Hey. Take it easy, okay?" Katara gave her a little side hug. "Just relax while you're here. You can talk to him - really talk to him - when he gets back. And in the meantime, if you want to tell him something, all you have to do is ask." She squeezed her shoulder. "I'd gladly write the letter "

She was silent for a moment, pondering that. She snorted. "Okay. If you say so."

But she allowed herself to swell with hope as Katara directed her up to the house. Maybe... maybe everything would work itself out after all. She fingered the music box in her bag as she walked up the steps.

-

The next morning, Toph had barely stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen before she was bombarded by nephews. Tenzin was six, like Lin, but quieter and less likely to hit her. Bumi was fourteen and wild, much like his crazy hair that tended to stick out in every direction.

"Finally, you're up. You're the only one in this family who's fun, Aunt Toph," he said, coming over and embracing her.

"You've got a baby in your belly, Aunt Toph," Tenzin said solemnly as he hugged her middle. 

"That's right," she said, patting his hair. "And you're pretty fun yourself, Boom-Boom."

He scowled, and she smirked. He hated to be called Boom-Boom. It was the name - well, it was the name Sokka had come up with for him when he was born. She faltered for a few seconds. 

Oh, grow up, a voice in her head chided. So now you can't be without him? You're Toph! The Greatest Earthbender in the World! Pull it together!

She sat down at the table and Katara served her breakfast. She heard Lin and Kya come tumbling into the kitchen from the room they shared, and Katara fussed over what they would eat. They fussed right back, insisting that they weren't hungry. In the end they agreed to eat something quick before she let them go outside. She laughed softly into her plate. 

"Come play tag with us," Bumi said once he'd cleared his plate, tugging on her arm. "If Mom plays too, that makes six!"

"Gimme a second," she sighed, massaging her stomach. She'd been having strange aches since she woke up, but she didn't want to disappoint the kids. "Where's Twinkle Toes? I don't hear his little footsteps.

"He's in Republic City, won't be back until next week," Katara said, taking her plate. "Listen, Toph, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be running around when you're this pregnant."

Toph struggled to her feet, which probably didn't help her case. "I'll be fine, Sugar Queen. Don't worry so much."

"But -"

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Come on, let's play some tag!" She allowed Bumi and Tenzin to drag them outside, where they met up with Kya and Lin and began an intense game of tag, during which everyone was it except Toph, which the kids found hilarious. 

"Teams! Teams!" Bumi shouted after a while of panting and running around aimlessly and being it six times. "This isn't fair, I want teams!"

"Okay, okay," Katara gasped, laughing as she clutched her side. "Uh, Kya and Lin and me against Toph and Tenzin and you, sound fair?"

"Aw yeah! We get Aunt Toph!" Bumi declared with joy. Tenzin mimicked him, throwing his hands up in the air and laughing. 

Toph nodded approvingly. "You boys have good taste." 

"And to make it interesting," Katara continued, a gleam in her eye. "Bending is noe allowed."

"Aww, what?" Bumi complained, but everyone else howled with delight. 

"Don't worry, Boom-Boom," Toph said, taking a fighting stance. "We'll need your speed. You're going down, Sweetness!"

"After you!" Katara teased, taking the same stance. She jerked her head to Kya and Lin, and they giggled and copied her. 

"You're going down, Mama!" Lin yelled.

"Down!" Kya echoed. "I'm it!"

Bumi shrieked and bolted, Tenzin hot on his heels. Toph darted around them, trying to stop Kya from tagging them without getting tagged herself. Lin stayed near Katara, and they tried to force the others out into the open. It was hard work, and before long all of them were sweaty and tired. Toph had to stop and catch her breath more than usual, which wasn't like her, but she just shrugged it off.

"Truce!" Bumi choked out, shielding his face as Kya directed a water bomb at his face. "Truce!"

"All right, everybody freeze!" Katara yelled. "Okay, um, let's... pause for now."

"Why? Scared you'll lose?" Toph smirked, hefting a rock behind her. She was breathing very heavily for some reason, and the pulsing pain she had felt earlier had returned.

"I'm scared we'll miss lunch," she replied. "Who's hungry?"

A chorus of "Me!" echoed throughout the group, and Katara led them all back into the house. Toph tried to catch up, but her bones felt very tired. A cold feeling settled at the base of her stomach. She blinked a few times. 

"Toph?" Katara's voice came from far away. With a sudden panic she realized she couldn't sense where she was. What was going on? "You okay?"

"Yeah, I -" she stopped short and shrieked - a searing sensation tore across her stomach and beneath her pelvis. She dropped to the ground, her hands clutching at her swollen stomach. "Augh!"

"Toph!" Katara was at her side in seconds. She helped her to her feet, but she stumbled again. "What's wrong? What's the matter?"

"Baby..." she gasped. "Baby... coming... now!"

"Oh, oh, I knew I shouldn't have let you play!" She yelled, and Toph doubled over in pain and glared at her.

"Okay, okay," Katara continued hurriedly, easing her to that she was leaning on her shoulder. "Toph? I'm going to take you up to the house. We're going to go nice and slow, okay? Just tell me if it's too fast for you."

She didn't answer, crying out instead. She tried to calm down, convince herself that she had gone through this before. It wasn't like this was anything new. And yet... why was the feeling so intense, so much of it at once? This didn't feel like Lin's labor, but what else could it possibly be? She had to trust herself.

"Easy does it, Toph. That's right, come on..."

Slowly Katara led her up the path and back into the house, where Bumi, Kya, Tenzin and Lin were assembling for their promised lunch. Toph heard a dish shatter as one of them dropped it, and the other three yelped with surprise. 

"Mom?" Bumi said anxiously. "What's going on?" 

"Is Aunt Toph having the baby?" Tenzin asked.

"Mama?" Lin said, her little voice smaller than normal. 

"Yes. Out of the way, kids. Please, move!" Katara commanded, guiding Toph by the arm into the spare room. She could just barely hear four pairs of footsteps following Katara's, but at the moment she didn't care. All she wanted was to get this thing out of her.

She sank gratefully into the plush blankets, but she didn't have much time to be thankful before another wave of pain racked her body, and she twisted around in the sheets. Katara sounded worried when she said, "Just hang tight, Toph. I'm going to get some healing water, but I'll be right back. Linny, why don't you hold you mom's hand?"

"Okay."

Toph grunted, her eyes shut tight, but the pressure lessened as she felt Lin's small hand slip into hers and squeeze. "I'm here, mama."

She squeezed back. "Hello, my little badgermole." A sob escaped her lips as Katara returned, her belt sloshing with water. She sighed as the water coated her stomach, and for a moment the pain receded, though when she toom it off she didn't feel quite as bad as she had.

"Okay, Toph," Katara said, sounding relieved. "Looks like you're not going into an early labor, you're just experiencing some mild contractions."

"What? What do you mean?"

"The real thing probably isn't for another two weeks or so. It's not going to be a pleasant one, so I'm going to have to ask you to stay in bed for it."

"WHAT?! Katara, come on, you can't be serious!"

"Toph, I'm not kidding. This is serious. If you do anything extraneous, you could trigger a real early labor and then... well, we'd be in trouble. You're not ready to deliver yet."

"There is no way I'm just going to sit here and do nothing! At least let me leave this godamn room!"

"Toph!"

She growled. "You can't just force me to stay in bed."

"Oh, yes I can." Katara was firmer that Toph had ever heard her sound. "Look. This isn't about you, it's about your child. They're not ready to be born, and if anything surprises you or shocks you in any way, you could bring them into this world a little too early. I don't know if they would live."

"Katara..." she swallowed. "I trust your judgement. Really, I do. But I can't - I can't just sit here. I can't. I won't."

Katara opened her mouth to argue, but she wasn't finished. She held up her hands in defense. 

"But - just listen! - but if you let me just walk around the house, I'll behave. I won't leave, I swear. Just let me walk around." She sensed Katara hesitating, and put on her best "Pretty Please" face. "Please."

There was a long pause. Katara groaned. "Fine. But you have to promise me you won't leave this house. I mean it, Toph."

"I promise." She held out her hand, and Katara shook it. Then she tightened her grip and helped her out of the tangled sheets. 

"The dose of healing water I gave you should he enough to get you through the day," she explained as Toph steadied herself, her hand on her giant stomach. "But every night and every morning I'll have to give you another session until your baby is born."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she muttered, trying to concentrate. It was a lot harder to stand up than she had anticipated, but she wasn't going to tell Katara that. "Can we go write Sokka a letter now or something?"

"All right. Just let me tell the kids what's going on." She let go of her arm, and Toph swayed on the spot. "I'll be right back."

She nodded, grasping at the wall and breathing deeply. In. Out. In. Out. Okay. She focused on putting one foot in front of the other. She wasn't in pain anymore, but she still felt anxious, like at any moment the aches would come back in a furious wave. She was treading on thin ice, and she didn't want to crack it. She knew Katara was right. She just didn't want her to know that she knew. 

"Okay," Katara said, returning to her side. She felt better once her fingers laced through hers. "Let's go out to the table, and I'll get some paper and ink and we can write. What do you want to tell him?" She hesitated at the door. "Not... are you going to tell him about... today?"

Toph paused with her, her hand on the frame. "What do you think?"

"I think it's your call, Toph. Whatever you decide."

She sighed, closing her eyes. Yearning coursed through her veins, and she wanted so, so much to just hold him in her arms. She wanted him to be here, and he wasn't. Nothing she could do would change that. But she might be able to tweak it.

"Where's my bag?" She muttered, turning and stumbling around her room. "I need it. Where is it?"

"Here," Katara said, thrusting it into her hands. She took it and rummaged through it until her fingers came across a familiar wooden box with ripples on its top. She threw the bag on the bed and opened the lid. Immediately Suyin began echoing through the house, the sweet sound of music dancing across the halls.

They listened in silence. Toph could hear the kids in the kitchen stop what they were doing and listen too. When the song ended, she closed the lid and tightly clutched the box, like she was giving it a hug. 

"What's that?" Katara breathed, her voice light.

"It's a music box," she said shortly, shoving it into her pocket. "Sokka gave it to me. Before he left."

"It's beautiful," she commented. 

"Yeah." Toph didn't feel much like elaborating. If anything, playing Suyin had only made her feel more lonely. She had an aching sensation that she would never be with him again, though she told herself that was stupid. 

He's coming back, she told herself. Just deal. 

"Come on," she said, tugging on Katara's sleeve. "Let's just write the letter already."

-

A week later, Toph had settled somewhat into a routine. When she woke up, Katara would rush in and coat her in healing water. She would feel good for about ten minutes, and then her anxiety would return. She constantly felt like she was on the edge of a cliff - one false move and she would topple over the edge, and she would go into labor. That thought consumed her, and she spent the rest of the day wandering around the house, worrying about her health. 

As the days crept by, however, the chances of her delivering early slipped away. She drew closer to her due date, and she could feel Katara's worry fading away with each passing hour. She felt her own leaving as well, and she actually began to enjoy her stay, having Katara read Sokka's letters and writing him back. Soon the time came to begin counting down the days until Sokka would arrive home. 

Four days, three days, two days, one day...

He didn't come. 

Katara didn't seem worried, saying that ships were always delayed and that there had been a few storms recently in their area.

"He's on his way," she promised. "He'll be here soon, I know it."

And she believed her. Sokka would be here soon. She began counting the days he had been away.

One day, two days, three days, four days...

Still he didn't come.

She found herself anxiously waiting by the front door, listening hardly for the sound of his footsteps. Oh, he would be in for a surprise when he showed his sorry face. She would run up to him and throw her arms around him. He would be surprised, but he would hug her back, and then she would kiss him full on the mouth. And he would kiss her back, but she wouldn't let him get too into it before pulling away and socking him in the stomach. Oh, yes, she would get her revenge. 

She lived off that thought for days. Every time she passed by the door, she replayed the scene in her mind. Each time, Sokka came home. Each time, they kissed. Each time, everyone was happy. Each time was the same. It got to be that Toph couldn't imagine anything else happening. 

So she was surprised when Katara called out to her, saying that she could come outside for a minute. That should've clued her in. Katara was very strict about her new rules. 

Toph made her way down to the beach, cursing under her breath. Stupid sand, always churning under her feet. She couldn't see a thing. She reached Katara, who clasped her arm tightly. She gave a start at her touch, which was cold.

"What's up?"

"This man has a letter for you," Katara said softly. Her voice shook, but without her bending Toph couldn't decipher her exact emotions.

"So what? It's probably from Sokka, what's the big deal," she muttered. The man gave her the letter and walked away, leaving Katara clutching her arm like it was her lifeline. She handed her the letter and shd listened to her rip it open.

"It's not. It - it says it's from this little island off the coast of the Earth Kingdom."

"Katara," she said patiently. "Sokka probably stopped there for supplies or something. What's the matter with you?"

"Toph," she gulped, and to her dismay there was genuine fear in her voice. "It's not his handwriting."

She blinked. Then again. And again.

"Read it," she croaked. 

Katara's hand was shaky like her tonr as she read the letter out loud.

"'Dear Toph Beifong,'" she began. "'My name is Diya. I was traveling with a crew led by Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. Two days ago, our ship was hit by a freak storm. Sokka tried, but it took all of our crew to keep the ship afloat for as long as we could. Eventually the storm overpowered us, and many of the crew was lost with the ship. Sokka -'" Katara was sobbing now "'- Sokka didn't make it. When I and the other two remaining members of the crew washed ashore, we found a barrel with Sokka's things inside. There wasn't much left, but we discovered your correspondence with him. You were the only contact of his we could find, and the task of telling you fell to me. I'm sorry, Ms. Beifong.'"

Toph was still. She didn't dare to even breathe.

"Toph," Katara cried. "He's gone."

That was it. She broke. 

She fell to the ground, huge, jarring sobs erupting out of her mouth, unlike any tears she'd ever heaved before. Surely she was dying. Surely this wasn't real. She was dreaming. This wasn't happening. 

Sokka couldn't be dead. He couldn't be, because she'd willed him to be alive. He had to live because she had thought about him, every second of every minute of every day he was apart from her. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't be. But there were the words, right there on the page. Katara had read them. 

And Katara never lied.

Some part of her registered Katara's hand stroking her back, and some part of her heard her tears splashing onto her cheeks, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered, not even her own life, not if he was gone. She wished she were dead so as to join him. Her pain was so real, she felt as though she was giving birth at the same time someone was wrenching a knife into her stomach.

Wait.

"Oh, no," Katara gasped between her sobs. "Toph, your stomach... your water..."

She was much too disoriented to recognize her words, but she did feel something gushing out of her. Something watery, and something familiar. Something she'd experienced before. 

"We have to get you inside," Katara insisted. Her voice was heavy with unshed tears, but there was a commanding tone in front. "Come on. Your water just broke."

"My..." she hiccuped. Her eyes were wet, cascading down onto her cheeks and mixing with her long hair, which had somehow fallen out of its bun. "My water... Katara...?"

"Come on." She lifted her to her feet, found that she could not drag her alone, and called out for the kids. "BUMI! KYA! LIN! TENZIN!"

They appeared in seconds. "What's wrong, mom?" Bumi asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Mama?" Lin sounded scared.

"I need you to help me carry Aunt Toph in the house," she said tensely. "Bumi, Kya, grab her feet. I need you to be careful, guys. Tenzin, Lin, please just hold her hands." She turned to Lin and placed her hand on her cheek. "This is a very special job, okay, Linny?"

"Okay." The little girl gripped her mother's hand tightly, and Toph murmed in her poor state of mind. 

"Lin..." she said faintly. 

"It's okay, mama," she whispered. "You're gonna be fine."

"Sokka," she cried. "Sokka."

Lin fidgeted. "Aunt Katara, why is mama talking about Uncle Sokka?"

"Just focus on holding her hand, okay, honey?" Katara said. "I'll explain later."

Toph's breathing was shallow and tense. Her eyelids drooped, and her ears shut down, and she knew no more.

-

When she woke for good, Toph found herself in extreme pain, but at least it was familiar extreme pain. She knew now that she was in labor, and that this was it. Her baby was coming.

Sokka was gone.

No, she thought. No. Don't think about that. Think about the baby. Focus.

"Push, Toph!" Katara yelled, and she discovered that she was down at her feet. Lin was no longer at her side. "Push!"

She tried to do what she was told, gripping the sheets, groaning and grunting and pushing with all her might. A loud roar escaped her lips, and something heavy escaped her body. She slumped down onto the pillows, sweating like crazy. 

"Oh," Katara sighed. "Oh, oh, Toph..."

"How'd I do?" She asked weakly. Something was mewing down at her feet, and Katara inhaled sharply.

"It's a girl," she mumbled. "You did amazing, Toph. Just amazing."

She sighed. "Good. Good."

Katara rummaged around the room, wrapping the baby in a blanket and cleaning her up. When she was done, she returned to Toph. The mewing was coming from her arms now.

"Toph," she said quietly. "I'd like you to meet your daughter."

She didn't breathe as the child was placed in her arms. The baby had been crying before, but as soon as she made contact with Toph she stopped and cooed instead, gurgling happily as she snuggled against her mother. She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.

Sokka would never know his child.

She closed her eyes, and a single tear traced down her cheek. Katara crawled onto the bed and hugged her tightly. 

"Her eyes are blue," she said into her ear. "And her skin looks like mine."

Toph's breathing hitched. She touched her daughter's face gently, and the baby reached up to grab her finger. An electric shock rippled through her body. 

"What are you going to name her?"

This time Toph didn't hesitate. She knew, maybe had known for a long time. Maybe even had known since he had given her the music box, so many weeks ago.

"Suyin," she whispered. "Suyin. Like the song. Like his song."

Katara caught her breath, and Toph felt a tear that was not her own slide down her face. "Oh, Toph..."

"I know," she said. "I know."

Slowly she began humming the song, the beautiful song that would be the last thing Sokka had ever given her. But now it wouldn't be. He would live on in his daughter. Their daughter. 

"I love you," she said quietly to the baby. And, just for a moment, she believed she could hear another voice say it along with her, a familiar voice that carried on the wind, his voice that took up their song.

Toph smiled contentedly. He was here. She knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I AM SO SORRY IF I MADE YOU CRY I MADE MYSELF CRY WRITING THIS but it was so fun to write and I honestly think this one is my favorite of them all. Hope you enjoyed!!


	15. Five Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In my imagination   
> Toph is a great mother  
> There are five Beifong children  
> Still Sokka wants another
> 
> Yes that rhymes and yes I wanted it to. Basically this is the story of Toph and Sokka and their five children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M AWARE THAT THIS MOST DEFINITELY IS NOT IN ANY WAY CANON. I know Toph wouldn't want lots of kids maybe, but I really am a auxker for that sitcom family situation so I wanted to make a one shot for my otp. Hope you like it!

Normally, Toph Beifong woke up to the warm feeling of sunlight pouring through her window, with the sound of leaves rustling on the trees outside and the sweet smell of flowers drifting lazily into her bedroom. Her fingers were usually laced through her husband's before they fell asleep each night, but by morning they had switched to threading into his soft hair. She loved this part - her fingertips tingling as each and every one of her cells became aware of him as she woke. That was the best part of her day.

She did not normally wake up to the taste of an old sock being shoved into her mouth. 

"Wha - huh?" She gurgled, shooting straight up in bed and yanking Sokka with her, as his hair was tangled in her fingers. She spat out the sock and tried to get the taste out of her mouth. "EW!"

A chorus of giggles erupted to her right. As her feet were tucked into the blankets, she couldn't sense who it was, but it didn't take a genius to figure it out. 

"It was Lin's idea, Mommy," her second youngest daughter said.

Her oldest gasped. "It was not! Mom, it was all Keto!"

"Nuh, uh!" Her middle daughter said. "It was Koda's sock, anyway."

"Hey, I keep my socks clean!" Her oldest son yelled. "It was probably Su's, she's so dirty."

"She's the baby, what'd you expect?"

"She's not even that young, she's three!"

"Doesn't mean she can keep her clothes clean."

"She's better at it than you!"

"I have to help Thae and she's awful at cleaning!"

"She's literally five, cut her some slack."

"Look at you, sticking up for everybody! That's not like you. Are you sick?"

"Shut up, Keto."

"Shut up yourself, Lin."

"How about you both shut up?" 

"How about you all shut up?" Toph roared, silencing her children. She rubbed her fingers against her temple. "It's way too early for this."

"Actually, Mom, it's a quarter past eight," Lin said matter-of-factly. "You guys are usually up by, what, seven thirty?"

"Usually it's not your father's day off," she mumbled. Sokka laughed into his pillow next to her, then sat up and yawned.

"You guys crack me up," he said, grinning. "Who's idea was it to stuff a sock in Mommy's mouth?"

Four voices cried, "Mine!" unanimously, then four voices abruptly shouted, "No, mine!" They then began shouting at each other, their voices overlapping one another.

"All right, all right," Toph sighed, dropping her feet onto the ground up. "Su is still sleeping, don't be too loud or she'll -"

"MOMMY!"

"Ugh." She groaned and tried to flatten her hair. Sokka propped himself up on his elbow and kissed the small of her back. She smiled, hefting herself up. "I'll be back. Don't kill each other."

"I'll keep 'em in line, T!" He called after her. She raised her hand in farewell and plopped down the hall. 

As soon as she was out of sight, Sokka turned to his children and eyed them all slyly. "Now. Who's idea was it, really?"

"Mine," Lin clarified before her siblings opened their mouths. "It was me, Dad. It was Su's sock, though. Baby socks are always stinky."

He nodded, considering this. "I see. I'll tell you guys something -" He poked Keto in the stomach and she giggled "- this little girl's socks were the stinkiest I'd ever smelled!"

"Hey!" Koda protested, shoving his twin out of the way. "What about me? Were my socks stinky, Dad?"

Sokka grinned and tickled his son, who cackled and twisted his stomach. "Oh, yeah. Yours were so smelly, Mommy almost fainted!"

"No, Mommy did not!" Toph shouted from Suyin's room. "If I recall correctly, every time you took someone's shoe off, it was 'T! I CAN'T DO THIS!'"

Lin, Koda, and Keto busted out laughing. Thae joined in her siblings' giggles, though she looked thoroughly confused. Sokka glared at the door where his wife had exited.

"At least I could handle soiled diapers!" He yelled back, and her laugh echoed through the halls. It sent a cold tingle up his spine, despite the warm breeze coming in through the window.

"Ah, yes," she replied, coming back into the bedroom, leading Suyin by the hand. "Well, excuse me for not liking the smell of human waste."

"Well, this time around I'll be sure to change all the diapers," he promised.

"Sokka!" 

Too late. The kids gasped collectively, then whipped their heads around to face Toph. Their eyes burned with the question they didn't ask. She groaned.

"Can we not discuss this right now?"

"So it's true? We're having another baby?" Keto screeched. Thae clapped her hands excitedly, and Lin shouted with joy.

"Really?" Koda said, wrinkling his nose. "Don't we have enough?"

Toph nodded approvingly. "That's what I said. I mean, five is a lot."

"Well," Sokka mumbled, scratching his neck, "I mean, the twins were sort of a two-for-one, so technically we only have four."

"Hey!" The twins shouted, as Toph snorted. 

"I gave birth to them, Snoozles. Believe me, we have five."

"Are you really pregnant, Mom?!" Lin asked, running up and shoving her hands on her mother's stomach. "Are we having another baby?"

"Yeah, how about we don't slap me there," she said, swatting her hands away. "And no, we are not having another baby."

"Aw, man," she muttered. "What's one more?"

"Yes, T," Sokka said, coming over and arranging himself so that he was leaning on the wall next to her. "What's one more?"

She grunted, trying not to smile. Whenever he called her T she had to suppress a smile, especially when she wasn't supposed to be smiling. "One more means more stretch marks and another Beifong tearing up the house."

"You know I love your beauty marks," he said huskily, leaning down. She fought a blush.

"I'd love it if you didn't give me more," she stammered. Eleven years of marriage, and he still made her feel like this.

He pecked her on the lips, and she responded by deepening the kiss, actually curving her back as though she were melting into him. 

"Ew!" Lin squealed, and Koda and Keto made retching noises behind her. Suyin and Kenai tugged on her pants, pulling them apart.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you guys not like it when we kiss?" Sokka teased, and they screamed.

"No!"

"Then enjoy the show," he cackled, and pressed his lips against hers once more. She closed her eyes and angled her head, partly to give the effect for the kids and partly because she was aching for him.

Lin, Koda, and Keto ran down the stairs, whooping with delight, Thae leading Suyin along by the hand. Sokka didn't pull away this time until they were out the door. He went over to it, shut it, then walked back over to her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Fancy that," he whispered. "All alone."

"They're just downstairs," she cautioned. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Oh, I won't," he promised. "You're not stupid, after all."

She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed, his hands shooting out and grabbing her around the waist. He lifted her up into the air and spun her in circles.

"Put me down!" She gasped, her heart speeding rapidly, though her brain was screaming, No, don't stop! "Sokka!"

He stopped, setting her gently down on her feet. "Well. When you call me that it usually means I'm in trouble."

She punched his arm. "Yeah, you are. Why would you tell them we're having another kid? You know that's what they want!"

"Not Koda," he said, trying to grab her arm. She pulled away. "And still, that's five against two. Majority rules!"

"I think that I should have the final say here. I'm the one who's gonna carry it!"

"But everyone would be such a big help. Didn't you see Lin and Keto? Even Thae? They were so excited!"

"Actually, I don't see anything."

"You know what I mean."

"They won't be so excited when it actually comes and they have to pitch in."

"Oh, come on, Lin was fabulous when Su was a baby," he cooed. She allowed him to pull her towards him, but she remained stiff. "I just know Keto would love to help her this time. Thae, too, didn't you feel how happy she was?"

She sighed, exasperated. "Yes..."

"And it's not like we can't afford it," he said, and she knew he was referring to their spacious home in Republic City. His job as a Councilman and her former job as Chief of Police helped their steady income, and saving the world when they were twelve and fifteen didn't hurt. So much had changed since the war had come to a close.

She'd had a crush on him for as long as she could remember. He hadn't even done anything, really. In the beginning, it was more that he was there, that he was an older boy, that she hadn't had any friends her whole life. But as she spent more time with him it steadily became more than that. To her surprise, she'd basically had her pick of the men when she grew up. And still she nursed a silly childhood crush on her oldest friend. Never had it crossed her mind that he might return her affections. Until he did.

She would never forget that day, so long ago now. She and all her friends, the family she'd made all on her own, were together. Katara and Aang, engaged to be married. Zuko and Suki, just four months into their relationship. And Toph and Sokka, the only single ones. Not that that was necessarily a bad thing at eighteen and twenty one, but when everyone else in your group has paired off it can make you feel a bit put out.

"Well," he'd said, turning to her after long minutes of feeling the vibrations of the couples around them making out. "We might as well give it a shot."

Eight months later they were married.

Afterward, Katara laughed and said the only reason they were together was because they were lonely, which was partly true. They weren't afraid to admit that. But they also cared about each other, and their feelings, as they'd discovered, ran far deeper than either of them had realized. Well, deeper than Sokka realized. Toph had known how she felt about him for a long time. 

When she was twenty Toph became pregnant with Lin, and that set off their course for children. Three years later they had the twins, and two years after that Thae was born. Suyin was the last Beifong to make an arrival, and she told herself that was quite enough. Sokka wasn't so sure, and she had to admit his persuasion was powerful. 

"True," she admitted in response to his comment about their financial situation. 

"See? It's perfect."

"I'm thirty years old, Meathead. And I have five kids. Most people would consider that already perfect."

He sighed, and she felt his heartbeat slow down. He was disappointed, and who could blame him? She felt a twinge of guilt.

"You're right, you're right," he said dejectedly, rubbing her arms. "I'm sorry. It's really up to you. I won't push you anymore, I promise."

She blinked. He'd been asking her for so long, she wasn't sure she'd anticipated him ever giving up. "Really?"

"Yeah." 

"You're done? You're really not asking anymore?"

He kissed her cheek, and felt his smirk under his lips. "Nope. If you say no, then it's a no."

"Huh." She pondered this for a few minutes, then sighed and pushed him down onto the bed.

"Hey! Wh - T, what -?"

"You know I can't resist you when you tell me I'm right, Snoozles," she said slyly. She felt his breathing even out as she spread her hands over his chest, and felt it rise up and down as he gave a low chuckle.

"You're the boss," he mused, pulling her down on top of him. She laughed into his mouth as he kissed her firmly, ripping open his shirt as he undid the buttons on hers. 

"Darn right," she whispered. He moved to kissing her neck, and she closed her eyes, thinking that maybe another kid wasn't the worst thing in the world.

-

Three weeks later, Toph awoke without a dirty sock in her mouth, her hand clenching Sokka's hair. She smacked her lips and tried to get the taste of her own breath out of her mouth. There was a strange metallic taste corroding her taste buds. 

She blinked and yawned, scratching her neck. To her right Sokka stirred, and Toph felt the familiar kiss on the small of her back that she received every morning. 

"Morning," he said huskily.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, easing herself out of bed and rummaging around the room, putting on her clothes. She felt his eyes follow her everywhere she went, and she fought a blush. Katara said that he had "eye love" for her. She said it meant that he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She had scoffed at the time, but she secretly searched for it every day now. 

So far he hadn't disappointed her.

When she had pulled on her last article of clothing, he finally got out of bed himself and wrapped his arms around her waist. She twisted around the face him and put her arms around his neck. And slowly they began to dance.

They didn't need to speak. She burrowed her nose into his neck and he laid his head on top of her hair and together they moved to their own rhythm. No music, no beat, no children. Just them. Toph. Sokka. The two of them, together. Swaying to the movement of each other's bodies. 

He moved his hands to her hips, and she closed her eyes. This was the part of her morning that she liked the best. It didn't always happen, but when it did, she was in a good mood for the rest of the day. She breathed more evenly, she was easier with the kids, and she wasn't as anxious for his arrival at the end of the day. This was her safe place, her haven. 

After a few moments of silence, they stopped, and Sokka bent down to press their foreheads together. Their noses just brushed gently, and she smiled.

"I love you," he said.

"Love you, too," she murmured back. He kissed the top of her head and let go of her slowly and surely, allowing her to savor every tingling sensation that occured as her skin burned with his touch. 

The quiet was shattered as a shriek erupted from down the stairs, and Toph sighed. "Guess I should go down there."

"Good luck, mama," he teased, and she smirked. She headed for the door, pausing at the frame. She blinked a few times. 

"T?" He called over to her. "You good?"

She shook her head, placing her hand on her stomach. "Yeah... yeah, I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry so much, Snoozles. I'm fine," she responded, though she had a sneaking suspicion what might be the problem. There was more than one heartbeat inside of her.

She waved him off and climbed down the stairs to find that Lin had taken care of business already. She heard her clinking and clanking at the table and knew she was setting the table for breakfast.

Suyin was in her earth-woven playpen on the floor, her rattle in her hand. When she threw it and it landed outside the fence, she wailed so loudly the dirt around her quaked. A baby earthbender was a dangerous thing.

The twins were with Thae near a window, trying to get her to bend the rain falling outside. She, only being six, couldn't do it very well. Koda laughed at her and Keto sneered that if she was going to be a bender then she should at least be a good one.

As she was surveying the situation she heard Sokka come down and stand beside her. She sighed. "You help Su, I'll deal with them," she told him. He nodded and went to retrieve her rattle, taking care to avoid the cracks she had made.

"Okay, all right," Toph said, coming in between Koda and Thae. "Cool it, you two."

"But, Mom," Keto protested, "We just wanted to see Thae waterbending."

"Well, then you might have to wait a few years," she replied, patting her daughter's head as she came up and put her arms around her legs.

"Ugh," Koda pouted. "How come they all get to be benders? Why aren't we benders, Mom?"

"That's just the way it is." Toph shrugged. "Dad's not a bender, and that didn't stop him from becoming who he is."

"What, a loser?"

"I heard that!" Sokka called from Su's pen. He was now seated inside it, shaking the rattle in front of his daughter's face.

"I meant for you to!" Keto called back. She turned to face her mother. "Mom, it isn't fair. Everyone else in this family is a bender. Even Su! Why can't me and Koda be benders too?"

She threw her hands in the air. "I don't know. Some stuff just can't be explained."

"Hmph." This didn't satisfy the twins, who exchanged a look and went whispering together off to their room.

Toph sighed. This wasn't the first time Koda and Keto had approached her with the question of their bending abilities, and she had to admit she could see why they would be upset. Lin and Suyin were earthbenders like her, and Thae was a waterbender to carry on Sokka's tribe. When each one was born, she had been able to tell what sort of bender they would be, just as she could tell where everything was through seismic sense. But when she took the twins in her arms for the first time, she felt nothing. No solid feel that defined an earthbender, no swift defiance that registered a waterbender. They were simply there.

Sokka tried to talk with them, tried to encourage them that they didn't need bending in order to be successful, but they hardly thought he was the ideal nonbender. They insisted that they wanted to be like their siblings. That was part of the reason Toph knew Koda didn't want another one, for he feared it would just be another bender. And yet she knew that that was why Keto wanted one, in the hopes that maybe it would be normal like her.

She mulled over this as she approached Su's pen. Sokka was now laying on his back with the baby on his stomach, tickling under her chin. Suyin was squealing a little-girl squeal, and Toph smiled at the sound.

"Toph," he said, but it was slightly muffled, as Suyin had just stuffed her fist into his mouth. He wrinkled his nose and growled playfully, trying to swallow her fist.

She smirked. "You must taste pretty good, huh, Su?"

She grinned up at her mother. "Sea prunes," she said. 

"You taste like sea prunes? Gee, no wonder he hasn't spit you out. Pretty sure he's the only one on the planet who likes 'em."

Sokka gently removed Su's fist from his mouth. "Pretty sure Katara likes them, and my father, and the whole Southern Water Tribe."

Toph shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do." He stood up, placing Suyin gently down. She toddlers over to the edge of the pen and Thae came running over, entwining their fingers together. "And now I think I know what we should have for lunch!"

"Ergh." Toph felt her stomach churn at the thought of eating sea prunes. She closed her eyes as a painful wave of nausea came over her.

"T?" Sokka asked, his voice worried. She didn't answer, barely making it to the kitchen before retching into the first thing she would find - a vase. Her throat burned with the sour taste.

When she finished and had rinsed her mouth out, she stumbled to her knees and discovered her entire family crowded around her, Sokka holding Thae's hand, Suyin on Lin's hip, and Koda and Keto's arms hooked.

"Mama?" Thae asked hesitantly.

"I'm okay, guys," she croaked. "I just..." Her eyes bulged as she clamped her hand to her mouth.

"Okay," Sokka said hurriedly. "Guys, let's go upstairs, come on, come on -"

She managed a grateful smile at him before heaving into the vase once more. 

Finally her stomach settled enough for her to slump down onto the floor. She wiped her hand across her mouth, then moved it to her sweaty brow. She hadn't thrown up like that since she had carried Su, nearly four years ago. The metallic taste, the dizziness, the nausea.... the heartbeat. She caught her breath.

Oh, Spirits, she thought to herself and resisting the urge to facepalm. This is just great. 

"Toph?" Sokka's voice echoed through her ears, and she realized he was right next to her. She struggled to her feet, feeling his strong arms help her up.

"Whoa, whoa, easy," he said. She steadied herself and he clasped her hand. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Um... I threw up, genius. What do you think?"

"Oh." He deflated. "I thought - well, I thought maybe -" He shook his head. "Never mind."

"I know what you were thinking," she said. "You were thinking you and Lin and Keto and Thae were going to get your wish."

She could practically feel his blush, and did sense his heart rate pick up. "Well, yeah, but really, can you blame me?"

"No, I guess not," she sighed. Here goes nothing. "Especially since it came true."

His pulse skipped a beat, and she smirked. His grip on her hand tightened. 

"You - you're going to -?"

"Yep."

"You're sure?"

"Yep."

"How do you know?"

"How did I know with Lin? How did I know with the twins? How did I know with Su, with Thae? I just do." She patted his hand. "Congratulations, Papa."

"This is unbelievable," he whispered. "Suddenly I love you a hundred times more." He knelt to the ground and placed his hand on her stomach. 

"Is it really that hard to believe?" she mused as he patted her skin. "I mean really, all things considered -"

"You're missing the point," he said. "We're going to have another baby."

"Uh, yeah. How are we going to tell them?" She cocked her head to the side. "What did you do with them anyway?"

"Oh, they're all in Su and Thae's room. They're fine, just a little shaken up. Pretty sure Lin's the only one who really remembers what that sort of thing means."

"Yeah, I guess." She sighed and hunched over, like the weight of her unborn child was already too much. "Do you think we should do it?"

"Do what?"

"Have the baby."

She felt his grip on her tighten. "What do you mean? What other choice do we have?"

"Katara told me about abortions. They're much safer now."

"What?" He released his grip on her entirely. "Toph, what the hell are you talking about? Don't you want this baby?"

"Um... have you been paying attention at all the last five months?"

"But that was before you got pregnant! Now you are, what's the problem?"

Toph sighed. How could she make him understand? "I'm tired, Sokka. I'm tired of feeling like shit, and now I'm going to feel even shittier. We have five kids. When will it be enough for you?"

"But - but -" he seemed at a loss for words. "But you're already pregnant. Why would we - why would you do that?" His voice was so broken up that she closed her eyes, unable to take it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, trying to grab his hand again. He pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"I just... I can't believe you would even think about doing that."

She narrowed her eyes. "Well, excuse me for maybe not wanting to lug around an extra sixty pounds for nine months. Excuse me for thinking of myself and my body for a change."

"For a change?" He laughed a harsh, un-Sokka-like laugh. "That's all you ever do! You're selfish!"

"I'm the selfish one? You're the one who's been pestering your wife for the last half a year for a baby that you don't even have to carry!"

"Are you saying I wouldn't do anything for them? You're saying you'd do all the work?"

"Yeah, maybe I am! You're horrible at parenting, which one of us refused to punish Lin and Keto because they're 'your baby girls?'"

Toph triumphed at the defeat in his voice. "Okay, yes, but it's not like they did anything illegal!"

"They were dangling Thae out the window by her feet, Sokka! I think that at least deserves a time out!"

"It was the first floor! And I'm not good at punishments, okay? You're better at that stuff."

"Yeah." She huffed. "I'm the bad guy."

"That's not what I meant."

"You're better with them than I'll ever be."

He physically softened, and she felt his anger deflate. "Toph, you're good with them, too."

"They love you. They tolerate me." 

"T..." He came over and wrapped his arms around her. "Is that what this is really about?"

She burrowed her face into his chest and breathed in his musky, familiar scent, willing herself not to cry. This was her safe place when things got bad.

"I just..." she tried to out her feelings into words. "I don't want to let them down. I can't... I don't..."

"Okay, okay," he said softly, tilting her head back so that she could imagine him looking into her eyes. He had said they were green.

"You," he said firmly, "are an amazing mother."

She didn't respond, lost in her thoughts, in her doubts. Sure, she knew her kids loved her, and she loved them. Maybe she didn't show it enough. Maybe that's why they all leaned on Sokka for support. Maybe that's why she always felt like she wasn't good enough, like she was disappointing them somehow. Like she was disappointing Sokka by being a bad mother to his children.

"I mean it."

"I know you do," she said, flexing her toes onto the ground. He wasn't lying. 

"I love you."

"I... I love you."

He pushed her away from his chest, but his breathing was hot on hers and she senses he was examining her. "Why did that feel like a hesitation?"

She let out a low chuckle and thudded her head against him. "I love you. You know I do. It's just that... you said... you said I'm a good mom..?"

"The best." 

She nodded slowly, raising her chin so that she could face him and closing her eyes. "Th - thanks."

He laughed, and she blushed. "Thank you? Did Toph Beifong just say thank you?"

"I wouldn't dwell on it too much," she muttered. "And this wasn't exactly the lunch I had planned for today."

He kissed the crown of her head, and Toph felt all her worries fly away as his lips left her hair. "Don't worry, my love. We have the rest of our lives."


	16. The City of Walls and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka didn't noticed how pretty Toph was until he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter but it was fun to write, hope you like it!

Sokka was lounging in their new living room in Ba Sing Se with Toph and Aang when Katara came rushing in, a roll of paper clasped in her hand and a wide grin on her face. 

"I've got it!" She said excitedly. "I know how we're going to see the Earth King!"

"How are we supposed to do that?" Toph snorted, crossing her legs. She took on the high-pitched voice of Joo Dee, their creepy host in the city. "'One doesn't just pop in on the Earth King!'"

Sokka laughed, and Toph looked pleased. Katara shot him a look and continued.

"The king is having a party tonight at the palace for his pet bear."

"You mean, platypus bear?" Aang asked.

"No. It just says bear."

"Certainly you mean his pet skunk bear," Sokka said.

"Or his armadillo bear?" Toph put in.

"Gopher bear?" Aang added.

Katara shrugged. "Just... bear."

There was a pause. "This place is weird," Toph muttered. Sokka punched her arm playfully.

"The palace will be packed, we can blend in with crowd," Katara said, getting excited again.

"Won't work."

She glared at Toph. "Why not?"

"Well," she said, sitting up, "I hate to break it to you countryfolk, but a real society will spot you a mile away, you've got no manners!"

Katara eyed her warily. She was now sloppily eating a pastry. "I've got no manners? You're not exactly Lady Fancy Fingers yourself!"

Toph burped. "Hey, I grew up in that proper society scene and chose to leave it. You never learned anything. And frankly, it's a little too late to learn."

"But you learned!" Sokka said, sitting up straight and propping up in his elbows at Toph's feet. "You could teach us!"

"Yeah, I'm mastering every element. How hard could some manners be?"

He grabbed a nearby curtain and wrapped himself in it. Sokka did the same, and they faced each other with fake haughtiness. 

"Good evening, Miss Katara Water Tribe. Mr. Sokka Water Tribe. Momo of the Momo Dynasty. Your Momoness," he said in a sophisticated manner. 

"Oh, Avatar Aang, how you do go on," Sokka said with the same rich attitude. 

Aang bowed to him, and, trying to outdo Aang's bow, he bowed back. Aang tried to further out do his bow with a deeper bow and Sokka returned this bow with an even deeper bow. Both of them tried to bow at the same time, but they knocked each other's foreheads' together and fall down.

Toph stood over their tangled legs. "Katara might be able to pull it off, but you two would be lucky to pass as busboys."

Sokka glanced up at her with an angelic expression before remembering that she couldn't see him. "But I feel so fancy!"

-

A few hours later, he and Aang were sitting together on the ground. Aang had just beaten him for the forty fifth time in a row. He was getting tired of losing.

"Ha! I win again!" He crowed, and Sokka groaned, shoving his face into the ground.

Toph and Katara came out from a behind a screen, done up in makeup and exquisite Earth Kingdom clothes. Aang stared openly at Katara, pushing Sokka's forehead.

"What? What is it?" He grumbled, sitting up. He stopped short when he saw Toph.

Her pale green eyes seemed bigger beneath long lashes, framed by blue eyeshadow. Her cheeks were tinged with blush, and her smile was hidden behind a lacy fan. She was wearing a long beige dress, decorated with curlicues and fancy decals, and her raven black hair was down in two plaits across her chest. She'd never looked more... mature. And pretty. 

"Oh -" He stammered, his gaze fixed on her. Luckily Aang was too busy oggling Katara to notice him staring. 

"Wow. You - You look beautiful," he said, wide-eyed. 

"Yeah. Um, you look amazing," Sokka said. "Katara," he added hastily.

Katara opened her mouth to answer Aang, but Toph flicked her fan in front of her face. "Don't talk to the commoners, Katara. First rule of society."

They giggled behind the fans, evidently unaware of Aang and Sokka's awe of their makeovers.

"We'll get into the party, then we'll find a way in through the side gate," Katara explained as they left. Sokka was vaguely aware that his mouth was hanging open as he watched Toph sashay out the door. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Aang regained his composure first, flicking Sokka's forehead. "Hey. Hey, Sokka! Sokka?"

He blinked, shaking his head. "Um. Uh, yeah."

He grinned. "Maybe we... shouldn't talk about that."

"Yeah. Um, that would be good."

-

Later, Aang poked his head around a pedestal at the palace. He glanced around nervously, then returned in hiding with Sokka. "Where are they?"

"I don't know. Just keep an eye out for the king."

"I don't even know what he looks like!"

Sokka waved his arm impatiently. "You know, flowing robe, fancy jewelry, royal..." 

Aang looked around at the room full of robed, jeweled, royal people and moaned. "That could be anyone!"

Sokka growled, and was about to answer when someone tapped his shoulder and said in a hoity-toity voice, "Another crab puff, please."

"You found us!" Aang whisper-shouted as Toph giggled behind her mask. Sokka's eyes flew open as he took her in once more.

"I'd know your little footsteps anywhere, Twinkle Toes," she said in her normal voice, and he blinked. He didn't know of he'd be able to look away.

Katara came rushing up behind her, causing Aang to blush and turn his attention to her. "Hey, thanks for letting us in!"

"Sorry! The guy who let us in won't let us out of his sight."

Sokka, who was still busy staring at Toph, whipped his head up at that. "Guy? What guy?"

Katara glanced around, her face anxious. "I don't see him now. But he's here somewhere."

"Yeah. He's creepy, and his heart rate stayed the same, like the whole time we were with him," Toph added. "That's not normal."

As soon as she said heart rate, Sokka became aware that his was pulsing uncommonly fast. He bit his lip nervously. Would she be able to tell? She narrowed her eyes, her sightless gaze falling on him. He caught his breath. She appeared to be listening, concentrating hard. She gave a small start, her mouth dropping open into the smallest of "O's". He felt his face heat up and they both turned away from each other. 

Aang and Katara continued to fret over the Earth King and Long Feng and Joo Dee, and the only thing Sokka was worried about was whether or not Toph had deciphered his feelings before he had. The thought that she might think... it made him anxious, especially when he remembered Suki. All his feelings were jumbled up in his head, unwilling to be unraveled.

And yet... she really did look beautiful in her dress. He smiled at her, and for a moment he decided to just appreciate how he felt right then.


	17. But Lovers Hold On To Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka must learn to live with guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in modern times!! Toph is 20, Sokka is 23, and they both attend university. Hope you like it and hope you don't cry too much :)

"Okay, go."

Toph furrows her brow in concentration. "Okay. Two households, both alike in dignity. In fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands... er, something... shit."

"Argh. So close," Sokka says, laying the sheet of paper with his girlfriend's English homework on it on the table that separates them. "It's '...civil blood makes civil hands unclean.'"

"I know, I know," she says tiredly. "Good thing I only have to memorize half."

"It's stupid, really. I mean, why the hell did you even take that class, anyway? When are you going to need to recite the prologue to Romeo and Juliet?"

She snatches the paper off the table and crumples it up into a ball. "Besides tomorrow? Never." With gusto she fires it at him, listening for the satisfying smack that means she hit her target.

"Ow!" He rubs his forehead and playfully throws the ball back at her.

"Baby," she smirks, catching it with ease.

"Hey, I wouldn't be so cruel. I don't have to help you with this junk."

"Oh, yes, you do. Didn't you read the handbook that comes with dating me? Chapter 37, Section 3. Clearly states that homework is part of the package. Otherwise, you don't get a piece," she gestures to her body, "of this."

"Hm." He considers this, "Well, the handbook on dating me says that I have the right to challenge the handbook of my significant other. So it looks like you're out of luck, Miss Beifong."

Toph rolls her eyes, "I can counter that. My handbook says that I'm always right, so boo-hoo for you." She grins.

"You're lucky I love you," he grumbles, and she laughs, sticking her head out over the table. It had become tradition for Sokka to kiss her forehead whenever he said that she was lucky he loved her. He does, and she can feel the smile under his lips. She tilts her head back so that she presses hers against them. He cups her face, holding her chin gently before breaking away first.

"I love you, too," she says smugly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." He gets up and walks over to the kitchen in their little apartment, rummaging through the cupboards for a few minutes. “You want some ramen?”

"Sure," she says, tracing her finger along the table. They just celebrated their second anniversary a few months prior, which was when Sokka had suggested that they move in together. So here they are, in an apartment complex about two miles from campus. Number 4, third floor. She memorized it quickly, as she does most things. There's no way for her to double-check herself unless she asks someone. If she has to, the someone is most likely Sokka, which is easy enough. They're always together. But it isn't very often she has trouble remembering things, which is why this English assignment is biting her in the ass. It must be the old English that's confusing her.

A little ding interrupts her thoughts, and she hears Sokka slide his phone from its charging position on the counter. He mutters under his breath, types out a quick reply, and turns to her. 

"Listen, Zuko just texted me. He and Suki were at it again last night, she just left and apparently he needs a shoulder to cry on or something," he sighs, and she does too. Zuko and Suki, while never having dated, are known to hook up quite often. Usually, their one-night stands are followed by a frantic text from Zuko to Sokka and Suki to Katara. She used to send them to Toph, too, but got over that quickly once she realized that Toph hardly ever texted anyone back. Unless of course, your name is Sokka. "Do you want to come, or..."

She wrinkles her nose in distaste. "Naked Zuko? No, thank you."

"You do know you can't see him, right?" he asks, bemused. "And he'll have clothes on by the time we get there."

"You don't know that," she says. "Just go, I'll be all right. I'm a big girl."

"If you say so." He kisses her firmly on the lips before he opens the front door, swinging his car keys on his finger.

"Oh - Wait! Snoozles, hold on," she calls. He comes back in. "Can you just grab my phone and earbuds? Pretty please?"

He exhales but does as she asks. "Thank you," she says sweetly. "Did you turn the stove off?"

"Yeah!" he yells as he shuts the door. "I'll be back soon!"

She waves her hand and waits for the door to slam, then counts his footsteps down the hall and down the stairs until she can no longer hear him. Then she plugs in her earbuds and uses the voice feature on her phone to play her playlist. She taps her hand on the table, nodding her head to the beat. Katara had put this together for her a few months ago, her latest one. She makes her a new one every so often and has a list of songs that Toph tells her she likes. 

A whiff of air passes under her nose, and she raises her eyebrows. Something doesn't smell right. She curses under her breath and rips her earbuds out. The stove is making a rattling noise, like the lid of the pot is moving off. He probably hadn't shut the stove off like he said he had, and now the task fell upon her.

She sighs and pushes herself up and off the chair, toward the stove. The stove can't just stay on, even she has enough sense to know that the house would burn down. She fumbles for the buttons, feeling like an idiot. It must be jammed.

No sooner has her fingers brushed the handle of the oven when the boiling water pot explodes with a bang. Toph screams, dropping to the ground with her hands covering her head. Flames lick her hair and dance around her feet, teasing her, threatening her. The heat douses her in waves.

Water, she thinks. I need water. Water puts fires out.

She drapes herself over the counter, coughing on the smoke that's already clouding the room. She wipes her arm across the top, feeling for the bottled water she and Sokka keep there. Her hand strikes gold, and she hastily opens it and flings the cap to who knows where. She throws the water onto the fire, but if anything it feels like it only gets bigger.

Toph coughs more heavily now, opening bottle after bottle, frantically trying to put the fire out. It doesn't respond, only growing with each water droplet she pours on it.

Finally, she runs out of water bottles. Her throat is closing up, her heart is slowing down. She gasps for air, her sightless eyes closing tightly, but there is nothing but smoke for her shrieking lungs to take in. She tries to crawl away, but she has no idea which way is which. Her sense of direction, however feeble it was, is completely gone. The smoke twists inside her brain, clouding her thoughts, and she knows. There's no way she's going to get out of this.

She manages to choke out, "Sokka," before she collapses and the fire wins.

-

Just a few short miles away, unaware that anything is wrong, Sokka swerves to avoid a rabbit on the road coming home from Zuko's place. He shakes his head, smirking. Toph always jumps dramatically whenever he makes a move that's even remotely out of the ordinary, her face pouted in mock anger.

"Watch where you're going, Snoozles," she'd say, sneering. "You could have killed me." 

"Careful, Meathead, that looked like a pothole. Don't want to bust your tires. AGAIN."

"My God, Sokka, do you even look at the road? Didn't you see that little old lady?"

He chuckles to himself, turning into their neighborhood. He loves that girl, no matter how much she annoys him. His father and grandmother have known Toph for years and consider her practically part of their family. He isn't one hundred percent sure Toph's parents like him, but they tolerate him. And, as she often says, they don't really like anyone.

Sokka has to think about it, but... maybe it's time to start thinking about proposing. He knows how he feels about Toph, and he's pretty sure he knows how she feels about him. Maybe it's too soon, maybe they should wait until after she graduates. But still, he likes the idea of putting a ring on it. He can ask Katara. She'll know what to do. Humming happily, he turns down their street and hits the brakes so fast his car does a one-eighty. The window comes down quickly and he sticks his head outside, blinking to make sure he's looking correctly.

His apartment building is on fire. Smoke and flames are pouring out of the third-story window - his third-story window.

He jumps out of the car, not bothering to turn it off, and bolts toward the yard. Firemen are gathered below the flames, trying to extinguish them with a large hose filled with fluffy white stuff. Policemen are standing with the couple that lives above them, asking them questions and gesturing. Sokka doesn't care about any of that. He heads straight for the ambulance.

"Hey! Hey, wait!" he shouts, doubling over once he reaches the EMTs. "HEY!"

One of them turns to him. She is a tall woman, with dark brown hair and chestnut eyes. She faces him with a hard set face. "Who are you?"

"This... that's my house," he pants. "What - what the hell is going on?"

She sighs exasperatedly like that should be perfectly obvious. "You're apartment caught on fire, young man. Gas leak."

"But... but..." He can barely breathe, much less get the words out. "My girlfriend... my girlfriend is in there! T! TOPH!"

The EMT glances at her colleagues, then back at him. She gestures to a bench nearby. "Why don't you have a seat there and I'll have an officer come talk to you."

"I..." Sokka's voice dies in his throat. He allows the EMT to direct him to the bench and sit him down, giving him a firm pat on the shoulder. He tries to slow his breathing down, tries to exhale more slowly, but his heartbeat won't respond. Faster, faster, faster. He plays with his thumbs, his shirt, a stray blade of grass. Anything to keep his hands busy. 

He catches a glimpse of a police officer leaving his neighbor and coming over to him. Quickly he glances away, his heart filling with dread. Still the officer moves forward, and still he won't look at her, for the longer he ignores her the longer Toph is alive for him.

"Mr. Tonraq?"

Sokka shuts his eyes, wishing he could block this all out. "Yeah... yeah, that's me."

"My name is Officer Brown," she says crisply, holding out her hand. He doesn't take it, but she doesn't bat an eye. "You live at Number 4 in this apartment complex, correct?"

He nods.

"Your apartment caught fire sometime this morning from a gas leak," Officer Brown explains. "Your neighbor over there called us when he smelled the gas, and we discovered that your entire floor burned. Fortunately, only your apartment suffered fatal damages. The others on the floor are only cosmetic issues."

"F- fatal?" he stammers.

The officer takes the seat next to him and puts her hand on his shoulder, pointing the other at something Sokka hadn't seen before. A stretcher. A long, white stretcher with a long, white sheet covering a not-so-long body. A pale hand falls out from underneath the sheet as an EMT rolls the body onto the ambulance. 

"There was a girl inside when the fire started," Officer Brown says.

"No."

"Your neighbors identified her as a Miss Toph Beifong."

"No!"

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Tonraq."

"NO!" Sokka jumps up out of his seat. Officer Brown opens her mouth to argue, but he's already gone, his feet carrying him frantically to the stretcher, determined to catch it before it's hauled into the ambulance. He grabs the sheet despite the EMTs protests and yanks it back. 

His world shatters.

Toph's face, her beautiful, beautiful face, is burnt to a crisp. Charred flesh and spilled blood is all that remained of the body she had offered him not even an hour previously. Her gorgeous, pale green eyes are the only thing that still makes her recognizable, but they're widened in a look of absolute horror. Her clothes are melted to her skin. She looks like a candle, dripping with wax. Only it isn't wax.

The ground sways under his feet, and that's the last thing he remembers. 

-

When he comes around, he doesn't know where he is for a moment. It definitely isn't his and Toph's apartment... the decorations are different, and the couch is harder.

The couch. He pats it, realizing that he is laying on someone else's couch, and sits straight up. Someone else's blanket falls off his chest onto someone else's floor. He blinks a few times, rubbing the back of his neck. For some reason, he isn't wearing a shirt. He gets up, stretching and yawning and scratching his back. Where is he? The couch looks familiar enough... he glances around once again and comes to the conclusion that he is at Aang and Katara's. 

Aang and Katara's? Sokka cocks his head to the side. What's he doing there? Is Toph here too? She must be, he never goes anywhere without her. Except... except when he went over to Zuko's.

He feels like he has been punched in the stomach. Was that yesterday? Is it still today? Toph is... Toph is...

"Katara!" he shouts, fumbling to untangle himself from the sheets. "KATARA! KATARA!"

He hears a vague thump from down the hall, and a door flying open. His sister, her long hair a mess and her her makeup smudged, comes running towards him, hurriedly tying on a robe. She grabs his face in her hands.

"What is it?" she gasps. "What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, mesmerized by her eyes. They're blue, like his, but at the moment they are nothing like his. Hers are black with mascara and eyeliner, salt crusties forming in the corners and tear lines streaking her cheeks. Her hair is a rat's nest.

"Katara," he says hoarsely. "What... what happened?"

She bites her lip and lets go of his face like she knew what was wrong all along. "What do you remember?"

"I - I remember..." he closes his eyes, struggling to recall why he might have crashed on his sister's couch. "Did we get drunk? Where's Toph?"

"Sokka..."

"Do you still have that stupid rule about us not sleeping in the same room? Is she in the spare or something?" He's aware that his voice is crawling higher and higher, and he's aware that what he's saying isn't the truth. He knows, he knows, he knows. But he doesn't want to believe it.

"Tell me... tell me what you remember," she says again, hooking her arms together anxiously. "The officer told me to ask you what you remember and go from there."

He doesn't want to tell her what he remembers. He wills himself not to tell her what he remembers. And yet his lips are moving, forming words without permission.

"There was a fire."

Katara nods. "That's right, Sokka. There was a fire."

"I went to Zuko's because he and Suki hooked up again, and I came back home, and the apartment... it was on fire..." He slumps back down onto the couch, his face buried in his hands. "Don't make me say anything else. Please."

Katara sits down beside him silently and rubs his back. She doesn't say anything, and neither does he.

"I saw her, Katara," he says finally, his voice muffled by his hands. "I saw her. Under the sheet. I saw her face."

"I know, Sokka, I know."

"No. No, you don't," he says. "You didn't see her. Her face... her eyes..." He lets out a soft cry, a wail like a tiny child's. Katara keeps stroking his back, picking up the blanket and wrapping it around him. He holds onto it tightly.

"Is she really dead?" he whispers.

Katara closes her eyes, her hands still moving steadily up and down his back. "I never, ever, ever thought I would have to do something like this. Well," she pauses and laughs quietly. "I did think I would. At least to some extent. After all, I was going to school to become a doctor. But -" she pauses again, this time with a sob "- Sokka, you have to understand that I never thought it would be one of you, one of my family -"

"Is she dead?" It comes out harsher than he means it to. She recoils.

"Yes," she says quietly. "She's dead."

The words hit him like a slap to the face. Toph is dead. Toph. His girlfriend, Toph Beifong. She's dead. Gone. She isn't coming back. He's alone. She's left him alone.

A ray of sunlight peeks through the window to his right, and he glares at it through his tears. Nothing should be bright, nothing should be warm. Nothing should be sunny or beautiful or alive ever again, because she isn't. It isn't fair. He sniffs, the ray shooting him through the heart. And with it, a realization. 

The fire was caused by a gas leak. He had been using their gas stove to make ramen. He hadn't finished, though. He'd left their stove running. He'd left her alone with their gas stove running.

"Did you turn the stove off?"

"Yeah! I'll be back soon!"

"Fuck." He doubles over, and Katara jumps back just in time to avoid being thrown up on. "Sokka!" She hurries to grab a bucket from the kitchenette and shoves it under his chin. He continues to heave into it, Katara rubbing his back and murmuring, "Shh... you're okay, you're okay..."

Sokka lifts his head up heavily. "No, I'm not. I... Katara, I -" He's cut off by another round of heaving, and waits until his stomach settles enough for him to crash back onto the couch. She has to know. She has to understand the weight of what he's done.

"I killed her. I killed Toph."

"No." Katara sets the bucket down with a thud. "Sokka, you listen to me, and you listen good. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault."

"Don't. I left that stove on, I left her alone to die -"

"It was an accident. Accidents happen. You did not do it on purpose."

"So you're saying that I did kill her, then."

"What? No! I -" She looks extremely uncomfortable now. "Well, I mean, uh..."

"Got it, thanks," he deadpans, turning so that his back is to her. "Just go away."

"Sokka, please."

"Just go, okay? Leave me alone. Toph is dead. Nothing matters."

"How can you say that? I don't... I don't..." Katara struggles for words for a few seconds before pursing her lips and sitting down on the couch. Her hand hovers above her brother's back. "I hate to say it, but right here, right now? It does sort of feel like that."

"You can't say that. You don't know her like I do," he mumbles. "You don't love her the way I do-" He takes in a shaky breath and pushes her hand away. "The way I did."

"Sokka -"

"Just go!" He turns, his blue eyes as stormy and dangerous as the sea. "Before I make you."

Her face drops, but she doesn't argue. Her hand leaves his back and he waits until he can no longer hear her footsteps to glance up. She's gone.

He presses his face further into the pillow so no one can hear his cries. He sobs, harder than he ever has before, screaming and screaming and screaming until he's sure his voice will fade. But it doesn't. His wails are raw and powerful; he hadn't even known he could make such a sound.

Toph is dead. Toph is dead. Toph is dead. The words rattle around in his brain, not just as he lays there shrieking into his pillow, but for the next two weeks. They won't leave him alone. The words tease him, striking him at random times during the day. When he wakes up from long, fitful sleeps. When he stares blankly at the wall in front of him for hours at a time. When Katara comes to switch out the plate she sets in front of him for each meal. He doesn't eat, he doesn't shower, he doesn't go to school. Every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day he is haunted.

Toph is dead. And it's his fault.

Sometimes he goes for walks, mostly when Katara or Aang are home. Not that he isn't grateful that they've taken him in, but it's really the last thing on his mind. He can't stand to be in their presence; their pity drowns him. His apartment, Katara told him during one of their one-sided conversations, was being repaired, but she said that he was welcome to stay as long as he needed. 

Good. There was no way in heaven or hell that he was going back to that God-awful place. Not alone. Not without her.

He and his sister haven't exchanged many words since he had told Katara to get lost, and he hasn't said anything to Aang at all. He'll shoot him a small, sad smile, and Sokka will turn away and mutter that he's going outside. Which is where he spends most of his time when he's not parked on the couch, staring at nothing.

When he walks, he leaves behind the suffocation of their silence, but he is introduced to the silence of Toph. Everything around him reminds him of her. The grass that lines the sidewalk is the same shade of green as her eyes. The birds that chirp in the trees around him sound exactly like her beautiful voice. One day, as he walks aimlessly through the neighborhood, he catches a whiff of someone barbecuing, and he very nearly collapses to the ground, overwhelmed by the smell. Toph loved barbecue. 

The world is singing, and he is furious that she can't sing along. Toph will never again hear their front door open and shut or the sound of her own yawning or their old, battered car playing her favorite song. She won't get to play driver when he takes them somewhere or embarrass him in public anymore or scream at him when they fight or kiss him when they make up.

Toph is dead. Toph is dead. Toph is dead.

He has no one to blame but himself. 

He is wandering around one day, his arms hanging at his sides with no purpose and his head in the clouds, when his feet decide that this isn't they way they want to spend the day. One minute is standing on the corner of the block, watching a late spring breeze shake the branches of a tree, and the next he is speeding along the road, his legs moving without instruction to do so. Where they are taking him, he isn't sure, but he has a suspicion. One that's confirmed the minute his feet stop moving.

MOUNT ST. MARY'S CEMETERY. The words are charred, blackened with age, but they're there.

He hadn't gone to the funeral. It was too painful, and he's pretty sure Toph's parents probably wouldn't want the man who killed their daughter to come anyway. Katara, Aang, Zuko, and Suki had gone, though, and Katara told him this was where she was buried. That maybe he'd feel a bit better if he went to visit her grave. She said it would give him clarity.

Well. He isn't about to give Katara the satisfaction of being right, but he supposes it can't make him feel any worse to go check it out. He walks amongst the tombstones, searching for her name. Her belonging to one of the richest families in town, it's no surprise that she's dead front and center.

TOPH BEIFONG  
BELOVED DAUGHTER AND FRIEND  
REST IN PEACE

The date of her birth and death are below. Sokka inhales sharply at the sight. Of course he knows that she was only twenty when she died, but it's still a shock to see it there on her grave. It's very... permanent, to see it set in stone.

"Um. Uh, h-hey, T," he begins softly. This is stupid. It isn't like she can actually hear him. And yet he finds himself laying down next to the grave, his hands settling underneath his head like a cushion. This was how he always laid when he and Toph would go out on a picnic or something. She would always curl up beside him, their hands entwined on his stomach. He puts his hand there now, but there is no comforting squeeze in return. Just the wind.

He takes a shaky intake of air. "So, um, it's been kind of crazy here lately," he says. "I, ah, woke up on Aang and Katara's couch. You remember how hard it was? And I thought, at first, maybe we had gone out and got drunk. Like we used to, all the time. Do you remember? And then Katara came running in..."

Suddenly he's spilling his guts to the stone next to him, telling it every single thing that has happened over the last two weeks. How Katara sets out a new plate for each meal but he never eats any of it. How Zuko and Suki came to visit when they could, talking to each other and Aang and Katara but never him. How everyone was almost scared to speak to him, afraid he would blow up. How the walks he took every day were unbearable because she had left her mark on every single thing he saw, but he couldn't stop because the silence at home was even more terrible.

And then he goes even further, sitting up and falling onto the ground face first, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tells her how sorry he is, that he never, ever meant for her to die, and that he doesn't know he'll ever learn to live without her.

"Toph," he sobs, the sound echoing through the lonely graveyard. "I don't know what to do. I can't do this without you. Oh, God, T, I'm so, so, sorry I left that stove on, I wasn't thinking, I don't know what I was doing, I didn't know you would die..." He trails off, his salty tears mixing with the dirt under his face, creeping in his mouth. He doesn't care. Nothing matters.

"Well, that was a heartwarming speech."

Sokka whips his head up, his eyes darting wildly around. There's no way that voice belongs to who he thinks it does. There's no way... No way...

There she is.

"Hey, Snoozles," Toph says casually. She's laying on the other side of her grave, her body in the position it was whenever they went on a picnic - curled to the side, her hand laying out onto thin air. Just the way his had been earlier.

"TOPH!" he screams, jumping up in shock. He blinks, and blinks, and blinks again. She's still there, her long black hair and her beautiful green eyes and her always cut up legs. He leaps down, trying to grab her hand, but it goes straight through. She's made of smoke.

"Easy there, Meathead," she laughs, and he feels his heart break into a million little pieces at the sound. "Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm not really here."

"Wha -but..." he gestures to her figure, which is moving into a standing position and turning to face him. He mirrors her. "But I see you. You're here."

"Am I?" she asks. "Take a closer look."

He does. She's right - if he looks directly at her, she is slightly transparent, but if he sees her out of the corner of her eye, she looks as solid as a real person.

"You're a ghost," he decides.

She shrugs. "To some degree. But I'm not going to bore you with details. I only have a few minutes." 

He doesn't even know where to begin. "A few minutes? But..."

"Listen to me," she says. She tries to take his hands, but they go right through his. "Listen. Are you listening?"

He nods, tears brimming his eyes. "Yeah."

"First of all, just let me say that I love you. I love you so much, and I always will," she says, looking like she might cry herself. "I don't know if I was meant to leave this early, but I did. And it isn't fair, but that's how it is."

He swallows. "Um, about - about how you, ah, died..."

"Shh." She puts a smoky finger to his lips. "Katara was right. It's not your fault."

"But... but it is! I left the stove on, I left you alone there to die..."

"It was an accident. Accidents happen," she says, exactly what Katara had, so long ago now. "I do not blame you at all, Sokka. Not one bit."

"Not one bit?"

"Not one bit." She smiles. "Remember that."

"I - I will." She nods and moves to pull away, but he slashes through her arms. "Wait. Wait, no, please don't go yet. I need you here with me."

She sighs. "You don't know how much I wish I could, Sokka. But I have to go. I don't belong here anymore."

"Then let me die," he pleads. "Let me die, so I can go with you. Please, Toph. I can't live without you. Life isn't worth living without you. Please let me die."

"Oh, Sokka... I'm dead. That's the truth. But you... you're alive." She cups his face in her smoky palm. "Live for me, okay?"

"No... please, T... please..."

"Promise me." Toph is firm now, urgency creeping into her voice. "Promise me that you'll live for me. Live for both of us. I don't want to see you down here for a long, long time."

He's crying, but he still manages a watery smile. "See me?"

"Oh!" She's crying too, a fact he hadn't noticed until she broke into a wide grin. "Yeah. One of the perks to being dead means I finally get to see."

"Wow, T. That's... that's great."

"I know. And I ended up with the most gorgeous boy in the world," she says. She's already beginning to fade, becoming more and more see-through no matter how much he doesn't look at her. "I love you, Sokka. I love you."

"I love you, too," he replies thickly. His tears are falling heavily now. "I love you. I love you. I love you!"

She goes to kiss him, and she's almost there before her form gives way completely, and he's left sobbing and wailing and hugging himself, the wind picking up as though it has just gained another soul to watch over the world. He doesn't know how he feels about that, but he does know how he feels right now. Sad. Very sad, and angry, and heartbroken. But also determined. He promised that he would live for her, live for both of them.

And so he will.


	18. Show It to the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph and Sokka have to pretend that they don't care about each other at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to TinCanTelephone here on AO3 and @cats-and-metersticks on tumblr for helping me edit this one! Thanks so much!

Katara told her once that love is blind. That when two people cared about each other so much, they ignored everything else, no matter what it was. Love, she said, guides all. But it didn't hurt to have a bit of guidance from others as well.

Toph replied by saying that love isn't the only thing that's blind, and waved her hand sarcastically in front of her useless eyes. Katara scoffed, saying that she never took anything seriously.

But Toph’s dead serious. 

Katara can't know. Can she? No. They've been so careful, these past few months. Hushed conversations in dark corners, a small touch on the back now and then. But never more than that. When they are others around, they put on their masks. They bicker. They argue. They fight. They get on each other's nerves and act exactly how they're supposed to.

Distant. Detached. Indifferent.

When they are alone, it becomes so much more than that.

The minute the door closes, the moment the heartbeats cease, the second Aang or Zuko or Katara or Lin or whoever is gone, they drop the act. She sighs in relief, he hooks his arm around her waist, and they relax. Here, there is no one to judge them, no one to criticize them. Here there are no prying questions and innocent ears. They can finally be themselves. Toph and Sokka. Sokka and Toph.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you." She says it back. They are free to lace their fingers together without fear of being seen, for in truth neither one of them can stand to be apart for either long. She becomes hungry for his touch, his voice, his lips.

They weren't always like this. She had to work her way up to allowing herself to be touched, to allow him to be close to her. She wanted it. Oh, she wanted him to be hers. But she had to be sure that she knew what she was getting into. 

She had her fair share of failed flings, hookups, one night stands. Lin's father had left her while she was still pregnant, and that didn't exactly make her eager to try again. She rejected man after man, convinced they would leave her without so much as a goodbye. It was easier to pretend she doesn't care. It was easier to be bitter.

He isn't. 

Sokka is anything but bitter. He's still light and calm and funny and thoughtful - everything she isn't. Everything she could be. She feels whole when she's with him. Two halves of the same soul. When they're together, she, too, becomes light and calm and funny and thoughtful. She loves him. He loves her. Why should they hide it?

They wouldn’t understand. Not Lin, not even their friends. They know her as Toph Beifong, the Greatest Earthbender in the World. The Toph they know is tough, headstrong, and stubborn. And so is the Toph that Sokka knows, but there's more to it than that. How could she make them see that the person she was with Sokka was the real her? Besides, once they tell their friends, their family, their bubble will pop. Everyone will be involved, not just them. Things will get more complicated. 

So she manages to live off of the small pockets of bliss they sneak into each day. Like today. Lin is visiting Kya on Air Temple Island. They're expecting Toph this afternoon, to pick Lin up, but she doesn't have to leave for another few hours. So here she is, in Sokka's arms.

"You smell nice," he says, his tone slightly muffled. His head is half-buried in her hair.

"Oh, yeah?" She wrinkles her nose and laughs. "Like what? Those God-awful sea prunes you're always on me to try?"

"Why is that the first thing you think of? I actually ate some for lunch. Did you try them? Without me? How dare you."

"I did no such thing. You'll never get me to eat those."

"We'll see," he says, sitting up on the couch. She punches him for effect, and he cackles, pushing her down onto the cushions with him on top of her. "Well, since you won't try them I guess I'll have to force you."

He grins and kisses her mouth firmly, ignoring her squeals of laughter. She threads her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to her. These moments, these minutes frozen in time are what makes it worth it. She is proud that she can call him hers.

Finally she pushes him off, listening for the dull thud of him hitting the floor. She gets up and brushes herself off. "I should get going."

"Aww. Party pooper." He sighs and stands up next to her, fixing her hair. She glares and slaps his hands away.

"I can fix my own hair, thanks," she says. Her fingers fly expertly in and out of the strands, putting them back into place. She turns and faces him for approval.

He nods. "You look beautiful."

Toph exhales and walks briskly past him to the front of her apartment. They've been doing this for almost a year, and still the compliments make her face flush. She tries to brush it off, play it cool. It doesn't work. Especially since he keeps them coming, like a steady stream of words and phrases and sentences, all proclaiming his love for her. 

She isn't very good at returning them - her instinct is still to punch him and glare - but she's working on it. Besides, he knows that's how she shows affection. He's known it since he was fifteen years old.

He catches up to her in the hallway, his arms reaching around her waist. He picks her up and sends her spinning through the air, dazzlingly fast. Her breaths are fast and shallow, and she loves every second. When he puts her down, she grins and flexes her hands.

"Oh, no," he says, his eyes widening.

"Oh, yes," she replies, and without hesitation picks him up and flings him over her back. He laughs breathlessly as she turns over and over and over again to make the room spin. For him, at least. It's very hard for her to get dizzy.

She stops, letting her grip on him loosen, and he tumbles headfirst onto the floor. 

"Ow," he mutters. She stands above him and rolls her eyes, holding out her hand in a 'truce' fashion. He grabs it and she hauls him up. "Feisty."

"Always," she smirks.

"Listen, why don't I just go with you to get the kid? I don't have anything coming up until tomorrow." He shifts his weight so that he's balanced on one arm stretched out above her head. "We could have a sleepover."

She feels a blush creeping along her cheeks and wills herself to stay calm. "The last time we had a sleepover, you and Lin stayed up for hours and when I finally fell asleep, you drew on my face."

"Oh, yeah!" He laughs, leaning his head down. "I remember that."

"And the time before that, she caught us in my room," she says through clenched teeth. "Do you know how many weeks it took to forget that little incident?"

"Okay, yes, that was a little embarrassing. But she got over it quickly, and it's not like it'll happen again. We'll be more careful."

"You mean I'll be more careful. You're the one who's always down for whatever, wherever, whenever."

"What can I say? I'm a flexible guy."

"Ugh." Toph scoffs and shrugs her cloak on. "I don't know what I see in you. Oh, that's right. I don't see anything at all." She blinks pointedly and he laughs, opening the door. Together they head for the ferry that will take them to Air Temple Island.

When they arrive, they find Aang, Katara, Bumi, Kya, Lin, and Tenzin out on the beach. The kids are chasing each other around on the sand, Kya bending the water with Lin attempting to bend the sand and Tenzin struggling to fly. Aang and Katara are seated on a bench, their arms around each other, their heads pointing down, identical dreamy smiles plastered on their faces.

Sokka fake-retches. "Oogies. They're so clingy."

"I literally left to go to the bathroom on the ferry and when I came back you wouldn't let me go," she says, and triumphs as he splutters. "Who's clingy now?"

He opens his mouth the argue when Katara calls out, "Toph!"

"Hey," she says as Katara flings herself onto her. "How was the little tyke?"

"Ooh - ooh, I missed you," she replies, letting go. "Lin was, um, the usual. She's like your mini-me."

"I made lots of trouble for Aunt Katara, just like you told me to, Mama!" Lin says, coming up behind them. Toph kneels down and ruffles her hair.

"That's my girl."

She beams, then turns to Sokka. "Uncle Sokka!"

"Hey, kid," he says. "Need an extra player for that tag game?"

"Uh, huh. Me and Kya are against Bumi and Tenzin, but since Bumi doesn't have bending he keeps saying it's unfair..." She drags him over to where her cousins are and he taps Toph's hand lightly before being pulled away. 

An electric shock travels up her arm and roots her to the spot at his touch. She freezes, her hand hovering over the spot where his fingers crossed her skin, and then drops her arm. She inhales sharply, hoping Katara didn't notice or didn't pick up on anything.

"Come on, let's have some tea while they play," Katara says casually, and Toph can't decipher her tone, her mood. She leads her into the house, sits her down, and hands her a steaming cup of tea.

"So. Tell me everything! How's work? I feel like we never get to just sit down and talk anymore."

"Yeah." Toph sips her tea. "Work's good. My superior is such an idiot, though, it's like he can't do anything without any guidance at all."

Katara nods sympathetically. "Aang always complains about the men on the Council who don't seem to know what the heck they're doing."

"Don't let Sokka hear you saying that."

She laughs. "No, I'll admit that my brother is one of the good ones. A born leader, no matter how much he denies it sometimes." She cocks her head to the side in a gossipy fashion. "Speaking of Sokka..."

Oh, no. Toph braces herself.

"Why is he here? I mean, we weren't expecting him," she says. "Did he... come with you? Like, with you with you?"

Play it cool. You've got this. "Why not?" she challenges. "He hasn't been here in a while, I'm sure he wants to see the kids…"

"Toph."

"And he likes to check in on you guys, I mean, we all do, don't we?"

"Toph-"

"It's not like he- we-" She's run out of excuses. She's babbling now, she knows she is.

Katara must know it too, because she says, "Stop," and places her hand on top of Toph's.

"What's really going on?" she says quietly.

"I– I– " she stammers, but Katara's voice is soft and sweet, and she's had all these emotions bottled up inside her for months and months with no one to open up to, and suddenly she's spilling her guts about everything.

"We're together," she confesses. "We've been... seeing each other for nearly a year now. We didn't tell anyone, not even Lin. I don't know why, I don't know how... well, maybe I kind of do."

Katara raises her eyebrows. "How do you mean?"

Toph bites her lip, unsure how to start. "We… he came over one night to watch Lin for me. I came back, and they were on the floor, playing… they were both so happy. I could feel it. And then we put her to sleep together, and he asked if he could have a drink before he left. So we did. And we just… talked."

"Just talked?" Katara sounds doubtful.

"Just talked. And then the next time I had a meeting, he watched her again, and we did the same thing. Again and again and again. I don't know when it became more. Honest, I don't. But then it did, and he told me he loved me, and I said it back, and suddenly it dawned on me that no one even knew that we were as close as we were," she says. "So we just kept it that way."

Katara is getting there. She's feeling the story, getting the gist. So Toph tells her more. She tells her every little detail, every minor thing. How the feel of his heartbeat gives her butterflies in her stomach, how Lin had caught them together, how he tried to teach her to bake and they ended up setting her kitchen on fire. She even laughs a few times, recalling the memory.

Katara listens patiently, nodding and taking sips of tea, until she finishes, panting slightly and out of breath. She remains silent.

"Well?" Toph says, somewhat annoyed. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I... I'm not sure what to say." She sets down her cup with a thud. She sounds tense. "Are you sure this is the right thing for you?"

"What?" she scoffs. "Of course I'm sure! We've been doing this for a year, I think we can make it work."

"I don't doubt that you can, I just don't want to see you guys break up. We never see Suki anymore," she says softly, pursing her lips. "I don't want to lose my best friend."

"I thought you would be happy for us," she mutters.

"Oh, Toph." Her tone is sad now. "If you wanted me to be happy for you, then why did you hide it?"

"Don't you get it? This is why!" she says, getting up. "All this advice, the unwanted stuff, I didn't ask for any of it! We're doing great! I'm - I'm happy!"

"Really?"

She nods, suddenly exhausted. It's been a long time since she's fought with someone with this much passion behind her words. "People... people don't often like who I really am. But he's the person who makes me feel good about who I really am."

Katara has to smile at that. "That's really nice, Toph."

"He wanted to tell you," she says, putting her head down. "He wanted everyone to know how much he loved me. But I said no. And now - and now you know, and I don't know what he'll do if he finds out - when he finds out -"

"Hey. Hey, take it easy, okay?" Katara puts her hand on her shoulder, easing her back into the chair. "If he's the one who wanted to tell, then I'm sure he'll be fine."

Toph nods, massaging her head. "Yeah. I guess."

"And I'm sorry about what I said," she continues. "All I want is for you to be happy, Toph. If you're happy, then so am I."

She sniffs. "Thanks, Katara."

"Anytime." They embrace each other tightly for a long second, Katara stroking her back with Toph holding her sides. 

"Okay, enough mushy stuff," Toph says finally, letting go. "I'm starving. What've you got that's good?"

Katara rolls her eyes but leads her through the kitchen and outside once more. Her 'sight' becomes fuzzy as her feet transfer from stone to sand, and she instead chooses to remain where she can feel. Katara continues on.

"Kids! Aang! Dinner!" she calls out. "Come and get it!"

"Aw, yeah!" Bumi leads his brother and sister, who is clutching Lin's hand while racing up the sand to the house. Katara pats each child's head as they pass her and kisses Aang's cheek before nudging Toph and shutting the door.

"All right, all right," she mutters, turning to Sokka, who had followed the kids but hadn't gone inside. "I need to talk to you, Meathead."

She feels his heart skip a beat, and hers speeds up. She takes a deep breath. Katara said that he was the one who wanted to tell, which is true. He'll be fine with it. Everything is fine.

"So what's up?" he asks, lacing her fingers through his and kissing them. 

Better to just rip the bandage off. "Katara knows."

She braces herself for the anger that is surely coming - a startled gasp, perhaps, or a loud "WHAT?!" 

But it doesn't come. Instead he laughs brightly and picks her up, swinging her through the air like he had that morning at her apartment. Around and around she goes, listening to him giggle like a little boy until she finds herself giggling too. Finally he sets her down and kisses her firmly.

She's winded from the kiss and the spinning, but she manages to speak. "You - you're not mad?"

He sighs, but she can hear the grin in his voice. "Why would I be mad? You were always the one who didn't want to tell anyone, not me." Then he grabs her shoulder like he's had a sudden thought. "How did she even find out? Are you okay with it?"

"You know what? I am, actually." And as she says it, she realizes that it's the truth. She is okay with it. Katara was fine with it, eventually. Toph knows she only means well. "And I guess she saw all the hand holding? I'm not sure. She just started asking me all these questions and then I just sort of... all these words just started coming out of my mouth, and I told her."

"I'm glad," he says. "What did she say?"

"She kind of was weird in the beginning, talking about 'the right thing' and whatever, but in the end she just said that if I was happy, she was happy."

"Well, she and I have that in common." He kisses her again, and she feels like she's flying. She will never tire of his kisses. "Actually, now that we're on the subject of our relationship, there is something I've been wanting to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Her heart flutters. "What's that? More grievances?"

"No, no. And I'm not breaking up with you, either," he adds as she opens her mouth. "So you can get that out of your head right now."

She fake pouts and he laughs. "I've actually been thinking about this for a while now," he says. "For nearly four months. And I think now is as good a time as any to tell you about it."

"Get on with it, then."

"I love you, Toph. With all my heart. For a long, long time, and um... and I - I - er..." he trails off, and she feels his embarrassment through the ground. "Shit, wait, hold on."

She bites her lip to keep from laughing. "Take your time. It’s not like we’re late for dinner or anything."

"Oh, shut up." He starts over. "I love you. You - you... You're funny and smart, and you make me laugh like no one else does... and you're funny... I already said that, didn't I?" He sighs. "This is harder than I thought it would be."

This time she can't contain her laughter. "What are you doing, Snoozles?"

"If I can actually get it out? I'm trying to ask you to marry me."

Abruptly she stops laughing, her hand still over her mouth, her eyes wide. "What?"

He won't mess up this time. She can tell that much, from his heartbeat and his tone. "I love you. I love you so much, Toph, and I want the whole world to know it. I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how you can beat me up if I misbehave." 

He holds out something in his hand and pours it into hers. It's something on a soft, silky ribbon. Something hard and cold. Something like the something she wore on her arm.

"So what do you say, T?" he asks, breathless. "Will you marry me?"

In truth, she can't articulate how much she wants this. But where her voice fails, her body succeeds. She tackles him to the ground, holding him tightly, certain that nothing can ever pull them apart. When he kisses her, she feels her life settle into place. She has found everything she's ever wanted, things she didn't even know she was looking for, right here in Sokka's arms.

It seems too soon their kiss slows, and he pulls her back, tying the betrothal necklace around her neck. Her fingers reach up and touch the cool tone, the smooth ribbon. She is safe. She is home. And she finally finds her voice.

"Yes."


	19. But Lovers Hold On To Everything: Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate ending to the saddest fanfiction I've ever written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: although this fic has heavily illusions and referencing to suicide I am in no way condoning nor encouraging it. If you find yourself in this mindset or situation know that it is not the solution and please reach out to these resources:
> 
> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 
> 
> Stay safe and although it doesn’t feel like it, it will get better.

"I ended up with the most gorgeous boy in the world," Toph says. She's beginning to fade, her form shimmering under the moonlight. She reaches up to touch his face. "I love you, Sokka. I love you."

"I love you, too," Sokka replies thickly. His tears are falling heavily now. Having her for a few minutes more has only made him feel worse. "I love you. I love you. I love you!"

She goes to kiss him, and she's almost there before her form gives way completely, and he's left sobbing and wailing and hugging himself, the wind picking up as though it has just gained another soul to watch over the world. He doesn't know how he feels about that, but he does know how he feels right now. Sad. Very sad, and angry, and heartbroken. He's never felt this way before, all these things at once. It overwhelms him, sucking out his soul. He curls into a ball, shaking with violent tears. 

How he had longed for a glimpse of her, to feel her presence one last time over these last few weeks! How he had mourned for her, guilt slowly choking him to death. But seeing her, really seeing her, has only brought more pain. Now he knows she's truly gone for good. It hits him, all at once, laying there in the graveyard in front of her tombstone.

Toph will never be with him again. She will never wake up in the morning and feel the warm sun on her face, or feel the brush of winter against her cheek. She will never taste the food that he so loved to make, and will never laugh at herself and her sorry attempts at cooking. She will never listen to Katara's playlist, or play soccer with Zuko, or gossip with Suki, or chat with Aang. She will never again complain about her parents, or be late to her classes. She will never feel Sokka again, never smirk at him with her special smile, never blush under his gaze, never lace their fingers together, never kiss his lips. She is gone from his life forever.

She's gone.

And Sokka begins crying all over again; not for Toph this time, but for himself. 

How is he supposed to do this without her?

-

Katara rushes home one day about a month after Toph's death. She knows that her brother doesn't like it when she is at home, but she doesn't like to leave him alone. After all he's been through. 

He goes on walks most days, though where he wanders off to she hasn't a clue. He did go to her grave one day, but it must have been a lot to take in. He wouldn't speak of it.

She turns onto her street and walks up to the little townhouse she shares with Aang and currently Sokka. He still sleeps on the couch. She sighs as she unlocks the door, thinking maybe she'll pop in a movie for then to watch. A comedy. He loves comedies. Aang won't be home until later, so they've got a few hours. Maybe she'll make some popcorn, too. She's actually feeling a bit better as she walks into the living room. The sheets on the couch are unmade, so she assumes he's out on a walk.

Humming, she puts her bag down and grabs a bag of microwavable popcorn from a cupboard, turning to put it in. Her hands have just reached the handle when she spots something in the hall. Something hanging from the ceiling.

She squints, then screams.

"SOKKA!"


End file.
